John experiences the masculine version of the imagery Jeane has been working with (see A Never-Ending Consequence). In it, he feels compelled to take a shower in every shower that’s available. This compulsion reminds us of the doing nature of life, whereby we can lose sight of the bigger picture. When we are caught up in the doingness of life, we see everything as separate and individual, and we lose our ability to connect to and be in the Wholeness. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
John: So now I have to describe what you described, but I have to use it in the words of the masculine, or the linear, as if you’re dealing with particularities. Everything is a particularity as opposed to a subjective container; I have to deal with the objective side of something.
But in this case the objective side is the experiencing, just for the sake of the experiencing, so that there is the letting go, but then that can get on its own treadmill, and when do you quit going and going and going and going, as if it has to be experienced, got to be experienced, got to be experienced because that is insatiable, too, because when does it come to an end? It’s not a competition like that. It’s not a sport like that.
I had this little image. It’ll be interesting to see if this fits in. I had this little image as we got up yesterday, that I wrote up, and it does fit in. One of the costs is deer hunting. Deer hunting is where you’re trying to find something subtle in your nature, the levels in stuff.
For this to happen, that which is needed must be given away. And the metrics of what’s going on is that hidden in a latent capacity inside is the essence of who we really are, a likeness to that hidden essence. In other words, a likeness to that hidden essence is actually somehow given in terms of experiences in the outer, or experiences that are awakening in the inner that cause an overallness – in the case of the feminine – or a true clarity in the case of the masculine, which is already there, but causes that to open up and it’s like a process. It’s like deer hunting.
This is almost like a flicker, kind of like a preview of things to come. I mean, you can buy into this idea it’s all about deer hunting, and you go on and on and on, trying to have a container for every state that there could possibly be in each state, and being able to vary and adjust and have it safeguarded, each container state.
I can go on and on and on with the process of trying to experience every little thing that there is to be experienced, or taken in, that goes on and on and on and gets caught – as if this is true deer hunting.
So in my dream, I am in what has the feeling of a type of pressured scenario that’s designed to complete a challenge. I do not remember the first part, that was harder. The second part I see myself going from place to place taking a shower in every bathroom, every place, and so it’s like I’m going in and out of recreational centers, and whatever there might be. In each place there are separate rooms that are set up, and each room has connected to it a shower.
And I just go into the shower, turn the shower on, get myself wet, and then move directly to the next one, the next one, the next one, the next one and then go into some other building, and I’m just constantly on the go like that. I don’t dwell. I don’t indulge. I just have to keep going and if anything if I were to stop and look at myself I see myself as on a type of pace or challenge and it goes on like this for days.
It doesn’t seem to end. It’s laid out in front of me to be like that. It’s almost as if a part of myself is looking for this to be a little different, because this constant in a shower, out, and away you go again, and making sure that in each place you’re at you do at least get wet or step into every shower that there is, which is a way of washing or absolving one’s self of things, letting go.
It’s a form of letting go, but it’s a type of letting go that goes on endlessly. It reminds me of Solomon, who felt he had to have an understanding of everything, but understanding is one thing and wisdom is another, and wisdom is of God and understanding is of man and something that is done with the senses and the mind, as opposed to wisdom which is a getting of it in an overall way in which everything is just a knowingness – that’s wisdom.
So it’s almost as if, to get a break from this, I come into this place, and this time, instead of it being a sequence of showers or something, there’s a great big L-shaped tub, like a pool. There’s someone in there, and so I have to go in there and I have to stretch out the whole body length of a certain part of the pool. There’s enough room for me to do that, even though there’s this other person in there.
In other words, I can’t get too comfortable, and at the same time I can’t indulge in any peculiarities about this pool, too. I don’t have time to ponder that. I just do this, then I get up, and as I get up and am about to go to the next place, from a distance I see Simon Cowell and he has got his nice leisurely slow pace.
He has kind of got that all-knowing shit-eating grin on his face, too, as he’s walking along, which creates the contrast, that here I am compelled, and there he is composed. I go out of this area, and that’s when I realize that I got to also know what level I’m on, because where I want to put one thing, I’m told, no, that’s on the next level.
And so I’m setting aside the towels, and I’m getting a new punch ticket for something yet to come, and that’s at another place that might be at another level. And then there’s the food tray and it has to be turned in at another level.
So it’s kind of like I have this little interlude after coming out of the bath, because I know that there’s an untold amount yet to go, in terms of going in and out of these showers and whatnot, and maybe being lucky enough to get in a tub but, gosh, when you get in a tub it slows you down because you have to stretch out and you have to take that all in before you can leave, when in the shower you can just make sure that all parts of the body get hit and are wet and then out you go right away to the next experience.
And so I’m experiencing something like this in order to develop and grasp the sensation of what I’m doing to myself on the outer. It’s like basically on the outer, I suppose as I see life, I see it as something that is unfolding. I don’t know what is unfolding, but I’m compelled to be caught up in it, and I’m caught in, therefore, a motion in that regard.
And in that you get lost on the idea that you’re going somewhere, and you lose the sense of nothingness, or the end is present at the beginning. You don’t have a composure. You have kind of a compelled nature, and so you’re following the lesser octave of things to get to the higher octave of nothing but nothingness. You’re following the octave of the thread, wherever it might lead, and you’re caught up in that.
And I see myself doing that in the outer where one doesn’t know how to just sit back and be at ease with how something is, that there’s this constant churning. Well, that’s the nature of manifestation, there’s this constant churning. And of course we can engage and we keep that up because we’re part of all of that.
And the secret is to somehow or another pull it down so that more of these levels and stuff can intertwine, and that there can be just this natural awareness, something like the ease upon which Simon Cowell carried himself. And with his little shit-eating grin, at least he knew something. He was able to appreciate something.
But when you’re constantly having to deal, like in your case with the container ships at each different level, and how is that going to be right and work out and everything? Or me having to go from experience to experience just enough to have a taste of it, and then finding out that this is happening on level after level after level after level after level – that that very process, which is probably essential and necessary to the unfoldment because you have to get rid of karma by way of participating in motion – karma is motion, and dharma is duty – to get to catch up with yourself.
At some point that unfolding approach is a dilemma, because it gets in the way of a kind of letting go that allows all of these levels then, to intertwine, and that you take that in as a greater container. Or in my case you take that in as a clarity that speaks through each state, as opposed to being able to take in and speak in regards to a particular vibratory moment that has a certain setness to it, that you’re able to take all of the setnesses out, everything that has a setness nature to it, and able to see it from every perspective that there could possibly be, thus a Wholeness and a nothingness.
And so I’m having to experience a dream like this in order to recognize and see myself as caught up in this other kind of pattern mannerism, which, yes, is important, but then at what particular point do you drop this unfolding following of the thread, so that what is made aware, the dimensions of all of that come together?
It’s kind of like a painting. To begin with, if you don’t know much about art you can appreciate just a photograph. But then as you start to take on the subtler levels of things you start to recognize where the shading, and the three dimensions, and the whole context that makes it more real.
And then more can be put into it in which there’s something hidden there that makes that thing really special, because that somehow speaks behind the painting in a way that requires a certain quality eye of being, in order to pick up on it, and that’s what gives it a value because it takes it out of the ordinariness, of which the most ordinary of things would be just a photograph that is flat and doesn’t have the dimensions built into it.
At some particular point you have to be able to just, boom, you just get it all in one fell swoop. You don’t have to have a state, and a way of being, and a mannerism that is associated with something that’s like a flat picture, versus another mannerism that’s associated with a picture that now has some shading, that’s more than a picture that has some artwork definition three dimension to it, all the way up to where you’re layering in something else.
You have to have all of that inclusive, and you have to have all of that simultaneously. You have to have all of that intertwined. And of course this whole process of living in the outer, where you have raw energy and you have dense energy, a denseness or a darkness that comes with raw energy, yet at the same time the raw energy has an essence that’s important.
In other words, you have to be able to see what’s behind everything, at the vibratory level that it is, both from slow to fast. And in doing so – if you do so – then the end and the beginning are present.
The beginning of course is in a state of a certain kind of denseness that we find ourselves in, but then you see that the end of that is a vibratory speed and pace that just reflects this. Just like the dream of seeing a yogi sitting by a tree and you somehow are standing separate and looking and seeing that that’s your face sitting by the tree, and what is the yogi doing? Dreaming what you’re living? And if you quit living what you’re living, would you then be the yogi, or would all of that go poof?
It’s kind of like a Rubik deal like that, where the essence of everything has to do with a true coming together as a silence, as an emptiness, as a nothingness. And yet then from that then is the humor, or the game, I guess, which has to do with motion and keeps this whole treadmill going, of which creation is kept going around and around through the breath.
And from the breath you can cycle back all the way to the essence – if you can appreciate the breath to the point where you still it.
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