Here, Jeane’s dream images move from her hiding from John (see Hiding from Oneself), to feeling rushed and out of sorts. The theme shows her still resistant to making the connection she needs to make. This struggle triggers self-doubt, to the point where she wants to take herself out of the equation. At the same time, the images show her the ramifications of her actions, i.e., she is unconsciously hurting things she cares about. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
Jeane: I felt like that dream went on to a dream where maybe I’m approaching a hotel, and it’s like a bus has pulled in to where they unload, and cars are coming and going, and there are people behind.
I have this sensation like people are pushing too much, or rushing to get into a space, and it doesn’t really give you that breathing room to just kind of go up where you feel like you need to go, or if you go into a restaurant like it’s going to be hard to get service or have things flow right.
Then that just shifts into a dream where I see my ex. It’s almost like I’m going to drop something off for his birthday, and when I do that I find out he’s having this dilemma: he has to hire somebody for a position, and there’s this gal who’s very bright and very sharp, and then there’s this man, who maybe served in Desert Storm or something like that, who has a military background.
He’s just kind of desperate for the job, and he feels like he has the experiential background, but he knows the gal is maybe smarter than he is. And one of them is in one room, and one of them is in the other, and I’m just kind of observing this. And I know my ex kind of wants my opinion, but I realize that the decision that he makes in hiring is going to have to do with what he actually needs done, because you have one person with more of a practical experience, and one other person with kind of more of the brains.
And I’m just observing that energetic. Then that fades into an image of like we’re in the kitchen, and you’ve cleared off the kitchen counter, and I’m looking at where there are real deep scratches in the granite, and hadn’t realized sometimes moving certain pans and things across the counter had caused that many scratches, because we never clear off the area completely.
So I’m kind of saying something to you about we need to kind of get this all buffed out, and then know how to take care of it better. I have to understand more about it.
John: You’re continuing the theme, only you’re accentuating it now, in terms of a sense of disorientation and imbalance. In other words, things are too jumpy, not stable.
That’s a strange kind of sacrificial-like dream, in other words, where you’re pondering what is going on as if it has to do with something else that is deemed more important, as part of the equation of why something is unfolding the way that it is. In other words, in terms of whether that something else is being solicited.
So, what you’re doing is you’re actually demeaning, or taking yourself out of the equation, in that dream. In other words, it’s a bizarre mannerism in which you get into a discombobulation, and then when you get into the discombobulation and you can’t find something that’s settled, and everything’s awry, then you start to wonder if the meritoriousness of the situation is such that you’re expendable, or that fate would unfold better because you’re not holding your own.
But then that then evolves to where you see that a deeper polishing is needed in terms of how things need to be, which means that you have to go into a center inside of yourself.
In other words, the same effect in me looks a little bit like a short out, where you short out a bit in relationship to a type of sensibility. In other words, you’re in the bleachers, you’re supposed to accept, and take in, and observe, and be part of what is going on, and in the shorting out you even cut yourself off from that which is there, and able to be there, with you. But you’re stabbing yourself in that regard. And then when it is taken back in, then you leave the scenario and you kind of cave in. You don’t hold yourself.
You kind of cave in, you try on the pants of that which is other, as opposed to holding your own place. When you’re like that, that sort of thing causes you to be racy. You tend to go too fast with your energy and don’t hold a groundedness, from which your knowingness and center of things is stabilized.
And so when you get jumpy like that, and you start to do that, and don’t hold a groundedness and stability, you then draw crazy thoughts, like maybe it’s because there’s something wrong with you, in terms of the way something is supposed to unfold, almost as if you’re taking yourself out of the equation.
But then that’s an unacceptable thought because that leads to the scratching of things, the destruction of things in an unconscious way. Your attention then gets placed on how and what it would take if that is drawn back into focus for what that is, so that it gets buffed up, and polished, and shined out.
So it looks like a sequence of dreams that’s taking you to a new place. It’s taking you across into a new way of being, a stabler way of being.
The thing starts off, in the initial dream, where you’re not actually able to sit in the bleachers and observe a situation because, as circumstances would have it, you even in that condition are cut off from something, something that is part of you.
You’ve cut yourself off on purpose, but it’s kind of a cutting off that just is there as a consequence of something you’ve done. And then when you see that that’s done, you kind of go along with the assumption of the separation, but you don’t get away with it, and the linkage is still there. There’s a thread that’s still there.
The two dogs represent the thread, the loyalty and the connection is still there, the closeness is still there. Then that all goes off and the result of that is you try on another identity in other pants. So you’re not watching, you’re kind of grasping.
It’s kind of like the first dream didn’t quite make sense to you that you could sit in the bleachers and take it in, and that has something to do with being present and aware, is the suggestion that’s implied, that you have to be really aware of, and take to heart, something in a grounded way.
The consequences of what you’re doing is finding yourself panicky and jumpy, instead of solid and rooted. And in that panicky and jumpiness you demean yourself. And then when you demean yourself, you notice that the consequences of what that does is it mars and scratches things that you didn’t mean to mar and scratch when you’re demeaning yourself by ideas.
And maybe something would be better off if it was this way, or it was that way, radical thoughts, radical mannerisms. And in the end you realize that you’re blindsided by something, you just weren’t aware of the degree to which that marred or scratched something up, affected something that shouldn’t have been affected.
And by being able to see that you can then contemplate what is required to re-polish and put that back into order.
So the dream kind of goes around circling. The interesting thing about the dream is the last part shows, and brings back in, a cycle of something yet to be. The first two parts of the dream act like you’re falling away from something, but the last part brings back kind of like a hope, which is interesting. If you didn’t have the last part it would feel kind of despairing.
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