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Archive for September, 2013

StartetraHumans have in their design the desire to respond to the call of creation. For many, however, the noise inside is too great to hear the subtlety of that inner guidance. Jeane’s dream triggers this discussion: who we are, what we think, and what we do all become the total of our life – nothing is not accounted for. It is up to us to have offered something back to the planet and to creation with the gift of life we have been given.  (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: I’m just remembering a dream in which I have gone with some other people into a meadow, and there’s a circle of women in the meadow. It’s a fenced meadow. They seem to be sitting with crossed legs, and the leader is demonstrating something, whether it’s something she’s doing with a cat, or something she’s doing with reeds and how you form the space in them, I don’t know, but it feels like we go there to learn what she’s doing.

But then we come back sometime when she’s not there, and it’s like we’re trying to do some of what she did. But then you’re also kind of disturbed by the feeling that when she comes she’ll kind of know that you were there, and did you disturb things too much or what?

John: Even though you set this up as if it was like a teacher that imparted or created the inflection to which a note was hit, even though you set it up like that, the important thing is, is that something has been spurred, or awoken, so that you’re ambience nature, some aspect of it, goes forward on other levels.

So it’s like on a manifested level you can express yourself up to a particular point, and to where there is a quality that has an affinity that kind of is there, outside of manifestation, but still caught in the magnetism of the physical body. And then there’s the part of yourself that’s outside of all of that, which is universal. 

Again, we’re talking a quality of the soul that’s not necessarily sure, it’s caught by the magnetism of the human body, but it’s as big as the universe. To the degree to which something about you in manifestation rises up to something more, whatever and everything that you do, every little thing that you do that touches that realness inside – as opposed to just around and around in the outer – that actually aspires to something so much more, that catches that link of intertwining, that’s visible.

It’s known that you were there because that’s the greater space. It’s never hidden. That’s the greater space of the soul. That’s why you’re always seen. Everything you do is always seen, and every time you have the slightest little epiphany, it’s seen from this greater soul quality of your own being. You can’t hide a thing.

And so whenever you take and you fall back, and you go into a lesser state of yourself, and you think you’re getting away with it, it’s all seen by this part of yourself that radiates out in the Wholeness and overallness of the universe. And it sees when something comes close, or doesn’t come close, and it knows when it’s like that, too.

And that’s how a teacher is able to be a teacher, because a teacher is connected to, is intertwined with all of that, is part of all of that, is part of your soul, sees your soul, knows what that is even though it has this whole other dance that’s going on. So it has this energetic radiance that reflects.

Whenever you take and fall back, and go into some mannerism or notionality, you put a wrinkle in all of that – and that’s visible. You think it’s invisible, but that’s because you don’t see the subtlety of the greater soul nature that tells on you, that notes all the time, that’s watching all the time, that’s kind of subtly at play all the time for you to rise up more towards its overall beingness, making note of all of that, assisting in its own subtle way, but lost and a little bit trapped and confused because of the magnetism of things that kind of has its loudness that keeps that orientation at a point where its subtleness is the last thing that you’re inclined to put your attention towards.

Your notionality and your senses are inclined to keep going to the density of things, to the manifestation of things, and you rarely listen, and stop, and take something in with the quality of the heart, which then accesses, and is the vehicle upon which – not the mind – that access through the heart is the vehicle upon which you sweep towards, or into even, that essence of the universal soul. 

So it’s interesting that is your better dream because you actually are playing with the fabric of creation, behind the scenes of creation. In other words, you’re taking creation, and yourself in it, and going to the subtler, going from there and opening things up, as opposed to going around and around in creation. This is your quickening kind of point of things.

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tomato8Jeane’s dream begins with an arranged marriage, and then being required to dance for some men that might try to sell her off. Yet at the end a twist arises: a beautiful strand of tomatoes that become jewels. What could this possibly mean? As John explains, we must understand what we marry ourselves to in this outer world. If it is the right thing, for the right reasons, it allows something truly beautiful to blossom. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: So in my dream I feel like I’m a young woman who is at the age she’s supposed to marry, and my family would have me marry this person with a title. And it feels like at one point I’m taken aside and I’m put in a little room and I have to dance for someone. And it’s not a man I’m supposed to marry. It’s more like a broker for someone else, another person might even sell me off to. 

So I kind of dance with my back to them in a way that’s a little bit tantalizing enough to tease them, but really not be immodest or anything, because I have no intention of being sold off to them – whoever he’s a broker for. 

I see myself, after I’m dancing, talking to someone in my family. And it’s not that I object marrying the person they want me to marry, it’s just that they want me to marry him because he has a title and I would be more prone to marry him if he didn’t. 

Then I see myself in the room where I was dancing again, and it feels like suddenly the room is filled with this really vivid image of something that I feel like are almost jewels, except they look like a strand of tomatoes that are tiny tomatoes with little budding tomatoes on them, that just fill the room, and then they become like jewels. When they become like jewels, they become like pearls. 

It’s right after they’ve been this really vivid tomato color. It was very interesting. Then they become pearls of I think white and maybe some pink. Then I woke up.

John: In the dream, you’re carrying a particular quality, that’s the way you feel yourself, and in feeling yourself in this particular way in relationship to the environment that you’re in, that sense of well being that you’re stroking yourself with is getting in the way of something that can come to the surface and be really bright and wonderful.

It’s a tomato. It’s very generic, very basic, doesn’t have any airs or anything about it. And if it can be like that, that would be wonderful, but if it is something that has to do with where you’re holding on to something – as an aspect or quality of what is trying to emerge – then you end up with a bit of a problem. And thus you have this whole discussion as to what it is that you’re to marry.

Now, a part of you knows that you’re not supposed to adhere, or aspire, to something that creates this pseudo degree of satisfaction, in terms of everything being kosher, because that somehow or another makes your rapport, in terms of the Whole, conditional. It’s better that, whatever state that you find yourself in, that it just comes from a depth of balance inside of yourself and it doesn’t have to be about anything.  

I guess what one is meant to see is, okay, yes there is this state that you have but you can’t groove over the state, that instead you have to be very basic and very ordinary and very normal, as if, so what? Because there is something meant to unfold in relationship to that.

It causes me to remember a statement that was made that I pondered and pondered and pondered, that’s made in the Raj yoga tradition: It’s not the mask that you have on that’s offensive, it’s the presence of that mask on your face that’s offensive. Which means your way of perceiving, or seeing, yourself in a particular way, that’s what’s offensive.

Being a particular way, just because of the conditions that you’re in and the circumstances that you find yourself in – that’s okay. It’s the taking it on as a type of image. And in working that out, and that was like, I don’t know, a dream or something, or a statement, I can’t even remember the whole ramifications of that, other than the fact that it was like a type of Rubik’s Cube to figure out, that it was okay to be a particular way, but it wasn’t okay to take on the air of that particular way. That was something that veiled, and was totally offensive, and kept you from being able to be natural to what was unfolding.

So that’s also kind of a theme somehow or another. In my case it has to do with a mannerism, some aspect of my mannerisms in which I am doing, propelling myself with these mannerisms, and there is some sort of motif behind those mannerisms that is creating walls, it is creating issues with everything that I have, every degree of my nature, and it is causing me from making the correspondence within because this other gets in the way somehow and creates a greater and greater distance.

And of course because that dreaming is masculine, it looks like it’s something that one does. It’s a rising, pushing through of an energy that one does that sets in motion this kind of distango. And in your case, it’s something that you take on as a quality of what you sweep in, in terms of your container energy. And the way you feel about that, you can well up into the marvel of the space of what that is like and wear it, almost as a security blanket.

And if you do that, then it takes away the naturalness that can also just be there if you can just not have to go through all of that – that’s meant to just be there. A dream like this would scare me because that would mean that something had to get smashed, but it’s not what is indicated in your dream.

What’s indicated in your dream is you just have to shift a little bit and find the tomato. And the tomato is a wonderful image in terms of how it ripens and how it explodes itself into a way of nurturing. It’s a wonderful image that just mushrooms up for no apparent reason whatsoever.

In other words, it’s not like something you aspire to or anything like that – it just rises up. And so the fact that you have that as an image in relationship to something as a tonality that’s questioned to the degree to which you take it on, or accept it or don’t accept it.

That’s a very healing and wonderful image and implies or suggests that you can take what is in front of you and drop whatever the other is and find what is meant to well up from this, inside yourself, turn it into something like that.

And the fact that I have a mannerism that continues to create some sort of barrier, gap, or distance or something no matter what kind of proximity of vibrational energy it’s able to touch, that there’s something under attack, or under assault, of every degree of my nature, keeping me behind walls and keeping me from hitting that correspondence of where something comes directly in alignment between inner and outer, as is meant to be as a flow, as a naturalness.

The fact that I would see that would indicate that I’m supposed to understand and get that I’m going to have this energy that’s going to be shooting out, but I have to let go of a certain attention with it, as if I’m aiming it for some sort of end all or whatever. I’m not to act like that because I don’t. All I do is fortify a position somehow or another that’s walled out.

In other words, there’s something subtle that has to be deduced to the vibrationalism and that alone. So this is a dream that challenges my focus and attention, just like your dream challenges the way that you aspire or see yourself, as aspired into a particular way or a particular overallness, and that the one way that you have of stroking yourself with it is not good, but a very slight shift and within that is able to be found that which mushrooms organically.

Very interesting state of attention that one is being kind of pressured into, or exposed.

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Behind a Wall

-behind-the-wallIn these images, John finds himself in an arena, very close to the stage – yet sitting behind a wall. He can hear, but he can’t see anything. As we develop our inner life and connections, we must continually become conscious of the aspects of outer life that we hold onto, because they all create veils to our truly being able to see. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: The first thing that happened was, during the meditation, what I noted inside was that I was kind of close in timing to things inside of myself. In other words, it’s like whatever was unfolding it was like there wasn’t much of a gap. It wasn’t dead on in terms of the timing, but it was close, whatever that energetic was like that unfolds on one level as if I’m on another level.

Instead of dwelling with that, or writing it up or something, I slipped off into another state inside and, after two and a half hours, what I now see and learn is that I’ve fallen way behind the timing of the two places. Somehow or another I don’t know quite what to make out of that, other than something is out of congruity in some fashion, based upon the way that I’m making an effort, or struggling in some fashion, holding onto something.

And that’s even reflecting and being seen in the dreaming, that there’s some tone there.

And this kind of carries forward in the first dream in that there’s a program being held. It’s kind of like maybe an outdoor program or something with a stage, or it’s a hall that’s set up that’s awkward in shape, and you have to get your seat automatically – almost like in a snap the seats get gobbled up. 

Well, I end up with a seat. Most seats are gone immediately. I end up with a seat that’s fairly close to the stage, but it’s behind a wall and so you can’t see. You’re close. You can hear things, but you’re behind a wall where you don’t actually see the speaker. Others that are there indicate that it was like that for them before, as if this is a regular occurrence.

And then I stand back and see how huge this area is, and how close I actually am, but behind a wall, and there are other seats that go way, way, way back, and I suspect that they must see, but it’d be just a distant speck, but at least they could see something. And I, right behind a wall, can’t see anything and would have to be in a space in which one heard, and took in, and it didn’t matter.

So I was sitting there pondering if I could hold on to the energetic only, because maybe that was all that it needed to be about, was that energetic – didn’t have to be something visible. 

And I guess that would be the same thing in the theme, or the note, that was set for the dreams: how do I hold onto an energetic in relationship to something that drifts? Like meditating for a certain period of time I hit a certain state, and then I drifted for another hour, and then what I noted when I came out of that was I was even further away for some reason than the continuity of things on a correspondence. 

And so it’s like the theme is, how do I catch up with, how do I denote that part that can have this little wayward drift to it? 

And then at this program was a guy who went around and, first of all, everybody got nacho chips. They’re sitting, waiting for something to happen, and so the nacho chips are passed out. And then he goes around with a bag of M&Ms, and not many people take M&Ms, but I go, oh what the heck, and I take a handful of M&Ms. And he kind of winks at me. 

Then somebody asks how things are going. And he says, “Oh, everything is okay except for all the lawsuits,” and so he indicates that the lawsuits top out in Wells County, New Jersey. He says there he has five lawsuits, one for each degree that he has.

And so then there’s the dream in which I’m affected by someone, as if I have to find them because they took something or something like that, and they’re wearing yellow, is what I know. In that dream I knew at one point in time what it was that I had as a grievance or concern, in terms of just needing to find that person, whether it’s actually a grievance or just needing to find that person, and so I suppose it can feel like a grievance, but in any event it was needing to find that.

So what all the dreams have in common is some sort of out-of-linkage. It was kind of like a hint or a precursor as a kind of resolution or answer to being able to shift in some fashion from a condition that I’m in. I know in the hall my condition was such that I was constantly on the lookout for even the ability to move the chair up a row even, but what did it matter? You just pinched up behind this wall.

So I had that awkwardness as a consequence of carrying a certain kind of thrust to my energy inside, a certain quality of which I felt myself, and those mannerisms keep me behind a wall. So I’m behind the wall and I’m plagued by everything being okay, except for everything about whatever quality it is that I carry that I consider as something that I can lean on that has a value or something that one can purport as useful or important as a crutch, is under a type of assault, which means that whatever station or state that you have, is challenged, is affected.

It’s almost like there’s a game against it, because one holds onto that degree of themselves and that has to change. And it can have this lighthearted nature, and that has something to do with a type of clutchiness, because the chips passed out are okay, but no one pays attention to the M&Ms that he’s passing out except for me. I’ll take the M&Ms, like “why not?” kind of thing.

You have to be careful what you partake of. What you have here is a vibe, a vibe of comfortability or something, or being able to find a quality, or go into a mannerism of satisfaction to settle back, as if something is suitable, like the M&Ms are a suitable thing, the nachos are a pacification thing. It’s still behind the wall. 

One is still, in terms of whatever it is that they think they’re holding onto, is still under assault, every quality that they think that they have is attacked. And what was interesting is, in terms of knowing how to properly experience, that is useful in terms of their well being because it’s in Wells County, New Jersey.

And New Jersey is a state in which everything, as far as I can tell, clamors to reach a particular stature. In other words, the judges and the top courts clamor to make it to the U.S. Supreme Court as an appointee – everything clamors for a stature. So it’s as if everything there is in a stage of progressing, but the progress that’s made is just a little off because there’s something missing on an orientation level.

That’s just not what it’s about. Everything that I do that propels myself a little bit is just not what it’s about. The sense of all of this was this is a carving down dream to try to create a type of humbleness, or letting go, in that how something is unfolding, and what is unfolding and whatnot – one can’t indulge in that either. 

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