In our last post (see Causing a Rift), John found himself cutting a long line, losing Jeane in the process, and having words with a chef and his supervisor. Yet it all works out in the end, as the imagery shows that John has brought all the involved parties back together, as a process of higher realization and forgiveness. By letting go, the elements that have been separated can be rejoined at an elevated level of consciousness. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
John: So, there are two adab problems. One is the abandoning of you, and then the second creating this blindside where I’m not cognizant of how all of the flow is different and changed, and that I’m now out of place and at a different motif with myself, a different edge with myself, when before I was just calm, cool, collected, and accepting.
So that sets in motion something there that I continue to carry as a blindside as I get up to the cook, the area where they’re dispensing the food, they dispense it out a window, and as I get up there, of course, I’m feeling like I got away with something because, my gosh, this was a big line and it will be hours and hours before everybody gets served.
Where we were at was way back, so instead of realizing that I’ve violated the flow, I’m instead thinking about the coup of having gotten up there.
Jeane: Yeah, that would be you.
John: And so the window’s open and the cook has brought out a new tray of mashed potatoes. I’m to get the first helping out of this new tray. And so at first I thought I had just a big normal plate, but I have kind of something that’s partitioned into sections, where you put different food in different spots, like you have on a paper plate.
So I stick my plate out there and he puts the mashed potatoes down on it, and I look at these mashed potatoes. They don’t look right. They look like they’re imitation potatoes or something, they’re made out of flakes or something, and as he scooped into it it looks spongy inside. In fact, I’m not even sure if it was heated up properly.
What he puts fits into this particular part of the plate, but I want more. And he says, “Have you seen the line?” It’s like, there are other people here. Well, I want more, and so it creates this big disturbance. And you could tell everybody else in line was calm and collected, and there I am creating this big disturbance.
So to ameliorate that the cook wants something from me, like maybe that I will acknowledge that his food is good or something. I’m not going to do that because I’m not sure I even like the potatoes yet. I haven’t tried them. These aren’t mashed potatoes like I expected. They’re some sort of imitation potatoes. I don’t know if this is good, so I leave in a huff.
And all of a sudden the supervisor catches up with me, and he has his plate with him. He’s going to follow me to wherever I go to eat. I don’t remember how I got any of the other food on my plate, probably shorted myself out with my reaction and I didn’t notice, because all I remembered was when I glanced down at these potatoes and was kind of shocked that they weren’t what I expected.
And so I look at him, and he says, “Well, you’re stuck with me whether you like it or not. I’m coming with you.” And so as we’re walking along, I explain to him that the cook wanted a pat on the back in exchange for me getting another scoop of potatoes, and no way I was going to do that. I said, I looked at those potatoes. I don’t even know if I like them. I mean, they weren’t real potatoes even.
The supervisor says, “Okay, okay, well that clears that up. That’s all understandable.” And then I flinch, and I realize, oops, I remember blowing up before like this. Hopefully that doesn’t come up, and I don’t notice this until it blurts out of my mouth, that I think the cook should be fired.
Then all of a sudden, because that’s not an attitude to take, then I flinch because I realize I did this before. Now that I took that adamant position, this is apt to come up. Maybe the cook even knows about it or something. And so that shocks me back and I start to retreat inside. I don’t say anything, but I retreat inside in this big flinch, that I have no right to be imposing my willfulness like this.
All of a sudden here comes the cook. I mean, you know, you have to have the full story, so here comes the cook, and he’s a giant. Both of these guys are big guys. And I look at the cook and he doesn’t have his plate, and I say, “You have to go back and get your food.”
“Oh,” so the cook turns around to go back to get his food. The supervisor and I walk along and we go down into this lower corridor area in kind of a dark, out-of-the-way place, and that’s where we sit down to eat.
And suddenly I remember, I forgot something, and as I get up to go out I figure I better look closely at where we’re at because we went down this corridor and that corridor into this dark room over here. I have to be careful here. I’ll never remember how to come back to here.
And then I realize, oh well, it’s probably a good thing that I am going back because there’s no way the cook is going to find us, and at least I can catch up with the cook – I’ve kind of forgiven things now – and catch up with the cook and bring him back so we’re all reunited, the supervisor, the cook, and myself.
Isn’t that an incredible dream?
Jeane: You never did find me, huh?
John: No, no, no. You don’t get retrieved in this situation, but you get covered in the summation of it and what it means, because the end is present at the beginning kind of thing. And so all that has to be reconciled, too, in order for there to be proper forgiveness.
The scenario is that I walked away from you when I realized that you were about to go in circles; that was in the store yesterday. By walking away that created a rift that the higher-self flow in life noticed. I also broke the cadence and flow of family members I am working with when I pressed forward on my own, in other words jumped in line instead of a natural flow of things, and selected this piece of property that I knew was the best piece of property, but it doesn’t work that way. You have to work in the cadence of things, even if it’s awkward, so this is like cutting in line at another level from where things were still unfolding.
The meaning of the dream is, I’m abusing a position I have in life. I am not integrating with an accepted flow. A rift is created that compromises the future. This dream points out where this first went awry. It seemed innocent enough at the beginning to take liberties that no one else had thought about, or was doing, when I move myself up in the flow of life.
The result was a sequence of cascading events that caused me to become catatonically out of control. I got conceited and righteous and became like a monster. Fortunately, I surrendered, and in doing so, before the dream was over, reintegrated at the end with the cook and superiors. I suppose that because the end is present at the beginning that I also accepted my bit and lot in life, and quit elevating myself forward, just because I can abuse the liberty.
Can you see how this is a little bit like Moses and the shepherd? You can see how that fits in there in terms of looking at it in another context or parallel?
So again in terms of your dream and my dream, in case I didn’t get that put on there correctly or properly or fully, your dream was an in-breath as the ball is hit somewhere else, and then it’s purified and becomes the white, regular baseball, and then it comes back down into creation or back down into the ballgame.
And my dream, was the opposite. Mine was an out-breath coming down and getting catatonic and out of skew, and somehow or another recognized the imbalance and realized there had to be the integration. In other words, all parts had to come together in a wholeness, and that’s the cook, the supervisors or superiors as they would call it in a Sufi language, and myself.
And in doing so then that is the in-breath able to go back, in other words not just out-breath confusion, lost and skewed from things. Somehow or another something was kind of reflected and taken to heart, and remembered, so that then you could have the in-breath back to a state of deeper inner consciousness.
And so because yours was in-breath to out-breath, and mine was out-breath to in-breath, that flip facilitated this image of Moses and the shepherd, Moses’ directive to the shepherd was an out-breath mannerism, and the shepherd’s response to that was an in-breath realization.
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