In these dream experiences, John delves deeply into the inner realms of our dualistic nature: we are alive in the physical, yet connected to all that exists. How do we manage these two states, the inner and the outer? Finding that balance is part of the spiritual journey and can only be attained by us through our individual efforts, or in our own lives. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
John: The first dream I had was like a repeat dream. I maybe even kind of told it yesterday, but it didn’t quite make sense because I couldn’t quite pull out any dream images to it, and this time might not be much better.
All I could say about it is the last couple of nights I have been experiencing what appears at first to be two distinct energetic awarenesses as I meditated. One awareness is vaster, is quite vast, in other words, more energetically expansive, and just seems to have a perception that is more universal as its awareness. In other words, less limited in terms of the gravitation of creation.
As a consequence, of course, then it’s less present in creation. The other awareness is more microcosmic. This place directly takes on manifestation as if that is the center of its awareness. In other words, it looks, and deals, and feels things, and has to go through the longing and all of that stuff that one goes through when you’re in an ego-oriented outer world and you’re not catching up with the full aspects of your greater being, which is the first sense of awareness.
So, when in the first state I carry a sense of needing to be more grounded to be able to reflect an insight into that less expansive side of my being. This state holds a connection reference that is to the expansive state of my being.
I suppose a person could say that this was a state where the soul is able to move around, away from the magnetic gravitational linkage associated with being in manifestation, or confined to a physical existence.
In the second state, manifestation has me within its clutches and, therefore, my awareness is different in manifestation because I’m looking at things not in the big scope, but in the small scope of things. And if I could see it from the small scope of things, I can see just as much as you can see in the other – but who can do this?
And when you’re in manifestation, you actually experience something in a more dynamic way, in other words, it’s tangible. It’s very confusing because the scope of it is not very expansive.
And even when one’s like that, because I’ve been in this process of noticing these two conditions, it’s as if I even also have a sense of how much more energetically alive things seem to be in the expanse, or this other side of my beingness.
But when in that condition, the direct cognition of it tends to elude me because that requires again something in earth energy, gravitational manifestation, in order to see around the edges of it – a tiny bit.
So I guess you could say, I am kind of flickering. In other words, I have this condition. I could also get caught flickering because I am susceptible to getting caught up in things in manifestation, and if it’s too great of an indulgence I can momentarily lose a heartfelt inner connection to the overallness.
Or, alternatively, if in a deep state of meditation, I can drop the effect of the affairs of the world and perceive a freedom that comes from being outside the clutches of physical awareness. In other words, there’s a lightness in the expansiveness – as opposed to the gravitational effect that kind of keeps you having to feel things in the heart in a limited way.
It’s limited because it’s condensed and it’s condensed, but everything is condensed as part of a greater Whole, it’s just in a different state and you just have to know how to behold it. It’s easier for the soul to be in its natural overallness and wholeness, united and connected to something, than it is to have to be separate and having to see itself that way.
The thing is that when consumed by the magnetism of creation, in other words, when I’m caught in that and just looking at that side of myself, some part of me yearns for the more heartfelt soul. And then again, looking at it from that other perspective, and when I am experiencing the state of innerness from which there is awareness of vitality of the soul I require, I can’t explain it, or I need some touching down, or aspecting to manifestation to explain this somewhat.
And I can’t do a good job of explaining it because the effect of trying to do so shifts me away from the overall awareness, back into the realm of manifestation where everything shrinks and dumbs down.
In my sleep it was as if I could see the importance of each side of my beingness. I could ponder the idea of how to have the best of both. I could look at the two states as flip sides of the same coin, so to speak. Each side had a dumbed-down side effect.
In other words, it was like when I was in the expansive state I couldn’t bring that through in an explainable way from sitting there, and then when I got into manifestation it’s like whatever the fire of that was gets dumbed down and goes away and I’m kind of caught in whatever the senses might be or, the way I put it, in the emptiness expanse I emanated but lacked a means of bringing the heartfulness into manifestation.
In the condensed state of manifestation I yearned to be more heartful and found this to be a dilemma because the senses of my physical being presided in this state so loudly that this otherness was easily crowded out.
The heart is where the two seas meet. There is the mind ego in manifestation, vying for control, versus the soul, not bounded by manifestation in its higher essence, the higher self of it, the innerness of it anyway, which it can drop when you are in deep meditation or sleep or something that has a meditative component to it where it doesn’t have to sit there and stress or something. It can move around, so that the soul then, not bounded in manifestation, is in an expanse that offers a universal heartfulness that’s intertwined anyway.
Intertwining is the heartfulness or, in other words, oneness invokes both simultaneously. To experience both simultaneously is a paradox. Too much denseness and the ego can predominate so loudly that it is as if the soul is blotted out of existence. Or, from the flip side, the soul can drop the clutches of physical existence and soar into the expanse to be free of the gravitational limitations of manifestation.
To be conscious is to embody both states of awareness and all labels therein.
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