The Jewel Inside

the_jewel_inside_by_bib993Jeane finds herself in a scenario where a son is estranged from his parents because he’s gay, which is an issue in the outer world. In the dream world, however, all the characters are aspects of ourselves. So the image is portraying a process of trying to bring masculine and feminine elements together, because any separation, or unwillingness to accept these aspects, prevents us from connecting to the Wholeness. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: So even though I dreamt a lot, again I’m still having trouble pulling out dreams. But I remember the sensation of I was always working at smoothing something over, like down and over situations.

And at one point I’m discussing with an old friend of mine, from my hometown, she’s a jeweler, and it’s like she’s made friends with someone that had maybe gone to school in that hometown, but who’s estranged from his family now because he’s gay and they don’t accept that.

So she’s talked to me about that, and I’m aware of it, and he lives in Portland now and she seems to be a link with him. I’ve gone from wherever she is back to my hometown and I seem to be working.

I’m a little bit lonely because, I think, I’m not in a relationship and I’m working all the time. In fact, I realize I’ve worked for six months without taking a break, and so I’m considering that maybe I need to take a vacation. 

I realize that there is an old boyfriend in town that I could go visit, but that doesn’t seem like a smart thing to do. And then I run into my sister who’s talking to me about how she’s trying to get this family in town back together with their son, so she’s going to write the son.

But I realize she’s being a little naïve. She doesn’t actually realize the guy is actually gay, and his family is very kind of righteous and they would be rejecting of that, so I’m trying to hint to her that maybe she should just leave the situation alone, instead of write him, but I feel like I can’t tell her what the situation is or I’d be breaking my other friend’s confidence.

So I’m just trying to strongly hint to her she should just leave the situation alone, but she already has a letter that she’s going to mail to him. And meanwhile, I’m trying to think about where I can take a vacation that will feel okay for me because I realize it has been so long since I’ve taken one.

And then, because I’m still working, this man brings his… I think he’s with two of his sons and one of his sons is kind of out of control,  because it’s part of my work and he’s bringing this kid to me because the kid’s kind of out of control. He’s a kid somewhere between like 9 and 11 or 12. 

When the kid first comes to the office he freaks out a little bit and he kind of runs in the closet, but it’s a deep walk-in closet. And my sister is also there, so that kind of bothers him even more, and I have to open the door to the closet and go in and calm the kid down and get him to walk out because I need to help them out by getting the kid to be a little calmer. That’s really all I remember of the dream.

John: This dream is portraying… it’s kind of nice that you can do this amnesically and not have any idea what you’re talking about, because this dream is portraying some sense that you have of a change that is taking place in the overall.

You are portraying this whole scenario as just something that exists, or that you behold, or have to accept. You’re trying to bring something down to soothe and you have this friend, who’s a jeweler, and she is using her nature, her naturalness, to try to absorb or handle something that is estranged in life, which turns out to be the gay guy.

So she just accepts him as he is because otherwise he is rejected or deemed separate, or deemed out of the equation. So this part is polishing itself. This part is becoming a diamond; she’s a jeweler. This is the diamond part inside of you. In other words, you’re attempting to soothe the situation, and so you have to catch up with this diamond part inside of yourself that is able to do this.

But the dilemma you have is that, in the outer, things aren’t necessarily all accepted as a oneness, and so there’s a certain degree of naïvete involved in another part of yourself, and that part of yourself is your sister who is seeking to reconcile the family and doesn’t realize and doesn’t recognize that she’s stepping into something that is, by and large, by the collective, rejected.

And so naïvely, in her innocence, knowing that this isn’t right, that there is this imbalance, she’s going to attempt to reconcile it. You are catching up with the diamond side inside of yourself that is able to reconcile the situation on an inner level and soothe something in life so that the process is able to unfold from the inner quality coming through.

And that is something that is subtle. It is something that if you were to try to say it you’d kill the magic, because then it would be like throwing the diamond quality onto the ground like it’s cut glass. It’s just something that is embodied. I guess I would call it, using a masculine way of describing it, I’d call it a type of knowingness.

However, in your particular case, you don’t even get to that degree of definition. And it’s very similar to the trait of a teacher who can kind of recognize the journey of the soul but, how can the soul journey? How can that person catch up with the light and the transformative effect that is who they are, and how they become something so much more, if he’s sitting there giving them a blow by blow, inning by inning rendition as well as telling them what is going on, or what they need to do differently.

Instead he has to hold the trust and the note of what he feels. In other words, he knows the process of the heart and he holds that. It’s not for him to interfere. And when something gets a little bit too much he has to cut, he has to slice, and it hurts him as well to have to do that, but that’s what’s necessary. And all of this is kind of done, in this regard, kind of invisibly.

Your dream is fairly well pronounced over the fact that this part of you, your sister, is going to be doing what she’s going to be doing, and you have this greater awareness from somewhere on the inner, and that’s just kind of the way it is.

Your sister doing what she’s doing is kind of like very well intentioned and everything, functioning more directly in the outer with a lack of a oneness or a Wholeness, actually. She’s still following some sort of well-intentioned definition, and that part evolves that way. And the other part inside of you knows that it has to leave that alone.

And so you have the dreamer and the dreamed, or you have something of the inner coming through and able to touch something in the outer. You have all of the components going on. And the degree to which the diamond is able to become the diamond is that your sister represents the rootedness in creation, and you are representing this diamond quality that soothes but gets to a point where to do that work it has to hold onto this other place.

And just your beingness has to be what communicates or comes across as the potential change agent. Does your sister ever really fully change? You’re never able to actually give her the memo, yet somehow you’re doing an “as above, down below” approach, but you’re not doing it in the ways of the world, in the ways of physical manifestation, so to speak, of laying it out in A’s, B’s, and C’s and definitions that would be of a masculine orientation.

You’re doing it by embodying the presence, the part of yourself that gets wizened by all of this somehow, your sister, that part of you is kind of the eyes and ears then. It becomes a seeingness of things. But how did that happen? There’s no way of saying how that occurred because you never told her. All you could do was watch, hold a space in that regard as you worked inside of the schematic of things to soothe the transformation.

You’re trying to soothe the situation because you have a relationship to a quality that’s bright and sparkly that’s like a diamond, the jewel inside of yourself. That’s the feminine Wholeness of creation that sparkles, and in the end you have to bring everything through. You have to make and help facilitate the aliveness of the little boy, or otherwise you’re a hidden treasure that can’t be known.

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