Out of the Cesspool

Maelstrom-ClarkeFollowing Jeane’s dreams from the same night (see Ride the Tiger and Closing the Distance), John has a disturbing scenario that finds him in a cesspool in his own bathroom. What is fascinating, is how this imagery was triggered by a legal battle in real life, yet leads us to a view of the current human predicament and how we, as a species, are missing the point of our role in creation. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: Mine seems to be different from that. It will be interesting to see if there’s a way of seeing how it comes together.

In my dream there’s a problem that seems to exist in terms of things able to happen, and so I have a dream in terms of what that is like for me inside. And then I can see the scenario of that as it relates to my life, and then I can see how that is, in relationship to the outer world, which everyone is confronted with, but few are looking at. 

First of all, in my dream, and this was a very awkward and hard dream for me to pull out. In fact I thought I wasn’t going to be able to catch up with it because I actually woke up with my heart racing, and shortness of breath, and it was because of the intensity of the situation being so bizarre.

Jeane: I could hear you breathing real heavy and stuff right before you woke up.

John: The part that came back to me as I wrote up the part that was obviously shocking, the part that came back to me, is probably the best place to begin. And that is that I’m kind of in a bedroom, and I’m convinced that I can figure out how I can relieve myself in the bedroom. But there’s no means to do that, and it’s all dark and whatnot, and so it’s very confusing and I’m in a complete delirium. 

Then I finally am able to somehow get to where the bathroom is at. Well, in the bathroom… I don’t use this bathroom in the way that you would use a bathroom, where you go up to a toilet. No, there’s a spot that I remember where you piss on the floor and it absorbs it. And I’m asking questions, even of you from the bedroom, where this is at. I can’t find it. 

I think I can see something that’s like a wet spot. I’m wondering how that absorbs it, and then I see something that is like a cesspool. It’s not a toilet, but it’s like a pool of filth, a puddle, only more than a puddle, it’s a hole.  

And in this hole, I’m appalled, having a memory of just being filthy there, and it’s just all mucky and uhhhh, you know, you just cringe at it. I’m trying to figure out if there’s a way that that can be flushed, but I don’t know how you flush it because it’s not a toilet. 

Is there a way of releasing this cesspool? And so I sit and I ponder it. Then all of a sudden I kind of realize that there’s a toilet there, a conventional, normal, ordinary toilet. I had to look and look, and it’s like I kind of knew that, but I was refusing to use that because I felt I was limited by the cesspool of things. 

I’m trying to apply this strange energy. I’m caught in this spin, with this strange use of energy, as if I’m going to make it work that way, which is totally irrational, totally bizarre, when all of that can be dropped because there’s just this simple process that’s there, if I would just let go of the whole cesspool of things that I seem to be preoccupied with, which is all around me.

The meaning of this has a number of levels. In other words, first of all I keep dwelling upon cesspool activity. I’m not letting go of a negative energy that is still there. The filth may not be as intense as it used to be, but it is still there. I’m not able to simply let go of this, so it remains at some level in my system of being.

I know there is a simpler approach, and a more naturally-defined approach, that is available for a person who has let go of things, to use, but I am not ready to utilize that. I keep trying to figure out how, in some backward way, I can find a means to relieve myself. It doesn’t have to be this way.

I’m caught in a recurring memory pattern, as if this is how it is. I mean, what this is like is, it’s like we all wake up, we carry moods, we carry mannerisms that just stand out as imprints in our nature that get in the way. 

And you can know that you’re feeling awkward or out of place or out of sorts, and it’s this thing that prevents you from seeing and being in a simpler mode of yourself, but nevertheless, when you’re feeling that, you’re dwelling upon it, and you’re going around and around in that, and so you’re in the cesspool of that mannerism. 

When you’re like that you’re not recognizing the simple and the obvious. You’re not, in other words, allowing yourself to let go the quality of the bathroom. But letting go is not easy, too, because some people can’t even get to the bathroom. At least I’m in the bathroom.

The reason my heart started beating so hard was, for a while, I was trying to figure out how to relieve myself in the bedroom, which is all dark. It was very confusing, because I had no sight at all in that regard. At least I could see a cesspool, or a possibility, whether it works that way or not. Who knows?

So, the deeper meaning is, this is a dream about letting go. Deep down I do not know how to do that. Deep down, and how I’m struggling in the dream, I do not know how to do that. But I do know how to do that, actually, because I do sense a sense of letting go when I finally accept that there is a toilet there, but for the longest time I wasn’t willing to even find it.

So I’m noticing that I’m not letting go, shaking off, or absorbing a vibratory spin that has me spiraling out of control, unable to embrace the simple. So there’s a scenario. You can look at scenarios, and first of all, I believe that the underlying issue is triggered by something that is happening in the outer, which is not going away. 

First of all, I look at this from the standpoint of something directly affecting me in the personal. And I actually believe that the settlement agreement, which has to do with a piece of property that was in litigation, is so flagrantly flawed in how it was put together, in terms of the demeanor that it carries, but the defendants and even plaintiff attorneys abuse it at will.

For example, everyone wants the plaintiffs to give up every form of access – sign it away immediately – yet the defendants themselves violate the settlement terms, which remain in effect for three years, thus the document is unconscionable.

It is a cesspool that just doesn’t stop percolating crap to the surface whenever the defendants want to stir things up. A settlement agreement is supposed to establish a live and let live scenario. The disconnect creates a continuous piling on that is, from the standpoint of the defendants, not something that they’re willing to let go of, which means the ruse is that they are pretending that they’re going to allow the plaintiffs to be able to find alternative access, but they keep acting in ways and doing things to prevent that.

I am pointing out the scenario because the dream symbolically portrays that I am seeking to relieve myself, yet am caught in a set of facilities that, like a bathroom setting, that I’m not able to utilize in their ordinary capacity.

To my psyche, the ordinary capacity, or the simplistic way that this makes sense, does not seem to exist. There is one thing after another that is getting in the way, where the whole thing is all stirred up, and how do you flush that? This is also true in the world. Such a mess has been created that simple solutions no longer are on the horizon, just a cesspool of things.

We will continue this exploration tomorrow, and see how this disturbing image has echoes at much bigger levels, in A Spark from the Human.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Out of the Cesspool

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