Ready to Merge

birth-anne-cameron-cutriHere Jeane dreams of being with a group of women who are pregnant, and who have all gone off to give birth. She remains behind with another woman, yet the time comes for them to go with the others. The symbolism of birth, or being pregnant with something ready to emerge into life, is held back here by the other woman, who is another aspect of Jeane herself, because that life in her is still indulging in personalized pleasures. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: The very first dream I remember, it’s just more a scene. It feels like in this dream we’re all women, and we’re all pregnant, and a group of women have gone off to where they’re going to give birth. 

But there’s one other woman and myself who are still left behind because we’re not quite ready yet; we’re almost ready. So I’ve gone to where she is to get her because it’s probably time that we should start going to wherever people give birth and, when I see her, she’s like sitting there. She has dark hair and she has like this honey on one of those… it’s like a wooden spool where you can kind of pick up the honey and then it drips down.

So she has some honey that she’s like picked up and it’s dripped down and she’s licking some of the honey when I find her. So I’m kind of fascinated by that image of her and the honey. But then I need to tell her that we need to maybe go where all the other women have gone.

John: And so what you’re recognizing, or experiencing, inside is the connection that has gotten to a point where you need the next step in terms of the closeness of this. It’s like a type of merging.

In other words, you’re both aspects of yourself. You’re dealing with two aspects of yourself. You’re dealing with the aspect of yourself that knows that it needs to go there for a completion, and then there’s this other aspect of yourself that, in this particular case, is holding back a little bit. It’s not quite getting the memo because it still has a self-indulgent quality to itself.

It still is taking on something as its own edification, which is like the honey or something, the sweetness. It is still trying to sustain, or maintain, that sweetness. And that is holding it back, or is a gap, or is a kind of amnesia, or a lack of total letting go and abandon that is needed.

And that this indulgence in this aspect of a sweetness, this self-indulgent trait that it thinks is important, is getting in the way with going to this place, stepping in and going to this place that you have been aspiring to for quite some time, but are now at a point where you’re ready – as the dream indicates – to give birth, or to merge, or to bring something all the way through – in terms of that essence.

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At An End

sunset_purpleIn This image, John feels himself enter into a quiet space – leaving the noise of everyday life behind. Yet even though this quiet space is beautiful, he struggles with trying to handle it and, in doing so, turns to creating a noise so that he will feel more comfortable. In the same way, we often cling to what is known and familiar to resist what is new and unknown. Yet that is a set back that we can no longer indulge in. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So in the meditation dream, to begin with I see myself in kind of like an ordinary world. And in the ordinary world, there is the usual ambient sounds that exist that are part of manifestation and life around you, and those are created by things that are just in the outer, and any noise and whatnot like radios and stuff like that exist that are man-made, and you just kind of to begin with take that into account in a way that keeps you in manifestation and holds you back.

And you do the best you can and you proceed with all of that commotion and all of that going on around you and then, at some point, it’s like you go through a space, or that there is a space that you enter into, and in that space the sound goes away.  

It’s like going into a house was kind of another sense that I had about it, in which the ambient sound and the noise and everything in manifestation just seems to like kind of go away, so it’s like going into a house, or going into a space. And the quietness, and the stillness of that, is such that because you’re accustomed to the ambient sound and noises and everything from where you were, this can be kind of hard, and so you may need to do something to still denote some action, or motion, or movement when you’re in this space where there is an emptiness or a nothingness.

And this is where a person is, in a sense, kind of overwhelmed by the light, because if you weren’t, you’d be able to sit in this space. It’s actually a very wonderful space and, when you’re in it, it’s incredible. But whatever it is that you do in that space is intensified. You don’t have the ambient sound and the other commotion and whatnot that just kind of keeps you in an amnesia.

And so whatever it is that still is going on creates some sort of reverb, or pattern, that you do because you’re not able to sit in the total emptiness and the total nothingness, to kind of make it more palpable or something. It’s a strange thing of making it more palpable.

And so, when I’m in this house, or in this space, I have all kinds of different things that are very, very subtle that I might fall back and find myself doing. I might suddenly indulge in the idea like there’s a mystery that has to be solved. It’s as if I’m doing a word thing or something, and I will think of all the ways to orchestrate the word “pear.” 

There’s pear P E A R, and then there’s paring, which is P A R I N G, and I go through all of this in order – not that I’m actually figuring anything out, it’s to be able to be palpable in this state in which there is total silence and a total nothingness and a total peace and a total calm. 

When I was in the ambient state where there was the conduct of things, and the noise of things, going on this kind of took and in its amnesia of not being so intense, but when I first went into this house or room or space that was so totally quiet, I noticed it was extremely wonderful and what a relief from all of this other ambient noise, but it was something that was almost too pristine to handle.

So I did this sort of thing and I did other things in the house. If it wasn’t that, it was some other little peculiarity that enabled me to maintain some sort of echo of familiarity because sitting in a state where nothing is going on is just not quite what I’m capable of doing.  

In other words, this was the paradox I still have in terms of a mannerism when I’m within a vacuum, in other words, not quite being able to absorb the space.

This fits with your dream from the standpoint that if you’re not careful with this you can develop a neurosis or reverb to such a degree that you can develop a knot in your stomach, because in this state you’re trying to still respond in the same way having some racket or something or something still warbling.

And when you’re in a state that’s this pristine and you have a little bit like that, it’s a very strange spin. You can see this often times in people that if you speed certain people up and if they’re unstable, or mentally off or something, they can’t get out of it. They can’t get it to cycle through and they go into kind of a schizophrenic or some little reverb that goes over and over again and that torments the heck out of them. They can’t find the relief, they can’t find the flow, and it could put a knot in their stomach, it could tear them up.

You’re meant to be able to handle this greater state. One of the other things I did was I would mumble things like one, three, three, three, three and one, three, three, three, anything to break the silence and create some sort of reverb orientation back to the old physical world of familiarity, of ambient sound and common sensation or whatever, because I still have my synaptic linkage to manifestation.

So to begin with, when you go into a space like this, it’s just momentary, and what happened is this space came along like a detour to how one is ordinarily in this ambient space. It’s like a detour. It’s like a time out. It’s like a shift. It’s like something that I just fell into and it’s part of the path.

You don’t keep taking out ambient sound and ambient sound, and you don’t keep noodling this little by little, still holding onto something in the outer. You have to, at some point, go through this and just let go of all of that. But my way of going through it was it was a little much, and I had to figure out how to keep something familiar going on, even though I can’t tell you what that was about and what purpose that served, other than the fact I suppose it gave me some sort of degree of whatever I still needed – in terms of a familiarity.

And I’m not used to being able to be in the space where I totally am in a state of nothingness – and that should be my real home. What is going on is, of course, I’m experiencing an emptiness. I’ve gone into an emptiness that I’m not able to necessarily fully handle, or recognize, or a nothing but nothingness which was the shift from the senses that are in the outer, and everything that holds the outer together is a particular way, and that is not in this space.

In other words, this neurosis, and the stuff that we carry, and the ambient noise that we identify with, that is what holds the old world together. We identify with that. We have those things that we insist on having. We designed this era of time that we currently are living in. We designed it this way.

Now that era of time has come to an end, and we’re having to let go of all of that, we’re having to look at what we design and take responsibility for it, in terms of it having gotten to a point of decay. And that I suspect this is true of everyone because of the oneness, but then one has to then, having let go, then hand it off to a cleaner vibration that then takes on the seed that brings about the new change, or the new shift, or the new world.

We were part of, we lived this whole dynamic of what was designed, and now that ends. And as it ends, we let go. And as we let go, we then move on into this space that’s an emptiness, and a nothingness, and we work from there. 

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The Chemistry of the Divine

divinity-0This dream delves into the deepest levels of imagery, bringing to light the struggle of our divine nature versus our physical reality. In this, Jeane is shown that by maintaining her divine connections, and letting go of her personal involvement and reactivity, she gains a greater capacity for handling the dual aspects of our existence. In the same way, we also struggle to balance the masculine and feminine energies within each of us. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: All I remember of my first dream is it felt like there was some kind of energy bound up in my whole stomach, but it was like a formula. There was like a tension or a formula that had been put there, and it’s like I have to go get the formula on how to release that. 

I didn’t particularly like it, but there was a certain way it had to be released so I had to go get the formula from someone on how to release that. I didn’t particularly like it, but that was just the way it was. Then I had a second dream.

John: A person bounds up the energy in their stomach when they hold something in a worry or concerned way, and they’re already, by nature, pulling something down and through and holding it.

Jeane: Just before I woke up I had this brief dream that I’m like visiting his [the teacher’s] house and the house that he’s in was fairly small, and there are, not young kids but, you know like kids that are like in their teens or something coming and going, and he was cleaning his table. And at one point when he has walked away I reach over and pick up something and I clean a spot on the table that he’d missed.

And then I kind of almost start to apologize for it, and I said, “I’m sorry, but it’s like once I start doing something I get a little compulsive about it.” And he laughs because he’s a little bit the same, almost like, well, don’t you think I understand that? Because he can be a little the same way. 

And then it seems like I’m going to go help the kids take some stuff to school, and the school is in this kind of, it’s almost like it’s in a building where there’s a meeting room in the basement of the building, but it’s not really like a school building. It’s like it’s actually built into the earth or something.

And the kids want to take some things to their meeting room in school, so I’ve already been in the room once. I get there and I open the door, but I see there’s already some kids hanging out in this like lounge room. So I back up a bit, but I just want to help his kids get the things in that room that they want. 

I think there were some Christmas presents or things, plus I am trying to think about, I think I have drawn his daughter’s name for Christmas, so I’m trying to scope out what she wants, too, at the same time, because there was something she wanted that she didn’t get, and I’m trying to figure out what it is.

And what I’m doing then is the things that they want to take into the room, I’m helping pass them into the room so the boys that are there can pull them the rest of the way in. I’m doing that, rather than maybe going in to what I see as the kids’ hangout. 

Then someone at the right of me they have something that’s kind of awkward, like it has to be bent to get in, and I’m kind of looking at, how do they make that fit into the room? But the boys in the room seem pretty helpful as far as how you’re going to do anything. 

John: Well, in the first dream about what you do in terms of holding it like a knot in the stomach, or like an ulcer, is that you don’t have the personal involvement. That’s the way you do it.

If you have a personal identification, and you’re carrying it, and your mind is spinning and everything, then it gets all jammed in the stomach. It isn’t held properly. It works its way into a condition in which you’re not able to facilitate the connection. You tear the body up because you’re not holding it.

You’re meant to hold it in a capacity that recognizes something that is incredible at a depth. This is like a very good information dream, because you’re meant to hold it at a quality that has a depth to it, that goes into the heart. And if you strictly hold it in the body, and you’re jamming it into the body, which is what people do in the outer world is they push things, they take the concerns and the weight of things and they take it personally into the body, and it can create ulcers and stuff like that.

They’re functioning more like a human being, rather than using the divine principle of putting things and relating to things in the heart from a way that recognizes the deeper quality that is going on. And so when you’re able to put something into the heart, then when you’re cleaning something, or absorbing the condition of something, you have a meticulousness that feels wonderful because what you’re doing is you’re taking something and putting it in, bringing it to an end.

If you have this as an anal-retentiveness, and you’re looking at it as if you’re going to screw up, or be personally held accountable, or carry in other words this quality of guilt or something, then you’re not really putting it in the heart, you’re jamming it in a place that goes into this fiber and the mannerism of your cellular tissue, and it tears you up.

So a human being who pulls something of a divine light, or quality, into them is able to work with an aliveness and a heartfulness that frees themselves up. This is a very deep dream. You can take in and absorb just anything like that because you’re recognizing truly where it comes from, rather than having the neurosis and defense mechanisms of yourself that puts the blows upon the physical. And thus, when you see the deeper meaning behind things, you don’t have the negative effect getting placed upon the body.

So a person when they’re getting more conscious is learning to recognize the divine principle, the heart, and the meaningfulness behind something that is going on. And you have to know how to do that, or you have to start doing that, in order to experience the deeper depths inside yourself.

Well, to begin with, of course, you suffer because you don’t know how to do that, and you tend to take things too literally. And you have the anguish and whatnot that gets intensified. And you make your life more miserable and, in that regard, you tear the body up.

But if you take the stuff in terms of the deeper meaning of what’s going on to heart, you actually awaken and release the chemistry of the divine imbedded into matter. You release that, and it flows out, and this is the appropriate way of absorbing things.

A person who takes and knows how to experience the energetic vibration and release, or clear, that into the heart is like opening up a, it’s almost a joyous, almost a blissful thing to do. But a person who despises, or has a judgment, or a reaction, or attitude towards what is taking place, because it startles or affects some sort of personal cognition about themselves, they’re tormented. They’re torn up inside; they crack.

There is a limit to what they can take on. Their physical nature can’t handle it. So when you’re able to take something to heart in a proper way, then you’re able to give something to the depths of the heart.

In other words, you have an insight then in terms of what is needed, in terms of what is meant to awaken, and so you’re able to relate to that. You’re not guessing. In other words, you’re not acting from the standpoint of a neurosis where you feel a guilt or something, you should do this, sort of thing.

No, you in your intertwined, merged essence automatically know and, even though that dream looks like you’re talking about something separate, there is no separation. You’re relating to the interconnectiveness of something, the aliveness of the interconnectiveness and you give to that, or you touch that, which is kind of a way that the dream is, in a sense, repeating what I just said. It’s using that symbolism and that imagery to show that that is what you’re actually doing.

If you’re able to purely do this, you don’t tear the body up. You tear the body up to the degree to which you carry some sort of reactivities, or fail to bring a kind of grounding down appropriately so that it goes into awakening the centers of a Wholeness and an interconnected, intertwined nature. 

It’s when you don’t do that, it’s when even though you understand that it’s when you absorb things that are over the top, it’s like say you’re trying to do something in the outer, feeling that this is a compelled duty, or something that you have to do, but it’s not coming from a depth within that is awakened, which is guiding it, but it is coming from a cognition or mental center of yourself – as if this is where you need to be placing your focus and attention, that being a type of spiritual illusion then, because it’s not linked from the intertwined connectivity that speaks through you.

Then you will tear your body up. That’s the fine line. It’s a very deep dream. What you’re doing is you’re describing the principle here. First of all, in order for you to connect and open up the divine, you have to clearly understand the difference between the feminine energy and the masculine energy. And it’s the masculine energy that brings the seed down that awakens something, that causes something to happen.

If the feminine is feeling self-conscious, as if she has something more that she needs to do, she is actually acting out of her role, and you can tear yourself up then if you’re doing that because you can then feel that you’re inadequate or something in some capacity, and start trying to do masculine things.

So the masculine that awakens in you has to awaken almost as a protective, as an enhanced, as a fluid part of yourself. You don’t use the masculine to make the feminine, in other words, it’s not a tool that takes and the makes the feminine nature an extroverted power. 

It always stays in an introverted way. It’s the masculine that’s used to awaken something as an aliveness. In other words, you’re acknowledging why it is. This little part can go all the way back to your very first dream, in which you feel something as a lump in the stomach, you know that there is a way to proceed that is fluid and conducive to your unfoldment.

In other words, you know what to do about that lump in the stomach. Well, if you indulged in some sort of self-conscious way of having to be something, in this regard or that regard, because of masculine conceptualizations that you were taking in too literally and it was distorting your feminine nature, then you would develop a lump in the stomach.

The masculine is something that has the subjective role, but it is not something that the subjective takes and tries to rearrange themselves to become. She stays subjective. She stays with the ability of being able to be in this merged essence, awakened by masculine energy, but not taking and putting herself into where she has to utilize the aspects of masculine energy, so that the feminine develops her own set or dynamics of trying to control, which is a masculine principle.

Because if she does that, then she starts to go into the personal and she will tear herself up and have that lump in the stomach. It’s a very, very interesting deep dream because the whole quality of this dream is you are addressing an issue that has, you might say, as its premise the idea that as you go further and further on this path, the body gets torn up. And when you’re higher in the consciousness, the body can tend to be more infirm.

And if that is so, when there actually is something that you aren’t quite properly handling, or conducting yourself in accordance with, that havoc is taken out on the body. But when the light awakens in the way the light is meant to awaken, and you’re in connection with that, and in flow with that, and your heart is in tune with that, and there’s a joy in that, then your body isn’t really torn up. 

It’s torn up when you have the imbalance, the notions that still have to do with the personal, that you act as if they have some role that has to be played, and you give that credence, then that is what tears the body up.

Very deep principle you’ve dealt with there. You actually dealt with a type of confusion that exists; that concept can easily be felt as a way it works, and there is something about that that is true of course, but it’s true only because there is a mannerism or something that still has an element of itself on a personal mannerism in the world that it is not letting go of.

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