John’s dream ties it all together (see When You’re Estranged) by showing how the changes that are afoot in life require an ability to be in life, but not part of it. If we are too caught up in outer life it pulls us away from our connections – which are our only true safety. We want to be open and able to help usher the changes in, through our life, inner into outer. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
John: In my dream, I started off almost as if I was in a kind of bewilderment because I had been just going and meditating or doing whatever I do there and going somewhere and having some sort of effect, but this time I was tending to think too much and whatnot. I wasn’t just automatically going somewhere.
But then something did happen and in the meditation dream I realized that an aspect of life that is important in terms of the uniformity, in other words, the way the cadence of things are… well, I guess the way to say it is there can be the appearances around one and that one can take and denote how everything is around you, and yet in denoting it I can tell that something doesn’t quite feel right.
Now I’m capable of kind of adapting to whatever there is around me, but I also know that that isn’t what it’s about, the adapting or figuring out how to get by, especially because I know and am aware that it just doesn’t feel right, which means that something is going to happen to turn everything topsy turvy.
And in the outer it still looks like there’s the seasonal effect, you know, where there’s things that you could put your attention upon that still gives you a norm or way of correlating with the outer, with the collective, but I can’t keep this up. I know better, that this is going to fall apart.
And so the stuff that happens around you draws your attention and can kind of keep you in a malaise, but then there’s the part inside of you that can tell that you’re not going to be able to get away with that much longer, that everything is changing, and that you need to bring yourself away from, and separate from that. And if you don’t, then you’re going to get caught in the chaos of that other that affects everything in its collective way, which remains trying to make the best out of appearances.
So in my mind’s eye I see in the outer that things are about to fall apart. I can see that in my mind’s eye, and I can see on the inner level, you know like the thing that I feel in my bones, I recognize the struggle that exists then to try to maintain this authority or quality of holding things together.
And so there’s a welling up inside of me of something that is about to be different, which I know is going to be memorable, that’s kind of like a contrast to the status quo – which somehow continues, which I know cannot just continue.
There’s going to be a decline, there’s going to be a taking away of all of that reliance, and the foreboding mannerism that is intensified in terms of how I am cycling at a depth inside of myself has me wary and even a bit worried that there’s going to be a near term breakdown. And the imaginable hope for good times, merriment, etc., is something… that quality that mankind kind of has to try to stay the course, I don’t expect that to exist much longer given how I sense inside of myself this approaching near term.
Well the problem is, is I don’t consider it my style or my nature to go with or be part of this breakdown. There’s something ghastly about it. I have this concept that somehow or another I’m part of the overall and the collective in which everybody is being affected. I almost want to take the abuse, and let the abuse and all of it happen to me just like it happens to everyone equally, because who am I to somehow or another have a sense of something different and then conduct or act or try to adjust myself accordingly?
So a part of me wants to stay in the amnesia towards that. I can’t because I’m seeing the coloring change. I mean I can’t deny what I’m seeing changing. It’s like there’s one way of looking at something and I could see all of the particularities of the way something is in all of its little components, and then there’s another way of looking at it and looking at how the particularity of the components has a color to it that means that it can’t work itself through.
When I see it in one color it’s like there can be a hope that life can somehow continue to go on, and so I have to then gauge and understand this in relationship to time. And so if I look at it in a very, very, very short-term, it can look like it’s still okay but doesn’t feel right and is unreal.
If I look at it in a way that takes into account something that has to emerge and that is different, it has all of the coloration of futility in terms of everything that I can see about it. So the dilemma of seeing this has a lot to do with how I’m able to conduct myself.
Somehow or another, I still am conducting myself as a part of the action of what is taking place and, as long as I tend to conduct myself as part of the action to what is taking place, I have this quality of a type of guilt from a standpoint that I have to somehow go through the blows of this breakdown.
Yet somehow deep within there is a knowingness that that doesn’t necessarily need to be quite like that. You observe it, you see it, you don’t deny it, you don’t push yourself away from it, but you have a point that is not caught, or captured, or inflected in this lower state vibration to the degree to which it is going to be occurring and everyone is going to be affected and relating and going back and forth yo-yoing back and forth.
You have to be coming from a different vibratory state in order to be part of something that is able to emerge and have a continuity that arises from how this other is coming to a head. If you take and you make what is happening out there the end all be all, as if it is some sort of end all be all, how is it possible that you can see something or be part of something that can emerge in a more wonderful sense?
So when you’re caught up in it, and you’re trying to noodle with it and play with it, and can see this side and can see a bit of that side, and know that there’s a crescendo coming, the key is to be able to be beyond the crescendo or you will be thrown around.
And the crescendo for you in your dream was all of the thoughts that came in. In other words, you were able to stand before that which is overwhelming, and there was a part of you that could just stand there and can look and could see that and could be okay and know that it could be okay.
But then there’s the other part of you that has to take some sort of precursory protection and in doing that is when you took yourself out of the context of being able to be part of what is meant to be, whatever that can possibly be. And once you take yourself out of what is meant to be, then you lose the continuity of the flow because you get scared and you get distrustful of what is perceptible.
And therefore there is the shift and the whole transmission of something that is meant to change and you can’t be part of that change. You’ve lost the linkage to the seed that comes through that brings through the completion that then is awakened inside of you as something more that is also there already imbedded in your ethers to be brought through.
You’re not able to do that because you have taken and reacted to something as it’s occurring. In my particular case I can be reacting to it in terms of notionalities and mannerisms, in terms of how I sword fight about it so to speak, or get entangled with it.
In your particular case you can take yourself out of it, and be absolved separate from it, when you suddenly see what it is but don’t know how to stand there and really see it, and really know that it can’t touch you. You take a step back and in taking that step back you dumb yourself down.
So that’s how the two come together. The masculine has its inabilities based upon feeling what’s happening in the bones as if that’s the seed coming down and through, but isn’t able to bring it to a balance and a cadence, which is the feminine characteristic.
And the feminine characteristic when confronted with the doom and gloom of an energetic vibration, which is that big wave or whatever takes and tries to pull back. And so that is a dumbing down in terms of the linkage of the feminine because it is able to handle and stand in the face of everything that is occurring and have something that flows through it that awakens it so that it knows the deeper meaning going forward.
And in the face of the masculine the masculine can feel in its bones that something is astir, but if it can’t find the balance of the overallness that the feminine has as a knowingness that is natural to her that creates the etheric overallness, the vibration where everything bounces off, the feminine has that, it needs the masculine input to come through.
If it protects itself it puts itself into a type of neurosis with the slightest little thing, the slightest little thing that it has to defend or step aside from and it becomes completely stupid and it becomes like the prostitute. It lives in a life in which it cannot recognize the principle of what is meant to be going on. It’s just going through some sort of peculiar motion.
It has lost the linkage of something that keeps it completely involved in the fullness of everything, and so it cannot be affected by anything. It only pretends that it can be affected by things and that pretending that it can be affected by things keeps it from being able to link, and be in touch, with the qualities of a completeness that flows through as the masculine that awakens the feminine that causes this whole emergence of something that is so much more.
So that the transitioning and the flow and everything that happens is always okay and is always a part of a process. In other words, it becomes part of a whole bigger dynamic, and the fluidity of that bigger dynamic, if it has the courageousness to be able to take on everything and accept everything that there is, and stand in the face of everything that there is, and be okay with that because it has this trust.
That’s how the feminine or wholeness can be there is because this other is just naturally there and then there is nothing that can touch it.
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