The struggle to maintain a heartful connection to all of life continues throughout the night for John, as this meditation dream shows. Even feeling disconnected, there is the sense, deep within, of a dormant energy ready to awaken. He has been touched by this heartfulness, as we all have, and the universe awaits our response. For the prior dreams, see The Speed of Gravity and The Ocean of Life. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
John: So those were my dreams in my sleep, and then I had two while I was meditating. Normally I’m lucky to have one. Probably the reason why I had two was I didn’t get up and immediately write something up. I paused a bit and then fell back into this thing, and then when I came out of it I still recalled both of them. And they kind of set the tempo for the dreaming of those two dreams.
And the scenario that I went into meditation with was a scenario where I felt that I was losing a certain heartfulness, having responded to an e-mail that had me touching a particular awkward vibration in a way that I don’t like having to touch in that way, and then kind of carrying an attitude where I had a right to shake it or something – but that only disturbs me.
And so I was carrying, as a consequence of this very slight deviation, an effect then that came upon me because I then had already departed just enough from the heartfelt vibration that when I watched the movie yesterday I’m actually thrown around, or affected, or impacted, or something gets its way with me when it comes to the movie, too.
And so I need to understand what this is like, what this is about, and what I am going through as if I’m in danger of losing something. And yet this is a pattern that I have to be in, even though I realize that there is another different kind of focus or attention that needs to be applied to do this.
Another influence that may have affected the dreaming was I watched a little bit called The Heart of the World video that Kul sent over that was about the Kogi and how they had to work very, very hard to keep themselves from being affected by the outer conditions of things.
And, of course, they’re the ones, the tribe, that takes and goes through the practice of taking someone out of the outer and putting them in an inner and feeding them just enough to live, and just enough light so that they don’t go insane, so that they develop a connection inside that can then function when it is brought into light to face things going forward.
Now it’s not easy bringing something that’s been kept for a long, long time in this other state, and even that can be too much in terms of the brightness of things for something that’s been in this condition within for as long as it’s been in it.
But that is the challenge that they have to go through in order to maintain a more real society, as a more advanced older-brother recognition of the indigenous Kogi twining, that they find is imperatively important in terms of holding a connection and being within the quality of aliveness of life.
So it’s like I’m having this question as to whether or not I’m going to lose the sensationary experience, that maybe there’s this fear or something that I’m going to lose this that I have within.
And so that triggers these meditation dreams. And in the first dream, I am able to feel a sensation that sits behind whatever it is that I have to go through, that sits there in kind of a subtle dormancy in which there’s no real loss of value once something has been touched inside – even if there’s 61 years in between. Which is interesting that it’s 61 and everything, my age.
So once the note is denoted, the time from that point on to when something is able to come back together, to a home, it’s like everything in-between is like temporal in nature. In other words, it doesn’t really completely consume you.
The connection, once it is made, remains latent, as a tuning fork. Maybe it’s not an active tuning fork, but it’s sitting there in the background having a latent effect, so that you do not get as completely delirious as an ordinary person can get, going up and down, over things.
In other words, it’s like a type of defining. It can seem veiled, but it is still echoing within, very subtly of course, an echo with a steady latent unfoldment.
In the dream, I’m deeply affected by something that happened to me long ago. I never really lost that experience, which resides in me as an echo. I am shown that even after 61 years, it’s not like the delirium controls me. I am still able to be drawn back to that which is still reverberating in a subtle way. I recognize this deep inner effect upon my soul as a latent, undeniable quality percolating from a controlled waiting space.
What the dream is saying is, that no matter what I am required to endure or go through, that tie between the moment I am called to awaken, and the time it takes for the memo to quicken is of no real consequence. The die was cast, so to speak.
In other words, it was like I was already born. I was meant to exist in a state of controlled waiting, however, this being a level within that can’t stray very far, because once I was touched in the heart of hearts.
In other words, I became like a fish on a line that is being pulled in slowly. There is no real shore, near or far, anymore. I’m a soul being reeled, and whatever effect physical existence has upon me has no lasting consequence as a result of that.
To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: The Echo Within