At An End

sunset_purpleIn This image, John feels himself enter into a quiet space – leaving the noise of everyday life behind. Yet even though this quiet space is beautiful, he struggles with trying to handle it and, in doing so, turns to creating a noise so that he will feel more comfortable. In the same way, we often cling to what is known and familiar to resist what is new and unknown. Yet that is a set back that we can no longer indulge in. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So in the meditation dream, to begin with I see myself in kind of like an ordinary world. And in the ordinary world, there is the usual ambient sounds that exist that are part of manifestation and life around you, and those are created by things that are just in the outer, and any noise and whatnot like radios and stuff like that exist that are man-made, and you just kind of to begin with take that into account in a way that keeps you in manifestation and holds you back.

And you do the best you can and you proceed with all of that commotion and all of that going on around you and then, at some point, it’s like you go through a space, or that there is a space that you enter into, and in that space the sound goes away.  

It’s like going into a house was kind of another sense that I had about it, in which the ambient sound and the noise and everything in manifestation just seems to like kind of go away, so it’s like going into a house, or going into a space. And the quietness, and the stillness of that, is such that because you’re accustomed to the ambient sound and noises and everything from where you were, this can be kind of hard, and so you may need to do something to still denote some action, or motion, or movement when you’re in this space where there is an emptiness or a nothingness.

And this is where a person is, in a sense, kind of overwhelmed by the light, because if you weren’t, you’d be able to sit in this space. It’s actually a very wonderful space and, when you’re in it, it’s incredible. But whatever it is that you do in that space is intensified. You don’t have the ambient sound and the other commotion and whatnot that just kind of keeps you in an amnesia.

And so whatever it is that still is going on creates some sort of reverb, or pattern, that you do because you’re not able to sit in the total emptiness and the total nothingness, to kind of make it more palpable or something. It’s a strange thing of making it more palpable.

And so, when I’m in this house, or in this space, I have all kinds of different things that are very, very subtle that I might fall back and find myself doing. I might suddenly indulge in the idea like there’s a mystery that has to be solved. It’s as if I’m doing a word thing or something, and I will think of all the ways to orchestrate the word “pear.” 

There’s pear P E A R, and then there’s paring, which is P A R I N G, and I go through all of this in order – not that I’m actually figuring anything out, it’s to be able to be palpable in this state in which there is total silence and a total nothingness and a total peace and a total calm. 

When I was in the ambient state where there was the conduct of things, and the noise of things, going on this kind of took and in its amnesia of not being so intense, but when I first went into this house or room or space that was so totally quiet, I noticed it was extremely wonderful and what a relief from all of this other ambient noise, but it was something that was almost too pristine to handle.

So I did this sort of thing and I did other things in the house. If it wasn’t that, it was some other little peculiarity that enabled me to maintain some sort of echo of familiarity because sitting in a state where nothing is going on is just not quite what I’m capable of doing.  

In other words, this was the paradox I still have in terms of a mannerism when I’m within a vacuum, in other words, not quite being able to absorb the space.

This fits with your dream from the standpoint that if you’re not careful with this you can develop a neurosis or reverb to such a degree that you can develop a knot in your stomach, because in this state you’re trying to still respond in the same way having some racket or something or something still warbling.

And when you’re in a state that’s this pristine and you have a little bit like that, it’s a very strange spin. You can see this often times in people that if you speed certain people up and if they’re unstable, or mentally off or something, they can’t get out of it. They can’t get it to cycle through and they go into kind of a schizophrenic or some little reverb that goes over and over again and that torments the heck out of them. They can’t find the relief, they can’t find the flow, and it could put a knot in their stomach, it could tear them up.

You’re meant to be able to handle this greater state. One of the other things I did was I would mumble things like one, three, three, three, three and one, three, three, three, anything to break the silence and create some sort of reverb orientation back to the old physical world of familiarity, of ambient sound and common sensation or whatever, because I still have my synaptic linkage to manifestation.

So to begin with, when you go into a space like this, it’s just momentary, and what happened is this space came along like a detour to how one is ordinarily in this ambient space. It’s like a detour. It’s like a time out. It’s like a shift. It’s like something that I just fell into and it’s part of the path.

You don’t keep taking out ambient sound and ambient sound, and you don’t keep noodling this little by little, still holding onto something in the outer. You have to, at some point, go through this and just let go of all of that. But my way of going through it was it was a little much, and I had to figure out how to keep something familiar going on, even though I can’t tell you what that was about and what purpose that served, other than the fact I suppose it gave me some sort of degree of whatever I still needed – in terms of a familiarity.

And I’m not used to being able to be in the space where I totally am in a state of nothingness – and that should be my real home. What is going on is, of course, I’m experiencing an emptiness. I’ve gone into an emptiness that I’m not able to necessarily fully handle, or recognize, or a nothing but nothingness which was the shift from the senses that are in the outer, and everything that holds the outer together is a particular way, and that is not in this space.

In other words, this neurosis, and the stuff that we carry, and the ambient noise that we identify with, that is what holds the old world together. We identify with that. We have those things that we insist on having. We designed this era of time that we currently are living in. We designed it this way.

Now that era of time has come to an end, and we’re having to let go of all of that, we’re having to look at what we design and take responsibility for it, in terms of it having gotten to a point of decay. And that I suspect this is true of everyone because of the oneness, but then one has to then, having let go, then hand it off to a cleaner vibration that then takes on the seed that brings about the new change, or the new shift, or the new world.

We were part of, we lived this whole dynamic of what was designed, and now that ends. And as it ends, we let go. And as we let go, we then move on into this space that’s an emptiness, and a nothingness, and we work from there. 

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