Another Way of Being

bluelotusIn Painting the Conundrum, Jeane showed her struggle to make an energetic shift. In John’s dream from the same night, he sees the path to a breakthrough. What it requires is holding an energy within himself – and not being swayed by external forces. By holding a higher vibration within, we all can affect the world around us. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: Well, it causes me to have to probably tell my dream out of sequence then, because I dream the same thing energetically, and then I dream what the breakthrough can look like.

I start with the conundrum. What I wrote up as a dream earlier is the resulting effect of a struggle I’m having inside, and so this is the earlier sensation to that. This is the younger version of that before it can break through, and it’s like a reoccurring theme.

I’m trying to shift or change something. I keep failing, but don’t have the sense to stop. I see myself always reaching the same end result, and I’m at the same point again looking at an energetic issue and it is still the same problem as it was before.

And I haven’t changed; nothing has changed one iota. I have weakened and exhausted myself in the process. I just can’t seem to stop. I do it over and over again. I’m a fool who keeps poking away at the impossible, when a reasonable person would have given up long ago. 

What I’m doing is at the risk of doing damage to my psyche. I do not seem to have a choice in the matter, however, because the way things are is unacceptable, so I keep trying to rectify the scene.  

I see the shift I need to make as being akin to going down a road, essentially driving by the turnoff, the exit, and then when it is virtually too late, I jerk across the lane in the last minute and take this other route. And it is like the difference between missing it completely, or changing absolutely. 

This is a change in which there’s no going back, and I can’t take what I had had, with me, to blend that past with the new present. To do that would be a contamination and would keep the change from being real.  

So, okay, that’s my conundrum, just like you are struggling to change something. You can’t quite change something. You can’t quite catch up with something. You have it as a plop, overall image. I have it as the dynamic of interaction.

In the dream in which something changes, I’m in a place where there’s a lot of wealth and power. I’m staying at a casino. It’s like in Vegas. I do not gamble. I am not there to get into that world. I am there to be the exception to that sort of thing. 

In other words, to be able to speak to that sort of thing in a way that surprises it, because it sees itself only in that way. I do not let the scene affect me. I stick to that quality inside myself. I don’t shy away from the power of the place.  

The day after I have arrived, hardly getting sufficient rest, I go to see the richest man in the world. He even owns the casino I am in. You might think I’m risking my life to do such a thing. I do it anyway. 

In talking to him, I’m outspoken in how I see things, and these things are not necessarily how he sees things, so I take issue to him over and over and over again. This too can get me in trouble. 

He talks about a particular person. I tell him that person isn’t who or what he thinks, that he is a nice guy to your face, but afterwards you know something is wrong. You can feel that you have been slimed after the fact. 

He had never thought of something like that before, and he and I hit it off to such a degree that he wants to know when he could see me again. I don’t know. It may have to wait. The day after tomorrow he has to take a trip. There is also the election coming up. I need to watch that. 

He says he makes a lot of money on the election. That is the only reason he pays any attention to it. In other words, he can’t see why I would merely watch it. He gambles on it, in other words. It doesn’t interest him to just merely watch it. 

I tell him I would never bet on such a thing, and I never do. I leave him and go back to my room. I am able to get in before some high rollers in the room next door – hair up in the air, wild looking guys, but opulently wealthy – are able to even notice me. I don’t want to be seen. 

I take the suit I am wearing, which is the only suit I have, and hang it up. It is already late in the morning, and I need to sleep. I have to be up by 3:00 in the afternoon for another responsibility. I am functioning on an inner flow of energy. Ordinarily I would be too exhausted to function. Somehow this will all work out.

So the meaning is, I’m using a sensation vibration to specifically affect things at the top. I make an energetic impression and move on. I do not and am not affected by what others think, or about the power dynamics around me. I am connecting to an inner state that is free from all of that. 

It is from this state that I am able to relate. I’m in the midst of a lot of wild and crazy opulent people who are out of control with their mannerisms. I am required to be there representing another way of being, but not touched or affected by that. 

I keep away from that unless I am able to reflect a difference. It isn’t easy being in the midst of the power and mayhem, but that is what I have chosen to do in order to set off a vibration that is being disregarded and not noticed.

The last little thing that I have, which kind of is out of order, it’s the third thing. First I dreamt what I just went through, and then I had that other that stepped back, and then this like continues on with what I just dreamt.

I am in a bookstore. I know about this bookstore, but I have never taken the time to check it out. I feel that by and large overall there is something in there, but to check it out is almost an obsolete approach. I must get over this nature. There is something there amidst all the books for me to find. It is mine – if I can catch up with it. So, that’s interesting.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Another Way of Being

Painting the Conundrum

balance-of-elementsAsleep or awakened? Inside or outside? Jeane has a dream that is wrestling with these aspects of herself, seen in the images of a sleeping man, a young boy and girl, and her inability to have anything unfold in the way she wants. When the characters in our dreams are understood as different energies within us, a dream scenario can show quite a bit about the current inner struggle. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: What I remember of my dream is, I went over to visit a house where my sister lived, and she’s not there right then, but her little girl is due home at any time. I like to play with her little girl. 

I go over there and there’s a guy I have always been rather fascinated with. He’s kind of very renaissance. I’ve always been attracted to him, and he’s over there and he’s lying down like on a sofa bed. So I go over to lie down next to him, but he’d been planning on going outside but he decides that we can lie down, but that’s all we can do.

But I think we kiss a few times and he has this long hair that kind of covers my face, and I’m kind of fascinated by that, but I realize he’s really in kind of a dull mood. He’s tired or something, and so I kind of turn around so my feet are more at his head and I’m laying down while I’m considering what I’m going to do because he’s napping. 

He has a little boy somewhere in the house, so then the little girl comes home and I play with her a little bit and I want her to go outside and play. I wanted him to go outside I think too and he wouldn’t… or he wanted to go outside. I wanted him to stay inside. The little girl I want to go outside and play with, but she has just come in from school or whatever, so she doesn’t want to go outside again. So I’m kind of reflecting on when we had played outside the time before.

Then I go upstairs and I see there’s this woman in the house I don’t know, a young woman, and by this time the guy that had been lying on the sofa is now up taking a shower, so I figure he has already has his hands full. He has another woman in the house. 

I go back downstairs. Both his little boy and the other girl are there but they’re kind of focused now on staying there, when I want to go outside. I try to tempt her because we had gone horseback riding before – doesn’t she want to go horseback riding again? 

But she doesn’t want to go out, and then I’m having a few doubts myself because in the past somebody else has saddled up the horses for us, and it’s been a long time since I’ve saddled a horse, so I’m not sure if I went into the barn I’d know exactly how to do it, or the horses would be cooperative, you know, it’s just been awhile. 

Then I think well maybe I’ll go over to the hospital. There are lots of little kids there that you can play with, or entertain, or whatever, since she doesn’t want to leave her house. She’s too close to dinner or something, and my sister has come home at that time too. That’s about all I remember of that dream.

John: You’re talking about two zones in yourself that are entirely different from each other, and yet somehow or another they have to be integrated.

In other words, you’re able to go back, into a state in which you’re able to relate to something as a freshness inside of you – in other words, the little girl – and you’re able to move about in the world with that, but you can’t seem to awaken this other part of yourself enough to be able to put it in motion.

You’re drawn to trying to awaken it. You even see yourself laying at cross angles to it when it sleeps. You even see yourself trying to do things to awaken it, but you can’t get it to come out. 

And so you have that going on, and then you have the little girl going on, and then you have a lot of confusion in between in terms of how to reconcile it. You draw conclusions in between that there are other parts that are affecting the situation.

All in all, when it’s like that, you remain in a type of apprehension, trying to cause something to change, or to shift, but it’s almost as if the two places, the two energetics, don’t match up.

Because there’s the inner and the outer consequences, and whatever is effectuated on the inside, needs to go and be lived in the outer. And that quality that you need to find, that you’re drawn to find, which is asleep, is lying crosswise, cross angles even when it sleeps to how the state is that you’re in, where there’s the little girl that actually is the stage of development that can move around, that senses something, that can go outside of the house.

This part can’t go outside of the house, can’t quite wake up. That’s a trait in which there is something, in the amnesia of it all, which can be a little exhausting and frustrating, and yet that’s what you have to contend with. That’s what you have to do something about, in order for something to come through, to change.  

If you think about the energetic, it’s probably a reoccurring vibration, as well, where it always kind of comes appearing to be like that. What your dream doesn’t do is tell you what would happen if that whole thing went away.

It doesn’t tell you what kind of snap breakthrough that would be like. It just paints the scenario of a type of mystery and struggle that you’re having to try to resolve. And your resolving of it is a little different from the way the masculine tends to resolve something. You just find yourself in the scenario of it, in which something stays on the inside that can’t go out to the outside.

And that which can go to the outside can be found on the inside, but can go to the outside, but somehow or another there’s this gap between the two halves. And yet there is a part of you, which you reject, that can be on the inside and can touch and affect that, but you don’t want to believe it. You give up. 

You have a tendency of giving up. You have a tendency of thinking that somehow there’s something else that is in the scenario. You have this contrast as a quality that pulls back or something, that gives up, that shatters or gives up.

So, what you’re doing is you’re just painting the conundrum. You’re not painting where the result is, of what would happen if everything changed. In other words, how you could get to a point where everything around you changes, or how it can be, that the way you could be can then have an effect that is such so that everything changes. You don’t get to that point.

Instead you are looking at the contrast, and it’s pointed out to you on an energetic level where it is that you’re letting go, or stepping back, or failing to hold and stay consistent, where you’re questioning or doubting a certain credibility.

The peculiarity of this is, it’s like you have this scene, this situation you find yourself in, it’s presented before you as part of the overall that you have to deal with. There’s the difference between a state that’s awakened and a state that’s not. 

And you’re drawn to awaken the state that’s not, but you have your qualms, your heebie-jeebies, your judgements, your doubts, your fears, the giving-up quality, whatever it is, that steps back and lets it go, doesn’t do what it can do, doesn’t see it through, and so you’re not able to see what this can become yet.

It takes a certain adamancy to breakthrough that crescendo and, when you do, then you’ll see what this becomes. But until then, you probably go around and around with this reoccurring dream in a kind of contrasting scenario.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Painting the Conundrum

An Outer Dimension

open-doorIn the dream world, a house or a home can be a symbol of you – the rooms, the levels, even the material the house is made of can be important. In this dream, Jeane lives in a thick-walled adobe-type house, yet she is unable to control what is coming in through the doors. Her first instinct is to pull a heavy drape over the entry, like a veil, to stop the flow. But what is flowing can’t be stopped or ignored, it must be dealt with. She must step outside her comfort zone to allow something new to become part of her. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: Then I have a dream where it feels like you and I live in this adobe-type house. It’s a large house, but the walls are like this thick adobe, and we may even rent it or something because there are some changes to it we don’t seem to be totally in charge of, and one of them is where the door is. 

There are actually two levels of doors, and one of them has like almost like some kind of a heavy cloth screen or something that acts like a door, and then there’s another area where the door is but it doesn’t seem to latch or close really securely. 

You’re sleeping and I can’t seem to rouse you, and I’ve gone to the door and there are some people outside who seem to be intruding, sticking their hands in and doing things through the gaps, and I’m trying to swing the heavy drape or whatever it is around in some way that compensates for that, or trying to get the wooden part of the door to close enough to keep these people out who seem to be intent on intruding. 

I can’t seem to get you, rouse you, or something. I can’t seem to get that to cover completely, so then I seem to get frustrated and I go outside. And I go across the road, and I go up almost like on a clay embankment and I’m climbing up to an area where some things are carved out of a wall, and when I put my hand up to one part, because there are different little plants and arrangements up there, this snake head comes out and kind of bites me. 

Maybe I even pull off a little bit of the snake, or toss it down, because it startled me. But it seems to be okay. Then there’s another snake that’s up there that looks kind of like a coral snake, and some that look like a little garter snake, and they talk to me, kind of like I shouldn’t have reacted quite so startled, but I got nipped or whatever. 

They talk to me. There’s some kind of exchange I have with the snakes as well as other little animals and plants up there, that I don’t recall real clearly other than it was partly amusing and partly where one kept a respectful distance because you never knew just exactly how friendly these snakes were going to be – maybe that’s why I batted the one away when I thought it nipped me. 

Then I seem to have gone back to the house and there are some girls, a Hispanic girl and someone else, young girls in there. We had some clothes we were going to throw out and we had agreed to let the mother of one modify some of the blouses or things, so they would fit her, but there were some other blouses that, at the time, you wouldn’t allow me to give to the other girl and the other girl would really like them. 

You’re not around and I don’t see why she can’t have them, pretty embroidered blouses, but I can’t remember quite where they are, so we go looking for them and we take off in a car or a truck, and I know we go back and forth to some places. And the places I recall at one point we go somewhere where I slide down a bank and fall in some water. 

You could almost go over a cliff there, but I seem to know how to run in that area and not have problems. But I do slide at one point. When I do that, and I fall in the water, I find some keys a guy has lost and it includes the keys to a truck and a small cellphone that’s on the keychain. 

Then I take the girls and I’ve gone back up to another area where it feels like we run into a little bit of danger, and so because of that I pull out the cellphone and call the person, but he doesn’t want to come and get his cellphone. He had a particular date he’ll show up at the house for it.

John: You’re doing two dreams. You took and went from one dream into another dream and it has a different vibration.

Your first dream is that something is holding you back. In other words, you’re meant to have a particular kind of freedom, but you have put yourself into a certain conception mode or something, into a certain rigid mode, in which you’ve denied yourself a knowingness and a certain kind of freedom.

You have done that because it is part of your perception of how something needs to be, in order to please the scenario. And in doing that you have denied or cut yourself off from being able to participate in life in a particular way that you’re meant to participate. 

You’ve kept yourself in a house, so to speak, but a house that has a certain decided definition that you have taken on. So as a consequence of doing that, and because you’ve been doing this for quite some time, it has gotten to the point where it’s untenable.

In other words, something that you’re doing has become so obvious to you, on some deep level inside yourself, that is a disturbance in the cadence of who you are, thus the notion, and the idea, that things are coming in the door whether you like it or not, that they’re breaking in the door, or coming in the door. You can’t keep them out. You can’t veil them out even. 

You try to put some screen or something down to slow them down, but the door is being opened, or they are coming in whether you like it or not. And in order to handle, in order to deal with the situation, the answer is not to try to look to something that you have as a dependency inside the house, thinking that that’s the way it’s held together.

You have to look at something of a greater dimension of yourself. And this other is starting to bug you and bother you, because you’re not doing it. And so in terms of looking at a greater dimension of yourself, it means that you have to do something that you haven’t been doing and, in this particular case, that causes you to have to go outside to take and deal and rectify that.

Now, what was it outside you had to do?

Jeane: Well, I climbed up a clay bank and then there were different levels and at first I got nipped by a snake when I batted its head and another snake talked to me.

John: Yes, when you go outside, you’re going to run into things that are bigger than you, and that’s why it’s easier, and it’s been safer, and you’ve chosen to not do that, because you’re going to run into something that’s going to bug you as well, on the outside.

But by going on the outside, you’re also going to, in spite of that that you’re trying to protect or keep yourself safe and secure from, and that you’re developing a security from by staying in the house and deferring in some particular way, you’re protecting yourself from having to contend with that which would bug you, that would bother you, that would throw you off in the outer. 

But until you face that part, and you’re being compelled to have to face that part because by trying to stay within the house, that’s not possible. This other is coming in, and in its small way already bugging you, so you have to go out.

And so when you go out and have to contend with that which is going to bug you even further, that very process is what opens up your ability to even talk to a snake again. Otherwise, you would lose your ability to communicate, you lose a certain relatability. This increases your relatability.

How does this dream apply to the first dream? Well, in the first dream you’ve placed your focus and attention into something that’s like you are at the head of a train going in a particular direction, and yet there’s this whole other blindside that exists that’s going in another direction.

And whether you like it or not you’re having to put up with that. You’re having to surrender to that. You’re having to accept yourself as having to realize that this exists as well. And only until you totally surrender and let go and accept that, can this all become more part of the overall Whole.

That dream indicates that there is something going on as well that is bugging you, or getting your attention, to cause you to recognize that there is the flow. In the second dream, you’re going out, and you’re getting hurt by going out, in order to be helped, in order to hear. 

In the first dream you’re more compelled to try to ignore that other flow, but in that dream it has this whole sensation that’s very touching to it, in that there’s something about how creation is working in the microcosm, that you can’t get away with that, in that dream, because the variables or something have hit in a particular way so that you have no choice but to have to reconcile, or to factor, or to work that in, kind of like a rude awakening in the sequence of however it is you see the play of things to be.

You have this rude awakening about something, and now you have to contend with it. I would say in the first dream, that first dream is even impacted by the idea that there’s something wrong and that you have to go to a doctor and all of that, and that there’s something that you surrender to that creates a greater flow, and that you have no choice in having to do that, and in doing that this causes you to adopt or take in something in which you have been blindsiding yourself from seeing

And it also causes you to go into another outer dimension, or Wholeness, of things, and as you go into this outer dimension or Wholeness of things, this is not comfortable. This is something you’ve actually chosen not to have to do, and in doing that this is going to create complexities for you. But it also increases what you’re able to know. 

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: An Outer Dimension