In Painting the Conundrum, Jeane showed her struggle to make an energetic shift. In John’s dream from the same night, he sees the path to a breakthrough. What it requires is holding an energy within himself – and not being swayed by external forces. By holding a higher vibration within, we all can affect the world around us. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
John: Well, it causes me to have to probably tell my dream out of sequence then, because I dream the same thing energetically, and then I dream what the breakthrough can look like.
I start with the conundrum. What I wrote up as a dream earlier is the resulting effect of a struggle I’m having inside, and so this is the earlier sensation to that. This is the younger version of that before it can break through, and it’s like a reoccurring theme.
I’m trying to shift or change something. I keep failing, but don’t have the sense to stop. I see myself always reaching the same end result, and I’m at the same point again looking at an energetic issue and it is still the same problem as it was before.
And I haven’t changed; nothing has changed one iota. I have weakened and exhausted myself in the process. I just can’t seem to stop. I do it over and over again. I’m a fool who keeps poking away at the impossible, when a reasonable person would have given up long ago.
What I’m doing is at the risk of doing damage to my psyche. I do not seem to have a choice in the matter, however, because the way things are is unacceptable, so I keep trying to rectify the scene.
I see the shift I need to make as being akin to going down a road, essentially driving by the turnoff, the exit, and then when it is virtually too late, I jerk across the lane in the last minute and take this other route. And it is like the difference between missing it completely, or changing absolutely.
This is a change in which there’s no going back, and I can’t take what I had had, with me, to blend that past with the new present. To do that would be a contamination and would keep the change from being real.
So, okay, that’s my conundrum, just like you are struggling to change something. You can’t quite change something. You can’t quite catch up with something. You have it as a plop, overall image. I have it as the dynamic of interaction.
In the dream in which something changes, I’m in a place where there’s a lot of wealth and power. I’m staying at a casino. It’s like in Vegas. I do not gamble. I am not there to get into that world. I am there to be the exception to that sort of thing.
In other words, to be able to speak to that sort of thing in a way that surprises it, because it sees itself only in that way. I do not let the scene affect me. I stick to that quality inside myself. I don’t shy away from the power of the place.
The day after I have arrived, hardly getting sufficient rest, I go to see the richest man in the world. He even owns the casino I am in. You might think I’m risking my life to do such a thing. I do it anyway.
In talking to him, I’m outspoken in how I see things, and these things are not necessarily how he sees things, so I take issue to him over and over and over again. This too can get me in trouble.
He talks about a particular person. I tell him that person isn’t who or what he thinks, that he is a nice guy to your face, but afterwards you know something is wrong. You can feel that you have been slimed after the fact.
He had never thought of something like that before, and he and I hit it off to such a degree that he wants to know when he could see me again. I don’t know. It may have to wait. The day after tomorrow he has to take a trip. There is also the election coming up. I need to watch that.
He says he makes a lot of money on the election. That is the only reason he pays any attention to it. In other words, he can’t see why I would merely watch it. He gambles on it, in other words. It doesn’t interest him to just merely watch it.
I tell him I would never bet on such a thing, and I never do. I leave him and go back to my room. I am able to get in before some high rollers in the room next door – hair up in the air, wild looking guys, but opulently wealthy – are able to even notice me. I don’t want to be seen.
I take the suit I am wearing, which is the only suit I have, and hang it up. It is already late in the morning, and I need to sleep. I have to be up by 3:00 in the afternoon for another responsibility. I am functioning on an inner flow of energy. Ordinarily I would be too exhausted to function. Somehow this will all work out.
So the meaning is, I’m using a sensation vibration to specifically affect things at the top. I make an energetic impression and move on. I do not and am not affected by what others think, or about the power dynamics around me. I am connecting to an inner state that is free from all of that.
It is from this state that I am able to relate. I’m in the midst of a lot of wild and crazy opulent people who are out of control with their mannerisms. I am required to be there representing another way of being, but not touched or affected by that.
I keep away from that unless I am able to reflect a difference. It isn’t easy being in the midst of the power and mayhem, but that is what I have chosen to do in order to set off a vibration that is being disregarded and not noticed.
The last little thing that I have, which kind of is out of order, it’s the third thing. First I dreamt what I just went through, and then I had that other that stepped back, and then this like continues on with what I just dreamt.
I am in a bookstore. I know about this bookstore, but I have never taken the time to check it out. I feel that by and large overall there is something in there, but to check it out is almost an obsolete approach. I must get over this nature. There is something there amidst all the books for me to find. It is mine – if I can catch up with it. So, that’s interesting.
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