We often think of ourselves as one thing. But the truth of it is that we have many lives in us. We have a thinking life, an emotional life, a feeling life, the body life, and because of the way we are raised today these are often at cross-purposes. That’s why we often don’t follow through on efforts we thought we really wanted. One part of us might, but another may disagree. What this is saying is that to get where we want to go, we need to align all our lives to the same purpose. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
John: And so in the dream I have somehow secured, or arranged, or somehow have at my disposal a carrier that’s transporting my crates. I do not feel totally comfortable with the arrangement, however. The reason is because the guys who are on the carrier are all working hard to make things happen, and they’re all working as a team.
And by comparison, I am like an intruder or something, or I’m out of balance in that space – like a moocher. These guys pay attention to what they have to do to be on the carrier. I do not have this principle in common with them, I just assume I have a right to be on the carrier. And they are each working effectively to what is important to them, in some simple way.
Yet I am transporting not just this crate that I keep an eye on constantly, but a bunch of other crates that I do not have to pay any attention to because they are safe and secure in a cargo bay.
So because I dote on this crate, which has wrappings around it and everything to make sure that it’s fairly secure, so it’s not like somebody could go and just open it up, but I still keep it with me. The result of this is I don’t let myself simply settle back and appreciate and enjoy the journey.
And as the journey continues, as this vessel moves along, we pass places where there is a lot of whipped cream on a chocolate pudding, and as we pass by I just stick a spoon or something out into it, nobody else is doing any of this, but I am a little out of control.
And I just stick a spoon out into this and pile it on a part of the vessel. And over time I end up with more than I could possibly eat. And the other hands do not touch it. So I am at a loss explaining to them, let alone myself, why it is that I’m being so self-indulgent.
I am acting the whole way on this journey like I am entitled to even the hors d’oeuvres, plus special treatment whenever I have a whim. This keeps things a bit uneasy, because in that regard I do not fit in – because the others are all more responsible. But in a simpler sense, in a sense that I don’t pay attention to because I have the goods, and they pretty much are holding a focus, and attention, and a mannerism that keeps them part of this process.
I even have a place on this vessel that is comfortable and secure, I don’t have to worry about a thing. Yet I do not seem to be settling back appreciating my good fortune and going along graciously.
So the meaning is is the dream is suggesting that I’m carrying on in ways that are unnecessary. It is as if I do not know how good I have it. I keep acting as if that isn’t good enough, instead of fostering a presence that is solid and grounding for all to feel, I am instead relating to life as if the conditions are tenuous.
All of the lesser parts of myself remain focused upon some small aspect that is important to the journey, and do not relate to the superfluous conduct that is not at ease in the environment.
So what is interesting, as kind of as an aside to all of this, what is interesting about this dream is that it is the flip side to the dream I lost in meditation. In that dream I see myself as following a flow that is opening up that I am able to sense from within.
And what I sense there has a focus and attention that is important to some overall well being, even though I’m not able to put my finger directly upon what that is, based upon the fact that the tools I have in manifestation – the mind, the intellect and whatnot – don’t go there, they’re more slowed down in terms of grasping things. I simply trust in what I know to be true in some deeper capacity within.
The reason why I am having the contrast is because in every potentiality, even that which is destined, there is a dark side, or flip side, that is not graciously handled – which can jeopardize the intended possibilities. I am feeling the qualities of each so I know the distinction clearly.
And by knowing the distinction clearly then hopefully I will not jeopardize that which is intended. In my meditation dream I was able to pull out the basic approach clearly, but not the symbolic dream journey images.
In my sleep I reflected upon the deviation in my nature that is caused by an indulgence or a malingering of the environment I am in. Because of the contrast of these two states, I realize that I’m unfolding very slowly and subtly – the deeper heartfullness to it all is still in abeyance.
And then as the dream advances, I see myself trying to help these other parts of myself. In other words, back on the vessel are the other parts. But to begin with I just expected them to accept me, even though I was acting up in a way that would have been fine if I had just gone along for the ride.
But, no, I had that indulgent nature, or was dipping into the pudding. And so I’ve switched now to, so instead of the indulgence, trying to take what I have and extend it out. And so I’m trying to help these other parts of myself.
The dilemma I have is that it may now be too late, because they have left and I’m still on board the vessel. It was hard for me to wake up because this was so shocking: how do I do this now because now they’re no longer around?
The sense of trying to effectuate a change when life has moved on, has evolved, and I have missed the moment and lost the memo to what is to be, haunts me, as if this is coming from some sort of distant, long ago memory.
It is this memory, which I can’t quite pull out at this time, that seems to compel, or have a vibration to, in the background of my nature, in terms of seeking a resolution that is no longer possible given the passage of time.
So, what is this about? Because it has the sense of a futuristic foreboding.
To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Bringing the Parts Together