The Holdout

treesIn this imagery, Jeane is chaperoning some young girls, and trying to keep them all together. Yet when a rift arises between the girls, it sends Jeane off on a tangent of missed connections. Like in her prior dream (see Ready to Merge), everything is trying to move forward together, yet that progress is delayed by some aspects of her that still cling to the old ways. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: In this next dream I seem to be kind of like a chaperone who takes or drives around some adolescent girls who are still in high school, kind of close to graduation. And at one point, when I take them over to the house with some friends where everybody else is hanging out, those friends have suddenly kind of turned on them and won’t let them come to the party, or be with them anymore. 

I don’t know why, just some kind of probably petty fight. I’m kind of shocked because even the mothers support this, like if their daughters aren’t speaking to those friends anymore, then these friends can’t come over, and I find that kind of shocking.

But several of them seem to be in this position, and they’re the ones that I’m looking after so that’s where I put my attention. But there are like some events coming up which all the kids from the school are involved in, the boys and the girls, so they’ll be there even if there’s some tension with the other girls because it’s just something everybody goes to. It’s a small town.

And I’ve taken them to one of those events, and they’re sitting up in some bleachers, and the boys are there too. And so, when we’re up in the bleachers at first it’s kind of like we’re chatting with some of the boys, and one of the boys starts teasing me because I didn’t know that there was a mine in town, and that that was actually where they all get summer jobs. 

And it’s the best paying job around, and I realize I am kind of new in town. I know a little bit about mines because my grandfather worked in one, but he’s kind of right. I didn’t know that that was, you know, because I kind of say, “Well that must be where you guys all work during the summer.” And they say, “Yeah, because that’s the best paying job.” 

It’s even where a lot of them work when they graduate. It’s a small town. Then all the kids go down to some event, but I realize I have to go back to the bleachers because the girls had left some of their stuff behind.

But when I go back and I climb up to where the girls were, I see there are some things that they have left with notes that must be things that belong to the girls that aren’t speaking to them anymore, so I realize that I’m probably not supposed to take those things with me, but then, of the rest of the things that are left there, which are theirs? And I’m trying to sort that out when I wake up.

John: Very complicated dream. When you’re in the bleachers with the girls, your presence is there to such a degree, and your focus and your attention is there to such a degree, that some part of you knows that the girls are connected – meaning all parts of yourself in this particular state are connected to the place where you need to be.

You somehow kind of know that, but it’s as if there’s a type of amnesia that’s set in, or some sort of peculiar gap that almost, in one regard, doesn’t make any sense at all because you know that everyone, and every part of yourself, is intended to be in this space. But some little tangent seems to exist that runs through and through the nature of things. 

It hasn’t been dealt with, or resolved, because even though you’re convinced that everything is included, in terms of the connection, you’re surprised to note that there is this one tangential thing – that is even supported by the mothers, and the mothers means that this runs through and through. It hasn’t yet been addressed or resolved.

It connects from the subtle, all the way to the inner essence and sophistication. For some reason this hasn’t been looked at, hasn’t been dealt with. It runs through and through, which means that some part of yourself is still holding to something that you consider yours. And everyone, everything, all parts of yourself, that you feel are something that you need to embrace or have a connection that extends out in terms of your overallness, over all of that, in this particular town or space that you’re in, all has the same quality of what they consider is theirs in terms of their job, that is a deviation.

Some part of you recognizes that this is caused by something, something that got missed, or didn’t get properly taken into account, and thus you race back to the auditorium, or this space inside, where all of this is naturally intertwined and connected. 

And it just doesn’t quite work that way, because the part of yourself that is tied into looking at what is theirs, which is still holding out in some capacity, not only can you not find that there to redeem that into the presence of your being, your overall being, but that has set in motion something else that also needs to be sorted out and addressed.

And so where you think that, OK, it’s pretty easy, it’s just a matter of going back and taking the Wholeness, and establishing that Wholeness, when you go back you find out that even though at some point in time it seemed like it was all intertwined and connected, now that has drifted a bit. You can’t find it there. And there is something else, that also is just like another kind of duality.

In other words, you were relating strictly to yourself in terms of honing and polishing a particular quality to be, but then when you go back and act as if, okay, I have been doing this it’s just a matter now of taking some haze off of it, or something, to have everything on track. And that’s when you go back and you realize that there still exists some other reflection, which is like a type of separateness, which even has the sense that it doesn’t belong in the equation of things – and it hasn’t been resolved.

Isn’t that interesting? What a dream. It’s kind of a strange dream isn’t it?

It means that you’re doing something, that you have some sort of pattern about that you should know better, and that you think is insignificant, and that you can easily go back and address, but it has put you into a position of having to account for, to take a responsibility, and the reflection that this creates that is in the way from you being properly intertwined and connected as you’re meant to be.

And you’re meant to be intertwined and connected so that you can go somewhere with all of this. And you had thought that you had gotten this up to a point where everything was incidental, only to find out that you’re still carrying this blindsided-quality. It’s some sort of little holdout, which you still consider yours, that hasn’t been fully taken into account and absolved into the Wholeness.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: The Holdout

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