In this follow-up discussion to his dream yesterday (see The Lesser Octave), John ponders the absurdity of being caught in this in-between place, trying to navigate the realms of the outer world, while trying to listen to, and respond, to the inner levels and causes of life. On one level, we can’t truly know the truth of anything going on, yet we still need to respond and act out in the theater of life. It’s a fine line to have to walk as we develop our inner lives. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
John: The bewildered conundrum of all of this is that I’m left in a state in which it’s awkward. There’s an awkwardness to it, because every little change changes the octave of something in the outer, and that goes on and on and on and on.
And yet I somehow know that you don’t have to be caught in this maze, where the constructs of things, of manifestation, vary in accordance with the level or degree of the energetic spin. And that when you aren’t able to hold a continuity of yourself together, in which you can be in despair one minute, and excited and totally overjoyed the next, that when you yo-yo around like that, with no proper equanimity in terms of holding on to everything that is, all the levels and such, too, being able to open up and yet accessing then from high to low or low to high or however you would say that, so that what is going on then gets to a point of a letting go that’s more than just a letting go of lower-self natures that are in the way, but it’s a letting go of everything that’s holding the construct of something in a particular state only, because you’re not including or have access to the other levels of yourself.
The awkwardness and bewilderment is feeling this, and knowing that you can wake up, you could look at something, and whatever it is that you look at it can have this whole devastational effect upon you, because you’re not taking into account something because of this other level that exists. You’re not able to know how to factor that in.
What’s really interesting is everything changes in the inner capacity way, but it doesn’t necessarily change in the outer simultaneously. And something can malinger almost as a delayed effect in the outer, or so it seems, as you develop an awareness of something on the inner where it has changed and taken on a greater speed, it doesn’t necessarily mean that that translates across through the levels.
And usually doesn’t because there always has to be this dense, dense, very raw energy, but maybe stupidity elements that run with that kind of energy, so that you don’t really catch up with the essence behind the raw energy.
It’s like there’s always going to be something like this going on, so on one level, you’re caught in a doingness – trying to change or alter or whatever, make a difference or however it is, then you become part of the problem. In other words, then you’re contending with the shifting states and mannerisms, you’re contending with that as if you have a right to interfere or meddle or try to bicycle around or figure out how it is that you situate in relationship to that.
So the dilemma that I’m experiencing is I pull out dreams now, but at the same time what I don’t pull out and don’t write up is this whole sense of how all of this is in a state of flux. And that my nature can’t help but come up with a certain conclusion or opinion about what is going on. But deep down I don’t even believe it, because deep down I know that that isn’t taking into account other things that I can sense and feel, that I’m not able to live, or have a process through, or reached manifestation yet, or however you would say that.
In other words, the change is that it may be done, or something may be dead in terms of how it is able to continue to unfold. It’s dead even though it’s continuing to unfold in a way that isn’t supported by an inner essence that’s becoming louder and louder.
To be caught in this is like being in a whiplash, caught in a strange whiplash, that if you act upon anything as it appears to be in a schematic of the outer, you’re apt to get whiplashed because it’s not necessarily the case. It only appears to be the case, because certain things haven’t caught up yet in terms of the transitioning vibration.
And so it’s a state of bewilderment and bizarreness, because you can sense this, you can know that this is breaking down in terms of a new way or something. The old is going out, and yet you, in kind of a quality of human nature, trying to need to know can’t know what that’s going to turn into and be, and that can be so frustrating because you can’t protect yourself. You can’t streamline yourself to be in place for what is to unfold. You can’t do any of that.
You can have a sense of it, but then what can be happening in the outer isn’t according to that sense necessarily. And so it’s like a type of schizophrenia where you’re out of joint and out of sequence to the cadence, that is one way on an inner level, and yet still somehow maybe even reflecting slightly differently yet because that inner hasn’t fully caught up with this vibratory impact and effect.
It’s kind of a horrible condition to be in and to sit in – and you don’t want to just sit in it. You want to move around, you want to do this, you want to do that, and anything that you do in manifestation, when you know that something else is unfolding, and you can sense it and feel it,m even though you do not have a full grasp of what that is going to look like.
It’s a world of such absurdity then. You stab yourself every time you take and make a motion because you’re not necessarily adhering to what is unfolding. Maybe that’s how one learns to adhere to what is unfolding on the inner, is by way of taking and going with the appearances that aren’t real, and thus you feel the despair in the heart, and the stabbing, and the condition of out of balance. And maybe that’s how you come to know what is meant to be in sequence, and what isn’t. But it’s so bizarre to have to go through that.
To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: In the Maze