Return to Innocence

Sleepy_Train_Tracks-1819In John’s previous dream (see Following the Vibration), he understood that the journey he was on was more important than the destination. In this image, he is continuing his journey, trying to resolve imbalances in the environment as he goes. What that requires is an insight and deeper connection, facilitated by a return to innocence. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: Okay, so from my first dream, I’m taking a quality of a vibration that has to be lived in a particular way, and has to be followed out wherever that thread might go, and knows that it continues and doesn’t stop, and doesn’t accept anything, because the vibration continues.

And so as the result of the vibration continuing, it can’t stop. It has to keep unfolding and unfolding and following the thread of that vibration. So what does that look like, then, in the scheme of creating an image, or a dream, in which you have the most trite of all circumstances?

So the dream that’s created is, I’m in an 1800’s town, a Wild West town. The name of the town is Round Up, and I’m good friends with the sheriff of the town. He’s like a Matt Dillon or something. 

And we’re in a bar, or in kind of a saloon-type setting, which you always are in a saloon-type setting when you’re in one of these old Wild West towns, kind of is the center of town of things. And there’s this goofball who’s carrying on, and he says some stuff that is totally unacceptable to Matt Dillon, and Matt Dillon tells him to get prepared because he’s going to kill him. 

That’s just unacceptable behavior in Matt Dillon’s town. And I look at this, and I’m a good friend of Matt Dillon, and this is ridiculous. This should not be the case. You just don’t go dropping things like this, being like this just because something is haywire.

And so I start making jokes about it, and poking at Matt Dillon, and he laughs a little bit, but then all of a sudden he gets mad and he says, “And when I get through with him you better be gone, leave town. If I find you, you’re dead.” 

I head up to the main street and I have to ask directions and make sure I know where the sheriff’s office is at because I need to go by the sheriff’s office to find the train station to leave town. 

When I get to the train station I run into two bozos who were also part of the saloon, but didn’t say anything because they’re strangers passing through. And it’s kind of like, it makes sense to them that I’m leaving like they’re leaving, but they are both pretty innocent and dumb type characters. 

I get on the train, and the train is basically empty. I have three seats to myself, and I end up talking to a guy in a seat up in front of me and he becomes a really good friend of mine. And we’re heading to some other town, and then on the other side of this town is where I can feel that I am going.

And I share with him somehow or another in having talked to him, it becomes obvious that this is where I’m going, when before I had no idea when I got on the train. And the train when I first got on it is basically empty. That’s why I had three seats in that row to myself, and then he was up in the row in front of me, and I somehow talked back and forth like that.

And so I mention, somehow it comes to my attention where I’m going, and I mention the name of the town, or try to, but I can’t quite pronounce it. I can’t say its name. And he says, “I know what you’re talking about.” He knows the town. So, from that I know that he understands the energy, or the vibration. 

So we come to the town in between and he gets out to stretch his legs. And I sit in the seat, and then the people get on, as he gets back on, and every seat is being taken as everyone is rushing on, and everyone knows what seat they’re supposed to sit in. 

It’s like these seats are all something that they intuitively know are seats that they’re meant to be in. I’m sitting in the middle of the row I’m in, and a little boy – who knows where the parents are – sits to my left, and suddenly there’s a little girl even smaller who is standing, hasn’t quite sat down in the seat that I feel my friend needs to sit in – whenever I find him again.

And I kind of have my hand on the seat so she hasn’t quite sat down, and she’s kind of in this amnesic condition of ambivalency. Again, no parents around, and I can’t help but wonder, where are the parents? 

And finally I see my friend, and he’s coming down the aisle and, of course, it’s full of commotion. It’s a little loud because there are so many people getting on to go to this place. And I yell out his name. He can’t hear me. I yell it out again. He still can’t hear me. I’m screaming it out at him because he has turned with his deaf ear towards me.

And I wake up, and so this is where I draw up the meaning of the dream. Quite a dream.

So, what’s happened is I’ve been thrown out of where I have been hanging out, because I cannot accept the security of a place that is out of balance.

The next step is on a train that is going nowhere important. I make a friend whose understanding helps me reach a clarity, but he can’t transfer that into a process for himself, not in his present condition.

The imbalance in the town was a lack of sight. The imbalance on this train, in this friend who isn’t seeing what he seems to know. In other words, he seems to know it, but he’s not actually seeing it. And that’s why he kind of knows what I mean by the town, but that doesn’t mean he’s going there.

But this train now is full of passengers, who all know where it is that they belong on their way to whatever the next place is for them. The seat I’m trying to save for my friend seems to be a seat that this little girl recognizes as where she needs to be, and whose innocence and naturalness and freedom, without the guidance of her parents, is something to behold.

It is as if my friend wanders off, and this other octave of a new way of being is there to my right, with the little boy to the left. This may be a crowded train, and I may be in a middle seat that is usually uncomfortable, but this setting has a lot of space without the usual personal responsibility that I had been taking on.

Now I simply go to a new place that I can feel lies up ahead, even though I can’t quite remember its name.

That’s kind of what is going on, but at the same time you can see in a dream like this that there is a transmutation taking place. In other words, something clicked that got me to recognize something with this particular friend. However, this particular friend can’t quite hear it for themselves, has a sense and can see it, but does not quite own it.

And it’s as if that seat for that friend is actually a seat that hits this other quality that’s this little girl, which is really interesting because with all of these people jumbled on there, you have a little boy that’s going to hang to himself. You have this little girl who’s content and totally at peace with herself, and you have me in the middle.

I mean, it’s a pretty comfortable ride. I mean, they’re both easy to be around. They both have a place in their innocence that they occupy. In other words, in a roundabout way I guess one of the questions I would ask is, how do they compare to those two mugs who were in the saloon that then I met in the train station getting on the train?

They were adults but kind of retardish, disconnected from things because they’re just strangers passing through, and so maybe they don’t have to have an opinion about what goes on. If you try to compare how they all fit together with me, in terms of the little boy and the little girl, the little boy and the little girl carry a whole sense of freedom. The others carried an ambivalence, but they both have this innocence, and especially the little girl, complete total innocence.

It’s very cute what she’s doing, just standing there not sitting down, as if she’s not even aware that I might be trying to save the seat even. At some point in time if she tries to sit down I have to move my hand. It’s just you can’t say no to that.

And if I’d have gotten my friend’s attention maybe something could have happened, but I wake up. I don’t know whether she gets the seat or not, or whether my friend finally hears me, but the sense I have is that she gets the seat.

And my friend, who saw something, yet then can’t quite bring it through to where he hears something too. He then, in that particular state, is going to miss something. But in the condition of the little girl, it all amnesically is there ready to come back into a quality.

I don’t know, what does the right hand side stand for? I really don’t have a good idea or understanding. I have to study psychology on right and left, but I’m certainly having a lot of dreams with right and left in them. I’ve never gotten comfortably clear with what they signify.

It obviously signifies a lot, because there’s always something on the right, something on the left, and often times I will have a feminine on the right or the left. I need to understand that better – I just don’t.

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