Stigmas From the Past

Higher_Self- Melen-deviantartJohn’s dream has echoes of the issue raised by Jeane’s dream yesterday (see Going Back to Go Forward), in that what he already has, which can be viewed as his past, seems insufficient. Yet his efforts to get more face impossible problems. Wanting to connect more to his past can be seen as a type of indulgence, which is the opposite of letting go to that which wants to unfold. We all face these issues, and only conscious awareness of them can take the sting out of their negative effects on our progress. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: All that shifting and whatnot is similar to my second dream in that, in the second dream, it starts off where I have a greater sense of the whole of something. It’s almost as if I have more of the components than I realize already, but don’t necessarily know it and think that there is something else that is still needed.

And so I’ve been offered the opportunity to go over and am allowed to buy that, and I go over when I know that the person who has these items, of which I carry the bulk of it already, but am not satisfied, I go over when this person is away.

And it’s a strange set of conditions in which, when I’m over there, I essentially take whatever is there. And he has it priced outrageously – it’s not worth what he’s trying to price it for. And it’s not as much as I thought it was at all. 

And when I go over there I realize I’m not so sure how it is that I’m going to move all of this because I’m not very confident in this idea of moving things. It’s one thing for me to know what needs to be in the package, it’s another thing to put together the pieces and the components.

Well I’m lucky in that I’m supported to some degree in this process as there are others that show up there to help me. And so I can’t recall just how much I have already, that I’m not looking at now because I’m thinking I have to have the rest.

And what I have is probably 80 or 90 percent, and so when I see this now there are only five items. And the circumstances are that I can move these five items, and if I can remove these five items in one fell swoop I’ll be able to pull it off and not have to pay the outrageous price.

But, if I can’t, then I have a problem, and probably can’t have any of it. And I can’t come and go because when this person comes back, that’s it. And of course the person is going to be detained longer than I had originally expected, but still I have to move it all at this one go.

And so my assumption at first glance was one, that I thought that there was more, and two, that this shouldn’t be a big deal. But I’ve never shifted or moved this sort of thing back into a larger component of things that I already have; I had never done something like that before.

And so they’re like things that are on a wall, at the same time they’re like vehicles, and at the same time they’re like mini-warehouses and they hold things. And my assumption was that I could just hook onto them and pull them, but I end up realizing that when the first one that I start with I’m supposed to leave the shell behind and I can take the contents, and so I’m loading the contents on what looks like something similar to little wagons or flat rail cars or something.

And that I haven’t even taken all of those contents out when I realize that this is going to be all I can really carry or move away. And someone else shows me then if there were a means of pulling all of this, and holding it all together, how I could hook up to the next one, well I realize: this is hopeless. This is not going to work.

This is the dream that’s similar to the dream that you indicated, in which you have the shift of things. The initial similarity is like in your first dream, or in the first part of your dream, where you have a voice or something, the talking that is able to come through, which indicates that there is hope and possibility to something taking place. 

That’s like the sense that I have, I hear something, but do I hear it correctly? It’s garbled in some sense because, as in your dream, the result comes out not quite right. What I have a recollection of in the past is probably stigmatized as well, although I don’t recognize that it’s stigmatized.

I instead think that the past, or what I already have, is probably more than I can chew or bite off as it is, or is sufficient enough as it is. But I’m not willing to accept that, and act like I need more. And that might be the issue in my past that has to be resolved. 

In that regard, that’s your past in your dream where you had to step back and go back in time to where whatever the mannerism or stigma was that got developed that keeps you from being able to proceed or process forward.

You then shift as you come back from that to realizing that now you have somehow made the step and can proceed and go forward with what you know to be so, you know, that you can make it work.

I realize that if I try to take these five items I will foul something up that is more important. I will create a stigma that I will feel slimed by the very process of taking these five items, or attempting or indulging myself to try to do that.

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