Fractured From the Whole

fragments3In this image, John sees a large space fracture into smaller pieces. And, in a sense, isn’t that what we are, as humans, a microcosm of the Whole? Yet the imagery indicates that it is a conscious attentiveness to our natural connections – through the heart – that brings us back in touch with the oneness of everything. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: My dream is not quite as laissez-faire as yours, in a sense of balance. Whenever I talk or work with anybody, or talk to anybody for any great period of time, who has their own issues that they go through, I set off reverberations, and those reverberations cut into the intertwiningness of my own nature.

And so I didn’t realize that, at the time, because I’m getting more and more impervious to a lot of things, in terms of how I hold the energy, but in order to be able to properly hold it and not lose it, I have to start being cognizant of this sort of thing in terms of how you work a certain level. The feminine nature knows how to do this better, the masculine nature likes to just pop things out.

So last night as I sat down to meditate, the connection to a heartfelt resonance of the heart within, the breath wasn’t there. Not like I’m used to, I can just sit there and just go there. I just wasn’t feeling the need, is the only thing I can do to explain it.

So the next thing you know, I kind of laid down. And when I came out of this, an inner visual that is kind of like a vision of something on another level, depicted what was happening.

The way it depicted it is, first I saw this large space that was kind of like a big triangle, and the only thing I can do to describe it, because it wasn’t an object per se, was that it had the shape of let’s say a big semi or something, because I visualized that it had a motion to it, and it moved about, and it had the shape like a big outline of a semi.

I don’t mean it in the sense of just describing what it looked like as an energy size. So, the meditation being what it was, the space didn’t get any bigger. I actually expected that if I stared at it and whatnot it could change its size and get bigger. I guess conceptually I was anticipating this to be how the inner depiction of things worked. 

What happened instead was the space got broken into a number of other totally separate outlines, a littler square, the same square but not quite as big, of which the sum total of these areas comprised the baseline heartfelt design. 

In other words, the energy wasn’t intensified or magnified. It just was splintered. As I pondered the energetic fractives, as if something might be changed, I guess I’m wondering if something had changed, or wondering how to reestablish the singular, original vibratory scope. 

These separate images could also change appearances from time to time. They could be a perfect square, they could be a rectangle, they could be just a little piece, and even though I kept expecting consolidation to reflect into the greater, larger wholeness, the changes never got there.

When I came out from this inner image, I realized I had laid down and wasn’t in a connective attentiveness. And that’s when I realized that the images I was seeing inside were reflecting this very same predicament: I wasn’t connected.

I was connected to something I could see, but not something I could be. What was going on was the outlined inner space was fractured from a vibratory focus of the connective wholeness. But I could see it, so I knew what could be, it just wasn’t.

I was seeing this inner connection as being askew, from what I knew to be when it wasn’t, and then when it was a wholeness, as an alignment of oneness. This dream or image or vision, when the wholeness is there, portrays the heartfulness focalized in manifestation.

In other words, it could impress a common linkage that way. It can’t when it’s splintered like that. Even though you see it, you’re helpless to bring the conditions together. I was aware that I needed the wholeness image as the singular vibration, and not the fractured, separate vibratory states that diffuse the wholeness, for the connective process to properly be in place.

The meaningfulness of this is, I find it interesting that what I saw within corresponded to the bifurcation I felt when I had stopped meditating. In other words, all of it’s connected. I saw the energy as having become fractured from the image of wholeness.

In other words, when one resonates, I can go around feeling a heartfulness. It’s like that’s inside of me or something. But then if I’m not feeling it, then it’s like all of it is still there, but it kind of squeezes into different pieces. I had let go of the point in time, within myself, when there was a quickened need, because there’s always the need in life – and that’s why you carry it.

And if you let go of it, or if you act like everything is okay or something, then it starts to dissipate, or split off, or loses its continuity.

The reflected variables of lesser vibratory images needing to be brought back into a oneness, that was what was divulged. That is what the image was. And the energetic conditions I saw emanated from an overall expanse.

Now, this was in that expanse. This was how I was in the expanse, seeing that energetic, because the expanse was a greater emptiness of which there was this sort of thing that could manifest or focalize something, something about the attentiveness and, in this instance, the lack thereof, to the oneness, which is intertwined, was what was being divulged to me.

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Intended Consequences

aurafieldIt has been said that we are what we radiate. And if we consider that the energy we process and produce emanates from us into the environment, we can see how we can affect things and people without being aware of it. On a development journey, however, we can begin to consciously be aware of, and take responsibility for, our effect on what we come in contact with. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: My first dream starts out where I’m in an office, but it’s kind of an open office, trying to counsel someone. But it’s like I’m trying to counsel one person, or one person and her partner, and another couple has come in and sat down.

And they’re also really needing attention, so I’m talking to them for a minute, and their issue has to do with employment, and some training they have to take so they can get employment, and can they both go to school at the same time? 

I realize the type of school that they’re going for is just something where you have to take one brief course, maybe two, but to them it’s a big deal. I mean, this is a step towards work, and it’s not like they’re total college material, but it’s a big step for them. 

But they’re also a couple, and can they both manage to go to school at the same time? Because they both want to, and so I’m trying to help them sort that out and talk to the person who came first. It all seems a bit much, plus other people seem to keep coming.

So I suddenly have this thing where I decide to take all these people, and by now I have a large group of them, out for this excursion for the day or night. It might even be overnight. And I take them out to a place that seems like it’s on the sea, or the ocean, because there are big cliffs and hills around, as well as the water which can get quite rough, and there’s a farm there. 

And so we’re all spending that day and night at the farm, and we’re going to be doing activities there, which I seem to feel is what everybody needs.

But I remember at one point in the dream, I’ve got a lot of the group up on the hillside and I turn around and I look at the ocean, or the sea, and it’s gotten suddenly these huge waves, I mean just huge, and there are two or three of the group, and one of them, like a woman in a long dress in fact, that are out there standing like almost like riding a little raft, just like a surfboard, right in front of the huge waves and the waves are pushing them. 

You don’t know if they are going to land on shore safely, or the wave will come crashing down. It’s hard to tell. So I go back down to the courtyard. It feels like it’s going to be not too long before we’re going to be leaving. I notice one or two people are a little banged up, but they’re all okay. 

I’m having to get one out of a hayloft who is laying down, and I’m kind of trying to count and make sure I didn’t lose someone, I’m not sure about that or not, to take them all back to the city because I feel like whatever this experience is, it’s what they needed in order for their next step

John: That’s the first time you’ve had a teacher’s dream, if I can remember. The other dream indicated that you can incorporate a wholeness that has a whole pathway of inner-into-outer as an energetic – an energetic that you can embody.

You have taken a certain sight in your counseling, and you almost, like as a type of amnesia, used to use that as a practice. It had certain tools and certain techniques to it that you never thought that much about, and you did it kind of on a one-to-one basis. And it was something that unfolded as kind of a natural, somewhat sheltered, almost individualistic process.

However, that quality, which was conducted in a defined environment, is now something that has become nurtured, or developed, to a point where you can just naturally hold inside of yourself a bigger schematic. You don’t have to take and do this in kind of a one-to-one capacity.

I feel I’m doing it in a one-to-one capacity – and that gets me in trouble. You don’t ponder this sort of thing. You just realize that you take on a larger capacity of the whole thing, because other things are happening around so you just start to include it all. And then that responsibility requires you to make sure that all of that is in good hands and good care, because it’s a larger schematic.

Back when you were in your private practice, you only needed to go so far with that, in terms of a person who would come to you and you would direct them in some fashion, or give them techniques, or tools, or guidance or some sort of sense of balance in some fashion – and then you would leave it at that.

And generally a lot of it was something you could almost wash your hands of because it was part of a process in which there was a doctor and all of that sort of stuff involved. So, in a sense, it wasn’t like something you had to embody or carry.

To a certain degree you did with certain people, but you could also let go of it in other instances. And you did it in a very defined way, so that the rest of your life was able to be able to function outside of that schematic.

In this dream, wherever you seem to go, however you seem to be, you have to incorporate more of that which exists around you, and hold the responsibility for that to the degree to which you are able to effectuate or touch that. That’s a big jump. It’s almost like you just suddenly made this huge jump.

Now, I have been pondering this huge jump, actually. I just didn’t know how it would get expressed. A statement you made is an indication that something more was required in a greater overall capacity, because I know that this strains energy to do it like this, you have to be more overall in your nature, is when you said that you could walk along through the casinos and would find it interesting that a synchronicity or something that could happen when you might be near a gambler and all of a sudden they start hitting the jackpot.

And that would make you feel good that you could actually, somewhat, in your nature effectuate something like that for their sense of well being. To do that kind of activity is actually a type of black magic. You don’t mean it to be black magic, of course. The only reason it’s black magic is because you’re doing it individually. And to actually do this like you did in your practice could almost be accused of that a little bit, too, as a type of witchcraft or something – if seen in a different specter of evaluation or judgment.

However, what you are now realizing that you are to do, that I call more like a teaching quality element, is you’re able to be yourself in a greater embodied way. And so, like I said, I’ve been contemplating this because I actually do believe in some fashion, even though I can’t see the evidence of it, it’s just something that I believe, and I think this kind of works just like the principle of prayer works, where you can feel something resonating in your heart when you do something like this and it involves someone that you know, you can feel the vibration of something and that means it’s sent, however and whatever, it’s out of your hands.

But I believe that one can walk along in an area, like in the Vegas strip or whatever, and hold a particular space and that space can exude out and touch things in the greater environment. And that when you take that space, or try to take that space, back into a specific fashion, it can set off, if the masculine does this and tries to take it back into a specific mannerism, it can set off force-of-nature things – and that’s like a black magic, or unintended consequence.

So the key is, is to develop this linkage and this attunement so that as you move about you’re effectuating things in the environment that no one is aware of, maybe yourself to some degree, but not to the point where you sit there and lay out the specifics.

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Owning the Vibration

main_tranquility_jpgIn this dream scenario, a woman goes missing on a train journey, and her disappearance can only be proven with divination. Yet, if we are all the characters in our dreams, then the missing woman is an aspect of Jeane herself, and the people who make the divination are as well. In this way we can see that all the pieces are inside of us, and it becomes an issue first of inner access, and then of learning to hold what has been brought through. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: I have a couple of dreams, and my first dream it feels like there are two young people, like they seem in their 20s, and I think it’s, I don’t know if it’s two men and it switches into a man and a woman, but anyway they’ve gotten on a train where they’re going somewhere. 

Now, in the process of the train ride, it feels like one of them disappears, and you don’t know if the other one did them in or what happened. But when the train arrives and you try to figure out what happened, you can’t prove anything that happened unless you can find the luggage, or something that belonged to one of them, which we don’t seem to be able to find the luggage that belongs to either one of them to actually show that they were on the train. 

And that seems to shift slightly, where I’m meeting with some Chinese people because it feels like those two were going on to a martial arts camp. And the Chinese people can do some kind of divination so that suddenly this water turns blue, a really interesting shade of blue, or it might turn orange, and that would tell you whether one of the people disappeared.

And sure enough, the girl had disappeared. And so now I’m thinking that I will need to take her place and go onto the martial arts camp. And so the second problem I’ll have is whether or not they take women at the martial arts camp. That’s all I remember of that dream.

John: Basically, there is an issue in your dream that has to do with being able to hold a presence, and a visibility, in life that corresponds with a way that you can access something at an inner depth inside of yourself that isn’t visible.

You’re being challenged to hold the grounding. You’re being challenged to hold the grounding,  so that what it is that you carry inside can come across. It will still come across in the same invisible way, but it will affect things in the outer by a kind of natural presence or demeanor that you carry.

You’re shown that you can do this. You’re actually shown that you have access to these areas, by the dream, in that you create an invisibility, or a means where something is so subtle that it’s not readily apparent to ordinary people.

You call it divination, or whatever, but in any event this kind of going inside of yourself is able to subtly awaken. Well, it awakens, or is visible, or is knowable on a subtle level. How do you take that? I mean, you used shamanistic techniques, you used the masculine and the feminine at the very beginning in which you had one of them, which one blinked out the feminine? I’m not sure.

Jeane: The feminine.

John: You had that overallness blink out, which you can radiate out over things, and you actually saw yourself making a kind of a transcendent journey in which there are ways in which something can be seen, in that regard, but can you actually hold that space and bring it down into a direct magnetism energetic presence in the outer?

This was the theme last night. What you did is just portraying a stage, or a step, that you’re figuring out how to take. You’re being shown that all of those levels that emote in some fashion inside of yourself are things that you have to hold onto energetically in the physical. You have to bring it all through. That’s not that you communicate it, necessarily, you have to embody it, though. You have to be responsible for embodying it.

In my particular case it’s like, because I’m always vocalized about things, and projecting a bit of what I see, I’m challenged in terms of embodying it by not setting off reverberations, or an effect, in the surroundings or environment that I’m in, which overwhelm and, therefore, dissipate or require the intertwining to be turned back, or to be noodled out.

And you don’t have that happening if you carry the space within yourself with a kind of overall quality of being so that it works behind the scenes or subtly. The masculine’s problem is that it can talk about things, or try to relate to things, and when it catches up with something it doesn’t realize that just because it caught up with something doesn’t mean that everybody else has gotten there. And so it can easily go over-the-top and, therefore, that can set off reverberations in the intertwining. And the intertwining is both within and without.

So, I’m beat up on the specifics. You’re presented with seeing the streamlining of a quality of subtle energy that probes the depths inside yourself, with the hint being, that, okay, now turn all of that around to a presence within, so that invisibility communicated through how you are able to carry yourself in the outer resonates out – in a vibratory fashion.

It’s not that you say anything, it’s not that you do anything, in fact it’s really awkward if you were to try to communicate something like that because it could scare or affect things. I mean, that’s the problem with the masculine, too, but it’s better that you keep a certain quality, which has its own inner mystique and also is part of how that vibration exudes out and changes things around you.

So what you’re doing is you’re just shown this whole streamline, with the caveat interesting quality is that, okay, now let’s see you embody that. And it’s still there. You just embody that, and you own the vibration of that, and that vibration emanates out from you into the whole environment around you.

Me, to the degree that I’m carrying or catching up with something like that, I’m kind of being reprimanded because, to the degree to which I don’t properly tune into it as a way of holding on to it in a feminine capacity, I am causing reverberations in myself in terms of the depth of this, having to be in some fashion gets mitigated, or in the cause of nature effect around me in which things start acting up.

It’s easy for me to conclude it’s just something I’m observing, or seeing around me, but the dream is pointing out that I’m a force of nature because of the intertwining that is part of that, even though I can pretend to have plausible deniability.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Owning the Vibration