When You’re Estranged

Anna-'s Angel-12In this follow-up dream from the same night (see The Instant of Time), Jeane again finds herself with young children in a precarious situation. What is being shown is how her earlier effort to control the environment has now led to a greater disconnection. Still, the effort is being made to bring the elements (the young boys) back together into a safe place. If we consider that dream characters are like energetic connections, we can see how the unfolding scenario in these dreams explores how the only true safety we can find is within the flow of the whole. It is the connections that need to be kept safe, the rest will take care of itself. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: In the next dream it’s like I’ve gone to this mountain place and I seem to have about four or five boys that are under my charge. They’re about early teens, and my dad’s along somewhere, too. 

And when we stop at what looks like a mountain lodge, I actually found out it’s run by a woman who has prostitutes, and I think I’ve wandered away from everyone for a minute and looked in one of the rooms and find the ladies talking. 

She apparently trains them to be kind of other than how people normally are because she doesn’t want… it’s like she just doesn’t want them relating to the customers normally or something. 

Now because I stepped in and observed this, when I step back outside I can’t find anybody. So I first look for my dad. I go into this tavern. It’s a normal tavern, but then I see everybody in there is acting out sexually, and I can’t find my dad in there, so I leave. I think I must find my dad, but then I’m on a search for the boys and Dad’s faded a little into the background. 

And I find out the boys have all been gathered up and they’re on this bus, and it feels like the woman who runs the place is kind of helping me now. And there are some guys that have gotten this kind of large van or minibus, whatever, and they’re taking the boys somewhere. 

Well, I manage to catch them before they take off and they say they’re taking the boys to Costa Rico on a tour, and I tell them they can’t do that, the boys don’t have passports. They need to come with me – because I don’t know what they’re up to, and I don’t think they’re up to any good. And they say that, no, a tour bus doesn’t need passports. 

So meanwhile I’m trying to communicate nonverbally with the oldest of the boys to see if maybe we can do something, or we can take over the bus. I don’t know yet because they seem determined to take off, so I’m going to get on the bus so they don’t take off with the boys without me, but I’m working on what we can do to maybe stop the bus so I can get all the boys back. 

I think that’s when I woke up.

John: So the second dream continued the pattern of the first dream, where you were putting yourself in a condition that’s away from, or absolved from, a wholeness that you’re capable of taking on.

And, in this particular case, you had the issue of seeing a quality where there was a lifelessness, in terms of the overall expression, of a way of being that is depicted as the prostitute lifestyle. I mean there can actually be a prostitute lifestyle that can be alive and real, and you can be separate from that prostitute lifestyle in terms of the mannerisms and the characteristics of the density of that, but in this particular case you don’t have that. 

You have that dullness, and that dullness then is impacting a sense of what else is more real. And how do you catch up with that which is more real? Because there’s the whole sense that you need to go someplace, you need to be someplace, you need to be somehow, or in someway, different.

And in this whole vibration is a dullness that keeps that from happening. So you start off with that energetic which is jarred, or affected, or impacted, or deadened by a manneristic means upon which you have put yourself into looking at things and determining what is forming, in other words, an opinion, or a judgement, or a distinction. 

Now when you did this, can you remember if you did it on the basis of an opinion that you drew, or was it just a type of rejection?

Jeane: Even from what I heard them saying I guess yeah, I rejected where they were at. They seemed to help me sometimes.

John: Because somehow in this process of taking yourself out of a greater overallness, some part of this clicked yet because the dream is coming out of it, and what I’m trying to figure out is what was it about that that caused you to suddenly recognize? Was it because you were concerned about losing parts of yourself and you suddenly saw those parts being lost like you didn’t know how to deal with the four little boys anymore?

Jeane: Yeah, I needed to go find them.

John: And then all of a sudden in the process of the concern about figuring out how to deal, or to find those, or to approach those, that process then took you out of the condition and the trance you were in.

Jeane: Yeah, that’s probably true.

John: Because that condition was like a trance. In other words, it was a dumbing down. 

The first dream kind of depicted how you can dumb yourself down by trying to control, and shape, the approach that you have to the world around you, by taking and being in a state of protection and not necessarily getting too entangled in something that is too great for you to be able to handle. 

Even though a part of you knows that it can stand in the face of something like that and be okay, the other part of you doubts that, and so it retrenches, and so that leads to this kind of condition where you get lost from, or estranged from, a part of yourself. 

You’ve done this to the little girl and, as a consequence, you know, then the completeness that you need to have with the masculine is lost because you break yourself away from the continuity of a flow of something. 

When something is flowing and you’re standing in the presence of something that is flowing, and you know how to be, and how to rapport, and how to take that in with the feminine, it’s because you are also in touch with the seed aspect of something that comes through you, and awakens you, so that you know how to conduct yourself with the right knowingness that is necessary.

And in the second dream that is shown to be, when you have made the decisions like you’ve made in the first dream, then that takes you outside of how you need to be, in terms of the wholeness as a feminine, and therefore you do not have the linkage and the connection to a completeness of the quality of a little boy kind of masculine that is four little boys. And four is an indicator of completion.

And when you see the aghast scenario that you have created for yourself by having taken steps to conduct yourself in a more controlled way, when you see or sense somehow that this leaves you alienated, and you get to the point where you can’t stand the aghastness of the condition that you’re in because you’re alienated from being able to properly flow and make something real out of what is occurring in the environment around you, because you don’t have that which comes through and sets you in motion in a way so that you can handle all of that.

And that which comes through and sets you in motion is the little boy quality that then opens something up that sparkles again so that it flows, and so you can then stand in the face and embrace anything that exists, and observe whatever it is that exists, and not be touched by it which is the little girl quality. That’s where the two dreams kind of come together. 

You’re finding that you need to redeem yourself in the second dream, so the second part of the second dream is the recognition somehow or another that you’ve choked yourself and that you need to find those little boys and, when you do, this is what changes the whole octave of the vibration of the dream and causes you to come back into an aliveness with yourself again. 

So the first dream you are doing something that takes you away from how you need to be. Then, that puts you into an energetic state that is estranged, and then that energetic state that is estranged that which you see around as your feminine is actually prostitute-like, which means it does not link or connect or do what is necessary and needed that is part of what the feminine is all about, and that’s because it has somehow or another lost the connection to its means to properly flow and bring out all of the beauty of whatever the expression is in life. 

In other words, the image of the feminine is separate. It’s denied itself the quality of a realness that is a sparkle and flow that comes out from the feminine naturally. It’s denied itself the ability for that to come out because it has lost the connection to something that stirs and comes down and keeps that sort of stuff… causes that sort of stuff to awaken and flow. 

At least some part of you recognized that you had lost something, that you couldn’t settle for the shape that you were in, the rule that you were in, and that you had to find those little boys and in doing that, in the second dream, you were on this whole process of reemerging and reawakening and bringing yourself back. 

So that was an interesting process dream. It’s like going into hell and coming out of it, so to speak, if there is such a thing as a hell.

Jeane: Yes, it did feel like that.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: When You’re Estranged

Leave a Reply