These dream images follow on John’s process from yesterday (see A Precious Light). Through them, he is confronted with the same fundamental issue: how can we live a spiritual life in the midst of all the distractions of the outer world? Yet that is exactly the process we face: being able to hold our higher-self vibration while we engage in the physical realms. It may not be easy, but we have our lifetime to figure it out as best we can. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
John: Even though it felt like it was an awful long night, I had incredible dreams. It was just one right after another but I was refusing to fill them out because I knew that it was almost like I couldn’t do justice to them because they just kept going and going like flash, flash, flash. And in my sleep I am compelled to notice all kinds of things that I do to contend with the conditions I am in.
I walk real fast, just like I drive real fast when I’m out there like this. I walk real fast through the casinos and everything, and around people abruptly – as if this will keep me from having to contend with the surrounding environment, as if I’m holding my space that way.
What I see over and over is the need. If I am in a building, I will notice that the place next door is a broken down, empty shell with no roof, sides, collapsed, and everything. It was just thing after thing after thing like that. There’s no quarter that I can be in.
The meaning is that I am struggling with coping. I am overwhelmed by the outer mannerisms that are in a state of energetic disarray. I have been isolating myself from this in order to cradle the inner aliveness.
To go out into life, I am hammered with what I call east/west energy that affects the heart because this is what manifestation is identifying with and projecting into life as their idea of how to cope.
This is a state and way of being by mankind which goes around and around in circles, and is lost in this east/west projection because it doesn’t have the north/south to perceive. It seals itself from that, and so it doesn’t have that part of themselves that’s awakened.
The differences between the north/south and the east/west is, well that’s the nature that everyone needs to figure out how to juggle, is the difference. Just to try to juggle the difference can slowly bring you into pulling this back together. To go into the midst of manifestation I’m going to mutably have to contend with it working like that. You can go so far inside, but you have to come back into the outer.
There comes a time when I must confront the outer conditions. In spiritual jargon it is called dark energy and now, of course, I see dark energy in all kinds of ways. East/west energy is dark energy. Going to the spiritual north is kind of a good way of going into light, and you could use lots of spiritual illusions to just kind of push yourself along.
If I do not do this, remaining content with what is going on in manifestation, then you don’t get rounded because it’s the east/west energy that creates the depth perception to things. It creates the understanding. Otherwise, you stay more in a bewilderment. And the condition I’m in that is easiest to accommodate is this north/south side of myself, but it keeps me out of creation.
It keeps me out of manifestation. It keeps me safeguarding myself. The depth perception balance and heartfelt grace come from being able to handle the east/west energy and, yes, you kind of get dumbed-down and lost, and you lose maybe a certain step or aspect of vibration when you do that, but you have to do that to the point where you don’t get lost.
Reporting what I go through is part of the redemption, maybe also part of an avoidance. I seem to be part of a process that aspires to an inner vibration that lifts my consciousness, but then turn around and go into the outer to see if I can see what is there – in terms of the inner touching the outer, and the outer being a reflection of the inner.
At this time I leak a lot and do not hold the energy of the heart with enough presence so that it is able to shift back and forth. Instead I seem to be taking a beating, and when I come back I have to restore the north/south connection to simply go back and forth doing it over and over and over again. It’s exhausting, yet I guess I have to do it again.
To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Pulling It Back Together