Game Theory

fractals99iHumans are always looking for ways to make things easier, or to avoid problems in some way. But we rarely understand the role that struggle plays in our development. Everything needs something to struggle against to expand its capabilities, just as animals adapt to change in their environment. We are meant to learn about ourselves, and to overcome that which limits us. In this sense, all our experiences show us something about ourselves – if we choose to see it. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So in my meditation dream I’m confronted with having to overcome a kind of a hurdle. It’s kind of a hurdle in terms of systems, in terms of how something functions. I’m always looking at things systematically and seeing how they unfold.

So the image in this dream is one in which I go forward, and where I’m going forward there are hurdles that have to be overcome. And so, I’m accepting that challenge because in the dream I’m even giving the various hurdles names.

And I wish I could remember the names I gave them because they were very good names, they were very descriptive of what you had to contend with in order to overcome them. And it’s as if each one denotes a barrier I carry within, which is standing in the path of going forward.

I also see this in the other direction as well, in other words in terms of breaking through something with the momentum in which something can open up and unfold, and I can also see it from the direction in which what has been can then fall apart.

So this is where I have broken through what had been barriers, and in having to be accountable, which means maybe something’s changing and it could be falling apart. So, in order to better understand this, it’s harder to understand it when you’ve broken through something and then are falling back.

And the reason why it’s harder to remember is when you’ve actually broken through something, you’ve broken through in terms of a level of the heart. When you’re falling back, the heart is falling out of the equation, and the mind and the senses are coming in. And so it’s almost like you’re dealing with two different planes or parallels, where one shifts in and the other shifts out.

And so I’m trying to reconcile this. So I try to create a marker, so that I can tell the difference between when I’m heart full and when I’m more mindful, because you use different centers, so it seems, or feels.

So what I do is I spill a little of the milk of my transcendent being, I spill it about, as if to create something as a reflective image, as if this will help me ground from losing the insight I’ve reached.

Just like we use symbolism in our dreams to try to understand how it is that the inner is coming in, in this particular case I’m in the transcendent coming back into the conditions of my ordinary, dense sense and physical nature. So I’m trying to spill a little milk so I can still see the thread, so I don’t get completely dumbed-down again.

What is interesting is that the dream practically takes the position, or is pointing out, it’s more than just takes the position, it’s pointing out that this is how the process works. And that in each stage of the process there are particular barriers. And that when a person establishes a particular motif that they have taken on, that this is something that is able to be understood from the way the inner energy unfolds.

In other words the oddities that you do all have a meaningfulness at a deeper level, even though you don’t get it, why it is that you have your habituations. So I find myself buying in to this – we’ll call it game theory – I find myself buying into or getting into this game theory in life.

I do this because it helps in accepting life’s conditions, so that they do not come across as always being over the top, because there’s a way of looking at things and you realize it’s just all vanity or stupidity.

So what I’m doing is I’m finding tools that enable me to zoom in on the inner process, based upon outer clues that are revealed. I realize that this is no substitute for being in touch with the inner vibration in its most subtle form, in which you know things energetically, in some sort of non-barriered inflective inner capacity.

However, this does help in accepting the switch points, where you go back into the physical then, or at least suggests potential means that can be denoted in the outer, in terms of understanding the outer footprint.

So these tools are grounding up to a point. It is grounding up to the point that it helps a person take on more personal responsibility. Without any tools to work with, the forces that are awakened within, which go out into manifestation energetically, without the tools they’re not very understandable or recognizable, and therefore not very manageable.

Manageable’s a tricky word because that’s where you then start to try to exercise power and control and then your deluded. But if you don’t, and you hold the rawness of the energetics, this is often referred to as a type of kundalini energy, which needs to be embodied or it will cause a collateral effect.

And so the tools are there to help handle that, so that you don’t flip-flop about so badly, and therefore you have a responsibility that you can catch up with. The problem with this aspect of the process is that there are consequences. In other words, in terms of catching up with this, you have to go through things that effect the heart – so there are consequences that hurt the heart, which seem to be a natural imperative.

In other words, everyone has something that they have to go through. You learn almost Pavlovian in that fashion, by what doesn’t resonate. So, in this system, such consequences seem to be an essential aspect in terms of us getting shaped into a more sincere, humble, grounded and, ultimately, more heart full person.

So, in terms of me looking at what I’m doing, it’s like I guess I’m helping to reconcile the efforts, as when asked the question, “What is going on?” The idea of asking that question and trying to denote it is like a crutch until I’m able to know this from yet a deeper connection within that even more deeply intertwines consciously the overall – in terms of everything that is happening.

When I’m asking the question, what is going on?, that could be a crutch because I’m still acting as if there are things that are distinguishable or separate-able. But the deeper answer to that question is it’s all intertwined. As so even the question then falls away because there’s nothing ever really going on. It’s all, ultimately, a stillness of past, present, and future, all at the same time.

So I must not rest upon the tools I have found, as if they are a quick fix in terms of the big picture. These tools are very temporal and hopefully will fall away when it is time to take a deeper inner step at becoming even more naturally intertwined.

Until then, these tools are like a psychological crutch that helps me to better handle the environment and myself in it. The danger is that of cracking up. in other words, if the energy is just thrown at you and you’re not able to ground it, or figure out a way to align it or sort it out, the danger is cracking up – which is what I fear and seek to defend against.

And what I mean by that is that if I am able to be at ease more naturally, in what would otherwise be a bewilderment, and by bewilderment I mean a setting in which things are too much for me, if I can find that thread, or that quality that grounds it, or a context or something, I might be better able to absorb the context of it all. That is, of course, if I do not get lost in the machinations of things.

So the interesting thing about the dream is that it’s showing that one’s going through the ups and the downs and the this and the thats of a process. And even though there are hopeless aspects and there are aspects that, in a certain way of approach, not make sense, there’s yet another way of systematically falling back on that and seeing something even more in terms of what is being indicated, or shown, or taught.

And that kind of showing and being taught or revealed, is taking a person into seeing how, no matter whether things are falling apart or opening up, how to be able to play in that realm, in terms of helping to go along with it, or to shape it in some small capacity. That’s the premise.

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