In this dream imagery, Jeane feels a sense of despair. As John points out, this could be felt on two levels: in outer life, as a sense of needing to do or be something that provides a balance, and on the inner level where a need for a deeper connection is always triggering a feeling of longing. In both cases what is being pointed to is a way to hold an inner space that eases the emptiness. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
Jeane: I’m not certain of the sequence of these dreams. It seems like in the first one, I’m a young woman and I’ve gone into a city, and I’m at an apartment, and there’s three or four places where people are sleeping, like an old boyfriend is sleeping on the couch, and then there are different beds around, and I don’t really have a place to sleep. So I have to go over and kind of lay with my back to the old boyfriend and sleep there.
And the next day, when I get up, I go to somewhere where there are also people that I used to know from the past, and I’m trying to hook up with someone I knew, but I can’t quite seem to make that connection.
So I go back to the apartment and I’m changing clothes, and it feels like I’m almost feeling a certain level of despair from not being able to hook up, because I feel like I have to go back to where the gathering was.
And I’m dressing in such a way as to maybe attract a certain amount of attention. I feel like… it’s almost like I really want to make the connection that I wasn’t making earlier, but I feel like if I miss it that I’ll be at the kind of mercy of whatever connection I do make there – and that makes me feel a certain amount of despair.
John: It’s a dream about recognizing that you need to take in, or experience, a particular vibration in order to be in balance with yourself. There’s both a higher octave of it, and there’s a lower octave of it.
The higher octave of it is like if you’re in the presence of a teacher, or a particular person that holds an attunement, that that can be something you can experience, or take in, and absorb as part of the environment and mannerism that you’re in. And you recognize, of course, a dependency upon that.
The lower octave of that is the pattern you often see in relationships, where a person goes around and tries to fill holes and wounds inside of themselves, especially one that’s been in multiple relationships that have blown apart, or broken up, and then the dependency aspect gets strewn out.
And so the idea becomes somewhat vampirish even because they can’t seem to function without something like that – without those kinds of conditions, because they’ve gotten so adapted or accustomed to have them that they more or less cringe. Well, cringe isn’t the right word, but the whole pattern of reaching out, or probing out, for something like that, it has a whole appalling manner to it. That’s the lower octave.
The higher octave, of course, of a dream like that, one could be bringing it on because of the sense that there’s something that they need to experience that they’re not experiencing because of patterns that they have during the day. And so this could go on and on. You could be beating yourself up that you’re not doing something that you should do, that you know that you want to do.
And then, as a consequence, that will trigger a dream like this, too, because what you’re basically saying is that you’re not experiencing what you know that you need to experience, that takes and stabilizes or gives yourself a particular value.
In other words, that can even be like a type of middle octave, saying it that way. It’s like feeling, for example, that if he doesn’t take and go down to the health club everyday he’s going to get depressed, because he just realizes that he needs to fill his life with a certain degree of activity or otherwise his illness and such catches up with him.
So, you have a dream that’s covering this kind of… you’ve apparently indulged yourself in some fashion, the way you’re beating up on yourself for something, and/or are feeling remiss about something that is making you feel that you have something empty in your life.
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