Refusing to Accept It

formiIn comparing the imagery of his dream to Jeane’s (see The Order of Things), John finds that the masculine nature has a harder time surrendering to the flow of things. The feminine has a greater ability to see the flow and connect with it as the most important idea, while the masculine can get mired in dealing with specific details – thinking they’re important. When it does this, it cuts itself off from universal support. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: Well maybe it’s just the masculine that feels this responsibility, or duty, and fear or whatever. You know, all the heebie-jeebies about things. Maybe the feminine just sees that this is the way to go, and maybe this is what the teacher means when he says that the feminine is just more able and capable of coping with what needs to unfold and flow in life.

It’s easier for the feminine to do that. Maybe that’s what he means, because what I did, what’s going on with me seems very, very difficult. And even though I can sense what’s about to take place, a part of me just refuses to accept it.

It’s like the feminine can just see the natural order of things, realize that it needs to come in conjunction and alignment with a friend, needs to move these horses at night, needs to accept the conditions as they exist, is supported by what it takes because it’s following a flow, in other words it has the rabbit and the stuff.

And all of that is important for procreating something into life that’s important to be procreated into life, and that this occurs with a kind of a power, and that power is something that you’re able to follow, or keep up with, as long as you bring yourself in conjunction with the flow that is there for you to bring yourself in conjunction with.

That’s why I ask the questions, whether this left you feeling this way or that way or whatever, because the masculine struggles with how to bring something through. I guess it’s just a different dilemma. It’s harder. They suffer more. They don’t know what to make out of things.

The feminine just seems to know what that flow needs to be, and the masculine, in its struggle to understand, creates one heck of a mess for itself.

This is portrayed in my short dream. See, the masculine always has to have something, a clarity for example, and that clarity can represent things. The consequence of the clarity can be appearances of things that it has to deal with, or contend with, or take into account.

The feminine doesn’t have that extra notion of having to probe out like that and try to pull something around, or in, or to itself in an understanding or copability or something like that. The fact that the masculine has this as an issue makes it very, very hard for the masculine to flow because as soon as it comes and has something like that in its environment, that aspect of whatever it is that is taken into its environment that now seems to dictate or have a life of its own. 

So in this particular case that is represented by a piece of property that is 40.19 acres. This piece of property seems to be of interest to the system. And usually the way it tends to work is, if it’s 40 acres or less – and this piece of property is something that the system has designs upon – they can just take it, and when they do it basically is out of your hands. 

In other words, the way things are unfolding can just change like that. But this property is surveyed out to be just over 40 acres. It’s not a true 40 acres, so it can’t just be taken or seized for public use, and I am not allowed to ignore it. I kind of felt, well, if it gets seized by public use then it’s not my responsibility anymore, but it seems to be my responsibility and I have to deal with it.

So I seem to address some problem, or contend with something that has to do with this property. I don’t quite remember what it is, except that in doing whatever I did this enabled others, or some other part of myself that hadn’t been coming forward, to take a step that wouldn’t have otherwise been possible. 

For example, on this property the weeds and maybe grass and stuff had grown up, especially the weeds. They grew in clumps and areas and they have gotten so out of hand and so bad that they seem to be almost like an insurmountable problem. 

And as long as I had remained in that condition of ambivalence, or feeling that something out of the blue had to happen to change things, this attitude was actually ignoring the problem. But somehow, because I did something, some small thing, it’s like it set in motion something that encouraged others in the system, or other parts of myself in the system, to come forward when they wouldn’t have under ordinary circumstances. 

What they did, or the help that they provided, it wouldn’t have happened if I had done nothing, that led to an important step, was they got a hold of a mower, and even though the weeds were such that you couldn’t just cut the mower with ease, they cut it in stages going over it and over it and over it until they cut it down – even though it was difficult.

And so then as I stand back and I’m perceiving this with the weeds gone, I realize, wow, what if they had gone to seed – they were that close. In other words, intensifying a problem and sending it rapidly out of control. And had this not been done, then it implied a disaster with consequences of who knows what. And one would have been weakened as a consequence of that, too. Thinking one was weak would have led to one actually becoming weak.

The meaning of the dream is I am sensing within an issue that has built up, which I would like to ignore and pretend that this issue is out of my control, that it’s something I don’t have to contend with. But it appears, for some reason, in the masculine it’s like that; they’re not allowed to ignore it. 

The feminine doesn’t have that issue of ignoring or not ignoring necessarily. They see some order of something and they shift with the flow as it seems to exist. It just seems to be easier. But the masculine has a harder time with it because it has to contend with the dilemmas that they imagine, even though they can kind of know otherwise in some deep intuitive level.

It’s as if they can’t quite bring it through, and if they don’t, then this affects the things in life, on other levels and whatnot, that are part of the transition and the flow that you haven’t caught up with yet, or don’t realize that you have to be paying attention to, or you come to realize that the flow incorporates that.

In other words, by addressing the issue these other things that need attention to be handled in a timely manner get handled. If you don’t, then something else prevails. So if I do something I think is fairly innocuous, it’s not innocuous in the sense that I can feel it in the bones, I have an absolute conviction and knowing that something is ominous.

I’d rather not believe it, and would rather ignore it, but I can’t because I can’t be setting in motion such a process that would be lending to something that is broken down, instead of taking a step that causes something forward to happen that can save the day.

So the weeds are cut by something connected in some hidden way to me, something in other words comes forward to do this. I stare at this in surprise, and am impressed, and feel very lucky that this is able to happen because I hadn’t expected it, because I wasn’t fully appreciating the problem, and I’m able to breathe a sigh of relief because my conduct had somehow veiled this, as if I assumed that this was some manner of responsibility out of my hands. But none of this is out of my hands. It links as part of the flow.

Now, the difference between this dream and your dream is, I’m having a hard time realizing that I’m working with a natural overall order of things, in terms of a systemology, connectivity, and intertwining. You don’t seem/ to have that problem.

Instead, your dream just shows you that you just continue to do and follow a flow that makes sense, that comes through you, that enables you to find the power that is needed when you need to catch up with the power. 

You wouldn’t be able to bring it through on your own, but by following what you need to follow you’re able to just naturally ebb along, and such a flow has something about it that sets in motion what is necessary for what is important to be able to happen. Me, I have to contend with this, that, or the other.

I sit there in all kinds of heebie-jeebie mannerisms instead of being able to sit back and let go and relax into the unfoldment. You are able to relax into the unfoldment, and note that in doing so, lots and lots of help, or grace, or naturalness intertwined flow come on your behalf.  

In other words, you have a full moon that helps you see light, but the degree to which it makes you obvious because you are maybe more hidden and there could be other forces that could be trying to stop you. You have the means to disguise yourself, to hide yourself.

And yet at the same time, any little hesitation that you have in the flow doesn’t seem to have any serious consequences because you’re still going along with whatever that flow is, and therefore that power doesn’t get away from you. You’re able to keep up with it.

There may be moments when it looks like it could, but you stay with the flow and you always find yourself with what is needed to keep going forward. As opposed to the masculine that just doesn’t quite get the memo, or quite believe it, and likes to act like it’s wounded or something. 

And when it gets like that then it really hurts something in the system, because it isn’t as injured as it thinks. But in thinking that, it becomes that, and then something in the overall flow doesn’t happen.

Very hard dream. For me it was a dream that left me fairly discombobulated, wanting to go back to sleep for better information.

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