The Prevailing Will

Crossroads-The discussion of Jeane’s dreams (see Into a New Zone) leads John to describe the early years of his spiritual journey, where he was looking for a connection, but frustrated by what he found. He declared “war of God” as a strong rejection. But the will of the universe helped him find his way, in the form of great physical challenges, i.e., a diagnosis of cancer and a car accident. The universe is always trying to point the way for us; sometimes it speaks louder than others. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: It goes back to kind of like what we had talked about in dreams before, that you’re not the will of God, but you have access to it. You have access to this flow that comes through, and that access, the person who is able to be the watcher, or the guide that brings it forth, to see it unfold, that’s the co-creator quality. That’s what the co-creator quality looks like.

You can always try and think that you can overstep your boundaries by thinking that you have a piece of the action in some sense but you don’t. It’s like a type of receptive role, and the feminine just feels it in a greater overall flow.

The masculine has to apparently stab himself a whole bunch of times until he finally figures out, somehow or another develops a wisdom about it all. But the feminine can just go into this particular flow. For the masculine to recognize that it’s being worked upon, it’s more like extractions that are taking place, or jerkings that are happening.

But for the feminine, it’s like she just has to be amenable to all the help that is there around her, which keeps the process unfolding. And the net result is you get to a whole different state inside of yourself when you are receptive to that overall equation of things. So it does seem like there’s some degree of opening and letting in that we have to figure out how to better do because it all pulls on this whole other level.

The whole secret of the spiritual process and path is to get out of the way so that something from the inner can flow through one, can connect through one. And that inner is a big subject.

And what’s on the inner with us is the dream group, is that whole energetic that works as a group. That’s there. I have seen myself fight that even in my sleep to some degree. I’m kind of like a wildcard.

This outer motif that is slowly going away, the statement that I used to make is that I declared war on God. In other words, I took and went on a spiritual path at the beginning, and it couldn’t go anywhere for me because I was too jumbled up. And so I gave it a go, fell back, and so then I concluded that in relationship to how hard I saw it, that the people were delusional thinking that they could do anything in this regard and it was like an opium delusion.

And so I felt that that was a dirty rotten trick that was pulled on people. Some part of me I guess took it like that and so I just say okay, that doesn’t connect. That’s not working. Yes, there are moments, but it falls apart. It’s not sustainable.

So rather than sit there getting all smashed and cracked all to pieces over and over again, because there wasn’t enough solidity to be able to contend with things in this inner way, I just said okay, it is quite an illusion that one does that beats themselves up and walks around in a trance as a consequence of it, ineffective in terms of being able to be in life even, because when you get consumed in that it’s just like any other kind of passion – you go off on a detour, and you don’t get there with this detour.

You just get more bongo-ish, more Haight-Ashbury or something else but you go off on some sort of illusion with yourself. So I just declared war on God. And I carefully stabbed the heart at times when it needed to be stabbed, in order to maintain all of that, and unfortunately when you do that sort of thing, then you have to have your own laws. You have to have your own guidance of ethics.

I didn’t have anything in the outer to work with. I gave up on that as well, and I didn’t have the linkage inside, so I did rely in some sort of bifurcated way with a certain sense of ideals inside. But because I didn’t have any connection, whatever it was that I was abiding by was much slower vibrationally than it needed to be.

So as a consequence I was continuously getting weighed down by situations in the outer so that heart was continuously having to get stabbed and poked and going through its contortions. And I got to a point where that sort of thing, enough was enough.

In other words, some other part of me must have gotten it, and yet I still needed to be jerked out of, or extracted out of, the state or condition I was in – and that’s when I developed cancer. And that then, of course, caused an about face. But again, because I had this adamant nature, at some particular point even that started to lose its way, its inner effect.

And then that’s when I had the car accident. And the symbolism and the meaning and the way all of that came together, and what it looked like when you really look at it, to me that was the most significant thing.

The cancer was one thing but this other, to essentially snap me out of coming back into this density that I couldn’t stop from coming back on, where I had been in a wonderful state over the blow of the cancer, but then I was bootstrapping myself back. I didn’t like that, but I couldn’t help it from happening – and that’s when the other hit.

So I’m used to experiencing shifts that are abrupt in their mannerism. This time in my dream, I’m seeing it as a type of extraction. You go through the moodiness and the confusion and the sadness and a little bit of the bewilderment, what’s the purpose, what’s the overall this and the overall that.

I don’t have that problem. I make up a purpose even if I make it up. I just make it up, and then I gunnel around that until that goes poof. And when it goes poof, then if I’m lucky I get sling-shotted somewhere else and hopefully don’t do all of that all over again, which I always do all over again, only to have to get extracted. But my guidance and help isn’t as casual as yours where you have got the villagers helping you.

In my particular case, all of that is a bit of an aggravation or a nuisance. That is how I see it. But the consequence of what they do to me, what the outer does to me, is mind boggling. It goes beyond my senses, and it’s shot to the beyond of the beyond.

And I cannot help but see that, but just because I had that help in order to go into the next state or something. it doesn’t mean that I have any handle on that. That’s just kind of like the overall prevailing will of something, having an access so that that can happen. But the access has a very awkward mannerism.

It’s kind of nice to be able to just recognize the villagers helping you when you have an arduous process to go through, as opposed to me where things go to hell in a hand basket and you have to do about faces. And when I do an about face, I do a tremendous shift. And then when I make the shift it’s like all a breath of different fresh air, and energetic in the breath, and the whole bit.

But how long will that last before it gets full of itself in some waywardness? That’s kind of the distinction between your way and my way.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: The Prevailing Will

Leave a Reply