Archive for November, 2013

Blue-and-Cloudy-SkyIn this dream, John begins by walking backwards, and then finds himself choosing a very painful procedure. In this sense, walking backwards offers a type of letting go that can connect him to a more universal consciousness. The painful procedure offers a physical, grounded aspect, yet it is also a signifier that what we do not let go of can come back to us in a deranged manner in our dreams. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: Well, you forced me to have to tell my second dream first. Because my second dream corresponds so much to your first dream.

My meditation thing is almost impossible to read again, anyway. In your case you just kind of do it like, there she be, kind of thing. It’s kind of an image that jumps right out.

In my dream, I have to be pondered and bothered by, well, in my case the masculine is feeling for some time that a change is coming and, I guess I assume that what is yet inside of me, a latent energetic in my nature, is kind of crescendoing in such a way that it influences the following dream.

Or you might say that whatever it is that you’re experiencing, gets fed back to you in a dream format. And even deranged elements get fed back in dream elements. And that if they’re really deranged, then they’re really hard to decipher. But if there is something that is part of the Whole that you’re in touch with, then the deciphering of that, or part of what is coming to pass energetic of how can the inner effect in the outer, then what you are able to portray as a dream is still reflective but it has less minutia to it.

And it has to come across in a symbolic dream like this, just like in your dream you couldn’t directly use the tools of manifestation exclusively, and go and tell your sister how things needed to be. You can only reflect with a soothing diamond-like energetic. And however that came through, in some sort of inflective way, was as far as you dare go.

And in that regard, of course, your sister is you, so the “as above, so below” takes place that way. And so in a dream where you’re trying to do all of this, you do it symbolically because the directness of things has qualities of a denseness to it that kills the magic. That’s why you couldn’t help your sister, and yet you are helping her by holding the space.

So in the dream, I am compelled to back up. So there is this image that has me just walking backwards. It’s like on like a big area and I’m just triangulating through it, walking backwards. It’s nonsensical, so to speak, but that’s what I’m doing.

And when I have gotten across the area that is when I’m presented with two options. One is to be subjected with a tiny needle into my penis, which I am told is going to be very painful. The other option, which is much slower, and is designed to be painless, and doesn’t effect me as directly physically because there’s a device that’s put over the top of all of this, rather than it being out in the open, is also offered. 

And so the pros and cons of each process are communicated, and when all of that has transpired, I’m given a choice. And the choice I take is the first option, which has me feeling, seeing, and directly experiencing the effect of this sort of transformation. 

What happens is the needle is injected in the penis, and then through the needle a fluid is transmitted, and then the penis blows up, gets really, really big like the size of a cucumber or something, and that’s when I wake up.

This has lots of meaning, but I suppose you could say it is a little like yours. What now? So I’m aware that I am being subjected to a process that is designed to change my energetic correlation.

To handle this effect, my gravitational magnetism needs to be enhanced. Do you remember we had talked about how when you experience something in the inner, there’s the dreamer and the dreamed, you actually have something in the outer, too, that is the flip side of the coin, just dense and dumbed down, that, if you could see it, is also portraying something of an inner process, too, but not in that kind of conscious mode, necessarily, more in a dumbness.

So what I’m understanding, in terms of the magnitude of this process, is that in order for things to be more directly connected to the inner, or for the inner to be more connected to the outer, however you want to say that, my magnetism gravitational force must be correspondingly correlated – as above, so below kind of thing.

In other words, more power brought into the equation, and more power brings in more sight, more recognition, more in-the-moment. I seem to know that it works this way, as an intertwined aspect of the as above, so below process. What I mean by that is that the inner power opens up change to the physiology of manifestation so that there is a more rooted visualization and recognition.

The consequences of what I am describing, now it’s more rooted. This is more rooted like in a masculine way. This is a masculine bringing down of energy. In your dream it would be the little boy, giving something to the little boy as a quality wholeness so that he doesn’t hang out in the closet and be imbalanced.

The consequences of it working like this, as I am describing it, is a means by which the creator is able to come directly or, so to speak, ushered more directly, into manifestation. The first thing that needs to happen is I need to reverse the focus of my energy, and take back the self-defeating projections and actions of my outward attention. 

This is visualized in the dream by the walking backwards through the cloud of unknowing until I have transversed the landscape of outer intentionality. Only then am I able to have the power of my being intensified, without there being unintended consequences of waywardness.

This dream portrays the symbolic process in which I leave something behind in order to embody the universal consciousness. That something I leave behind is my personal and separate cognition which gets in the way of the Wholeness of a oneness.

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the_jewel_inside_by_bib993Jeane finds herself in a scenario where a son is estranged from his parents because he’s gay, which is an issue in the outer world. In the dream world, however, all the characters are aspects of ourselves. So the image is portraying a process of trying to bring masculine and feminine elements together, because any separation, or unwillingness to accept these aspects, prevents us from connecting to the Wholeness. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: So even though I dreamt a lot, again I’m still having trouble pulling out dreams. But I remember the sensation of I was always working at smoothing something over, like down and over situations.

And at one point I’m discussing with an old friend of mine, from my hometown, she’s a jeweler, and it’s like she’s made friends with someone that had maybe gone to school in that hometown, but who’s estranged from his family now because he’s gay and they don’t accept that.

So she’s talked to me about that, and I’m aware of it, and he lives in Portland now and she seems to be a link with him. I’ve gone from wherever she is back to my hometown and I seem to be working.

I’m a little bit lonely because, I think, I’m not in a relationship and I’m working all the time. In fact, I realize I’ve worked for six months without taking a break, and so I’m considering that maybe I need to take a vacation. 

I realize that there is an old boyfriend in town that I could go visit, but that doesn’t seem like a smart thing to do. And then I run into my sister who’s talking to me about how she’s trying to get this family in town back together with their son, so she’s going to write the son.

But I realize she’s being a little naïve. She doesn’t actually realize the guy is actually gay, and his family is very kind of righteous and they would be rejecting of that, so I’m trying to hint to her that maybe she should just leave the situation alone, instead of write him, but I feel like I can’t tell her what the situation is or I’d be breaking my other friend’s confidence.

So I’m just trying to strongly hint to her she should just leave the situation alone, but she already has a letter that she’s going to mail to him. And meanwhile, I’m trying to think about where I can take a vacation that will feel okay for me because I realize it has been so long since I’ve taken one.

And then, because I’m still working, this man brings his… I think he’s with two of his sons and one of his sons is kind of out of control,  because it’s part of my work and he’s bringing this kid to me because the kid’s kind of out of control. He’s a kid somewhere between like 9 and 11 or 12. 

When the kid first comes to the office he freaks out a little bit and he kind of runs in the closet, but it’s a deep walk-in closet. And my sister is also there, so that kind of bothers him even more, and I have to open the door to the closet and go in and calm the kid down and get him to walk out because I need to help them out by getting the kid to be a little calmer. That’s really all I remember of the dream.

John: This dream is portraying… it’s kind of nice that you can do this amnesically and not have any idea what you’re talking about, because this dream is portraying some sense that you have of a change that is taking place in the overall.

You are portraying this whole scenario as just something that exists, or that you behold, or have to accept. You’re trying to bring something down to soothe and you have this friend, who’s a jeweler, and she is using her nature, her naturalness, to try to absorb or handle something that is estranged in life, which turns out to be the gay guy.

So she just accepts him as he is because otherwise he is rejected or deemed separate, or deemed out of the equation. So this part is polishing itself. This part is becoming a diamond; she’s a jeweler. This is the diamond part inside of you. In other words, you’re attempting to soothe the situation, and so you have to catch up with this diamond part inside of yourself that is able to do this.

But the dilemma you have is that, in the outer, things aren’t necessarily all accepted as a oneness, and so there’s a certain degree of naïvete involved in another part of yourself, and that part of yourself is your sister who is seeking to reconcile the family and doesn’t realize and doesn’t recognize that she’s stepping into something that is, by and large, by the collective, rejected.

And so naïvely, in her innocence, knowing that this isn’t right, that there is this imbalance, she’s going to attempt to reconcile it. You are catching up with the diamond side inside of yourself that is able to reconcile the situation on an inner level and soothe something in life so that the process is able to unfold from the inner quality coming through.

And that is something that is subtle. It is something that if you were to try to say it you’d kill the magic, because then it would be like throwing the diamond quality onto the ground like it’s cut glass. It’s just something that is embodied. I guess I would call it, using a masculine way of describing it, I’d call it a type of knowingness.

However, in your particular case, you don’t even get to that degree of definition. And it’s very similar to the trait of a teacher who can kind of recognize the journey of the soul but, how can the soul journey? How can that person catch up with the light and the transformative effect that is who they are, and how they become something so much more, if he’s sitting there giving them a blow by blow, inning by inning rendition as well as telling them what is going on, or what they need to do differently.

Instead he has to hold the trust and the note of what he feels. In other words, he knows the process of the heart and he holds that. It’s not for him to interfere. And when something gets a little bit too much he has to cut, he has to slice, and it hurts him as well to have to do that, but that’s what’s necessary. And all of this is kind of done, in this regard, kind of invisibly.

Your dream is fairly well pronounced over the fact that this part of you, your sister, is going to be doing what she’s going to be doing, and you have this greater awareness from somewhere on the inner, and that’s just kind of the way it is.

Your sister doing what she’s doing is kind of like very well intentioned and everything, functioning more directly in the outer with a lack of a oneness or a Wholeness, actually. She’s still following some sort of well-intentioned definition, and that part evolves that way. And the other part inside of you knows that it has to leave that alone.

And so you have the dreamer and the dreamed, or you have something of the inner coming through and able to touch something in the outer. You have all of the components going on. And the degree to which the diamond is able to become the diamond is that your sister represents the rootedness in creation, and you are representing this diamond quality that soothes but gets to a point where to do that work it has to hold onto this other place.

And just your beingness has to be what communicates or comes across as the potential change agent. Does your sister ever really fully change? You’re never able to actually give her the memo, yet somehow you’re doing an “as above, down below” approach, but you’re not doing it in the ways of the world, in the ways of physical manifestation, so to speak, of laying it out in A’s, B’s, and C’s and definitions that would be of a masculine orientation.

You’re doing it by embodying the presence, the part of yourself that gets wizened by all of this somehow, your sister, that part of you is kind of the eyes and ears then. It becomes a seeingness of things. But how did that happen? There’s no way of saying how that occurred because you never told her. All you could do was watch, hold a space in that regard as you worked inside of the schematic of things to soothe the transformation.

You’re trying to soothe the situation because you have a relationship to a quality that’s bright and sparkly that’s like a diamond, the jewel inside of yourself. That’s the feminine Wholeness of creation that sparkles, and in the end you have to bring everything through. You have to make and help facilitate the aliveness of the little boy, or otherwise you’re a hidden treasure that can’t be known.

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Lifting the Spell

Green Man -1Through this series of images, John is shown that obligations imposed from outside, if they distract him from his path, cut him off from the flow of life. We are all constantly barraged by interactions that we feel a responsibility toward, yet, ultimately, our responsibility is to stay connected to the flow.

(At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So in this next dream, a person wants me to call and spend some time talking to them before I leave a program. 

And so, in the dream I’m kind of sitting in a building, what kind of building I’m not sure, and outside of the window from this building I see “B” and she starts making motions that I was supposed to have called, and then she’s making those motions again about how I abandoned and she was hurt. Because when she said it I just kind of begrudgingly says, okay, but it should have been obvious that what could you say under those circumstances. So she’s reflecting images of being hurt. 

This is all done with gestures because I’m in the building and she’s outside of the building. The windows are closed so you can’t readily talk. And so at some particular point I make the motion for her to come over to where we’re at, and then the dream kind of shifts because when the person comes over I’m sitting in the passenger seat of a car and a parental type figure is at the wheel ready to leave. 

Others come over, too, that are part of the group or something, and before you know it there’s this image in which B’s in the front seat and she’s turned around talking to someone in the backseat, and there are three or four others with the group that are drooped around the car. And  the parental figure is kind of a little bit flabbergasted and he’s looking out the side window as if he doesn’t know what to make out of this condition that’s holding things back – but going along with it nevertheless. 

When the car does start to drive slowly where I am is, I’m holding on to the passenger side window and kind of have my feet down on the ground, sitting almost like on the curb with my feet dragging as the car moves slowly down the road. 

So I look ahead and I see a pile of wood that my feet are going to run into and that would break my feet, and then a little farther beyond that is a hydrant sticking up, which would have crippled me. 

By getting my feet out of the gutter, I then say, “I’m now free to go.” That was a hard dream to write up to describe that peculiar image.

So the meaning is, I am hearing an echo-like responsibility inside of myself, and this is like a synaptic echo that is holding me back like a spell. When I shake that it is like a spell that is lifted; I am okay or, in other words, free again.

This is also like a self-imposed sense of duty that is conceptual, in other words it’s not practical, that gets its clutches in me. And the echo-like obligation keeps me from being true to myself. This dream is indicating that I carry the condition, and can’t shake the promise that was inferred.

This spell is compromising my well being and safety. To see it for what it is is my redemption from this imposition that holds me back. So it’s like I’m breaking through a stigma, just like when you work with things you find out that you’ve taken on other things that are a little bit off the path.

And then in a prior dream, I’m in bed and instead of getting up in a timely manner, I am relaying dream energy to others who are there. And then as they kind of leave, because I have to be getting up, “K” sees the notebook that I was using and feels I should spread out the writing; it is too hard to read. 

I comment back to her, “Oh, it wasn’t so bad,” and I proceed to flip through the pages of my notebook going to show her a page that you really can’t read at all, but I can’t find one like that. And in flipping around, as if I have to prove a point or something, I’m revealing too much about the connection that is best kept as a quiet unfoldment, because I realize that in doing that she was surprised that I had so much in the notebook.

And then in another image, I see myself crawling through a window. In other words, I have to go somewhere, and the only way out is to crawl through an open window. So I kind of crawl through an open window and on the other side I have to scoot along some dried rose bushes, which turn out to be extremely painful. I hadn’t expected dried rose bushes to be so sharp.  

In fact, it’s so painful that I find it easier and less of a problem to just roll over an alive rose bush, and that gets me out of this little corner area after crawling out the window that I was in. So going over the top of a live rose bush is less painful.

And again, this is kind of a dream still in conjunction with K being around, and I point out to K and others who are watching me extricate myself from the room, it’s their opinion and thinking that I am mistaken, but I know better having just had the personal experience. In other words, not with the old and the dead, but with the alive and the new – it’s less painful. 

Essentially the meaning is that, first of all, I must utilize my time to go over that which is alive and not get all pained over that which is of the past and dead. The past is painful, and what is alive now that’s important, that’s the way out, that turns out to be the actual way out.

The other looked like it was an opening, but all those dead branches or whatever it was of an old rose bush were just too sharp and painful. You hurt yourself too much. You needed to stay where it was alive and quickened.

But as the dreams all show, like the previous one, I can’t be that way, however, if I remain self-conscious or obligatory to others who do not understand the focus and attention needed. From time to time this causes me to become distracted, a condition that affects my sense of direction, and in the dreaming this has been lifted, which means that a barrier that had been in place has been removed.

And then in this final dream, it’s a very strange image but again it’s supporting something that is on the move again, because the dream has this memory of where I had tried to get on the back of a flatbed that was to travel around the world, and that effort didn’t work out.

And this time I’ve jumped on the back end of it and it starts up with a jolt and I practically slide off of it, but because it’s not going real fast to begin with I’m able to pull myself back up on it. I’m kind of half on and half off the end of it. I’m meant to be the passenger. I’m meant to be going there, but to fall off, well, that’s embarrassing, especially right at the very beginning.

But, like I say, it’s moving slowly enough I’m able to, with a lot of effort, pull myself back on, and this vehicle is a vehicle that’s going to be traveling around the world. To get on board, for me turned out to be the hard part. After that is just a matter of going along with the ride. 

But a meaning is that this is another image that things have broken loose and are flowing again.

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