Losing Heart

2771048_f520A constant thread along any spiritual path is the heart connection. That’s because being connected with creation is not an intellectual thing, it’s a feeling thing – because creation is a living organism. So no matter where we may find ourselves on our development journey, we must keep a connection through the heart, through the feeling life. That’s how we keep ourselves from getting off-track, or lost. The heart connection keeps us homing in on our ultimate destination.

(At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: The earliest part of my dream, the only thing I remember is kind of going through a basement area in a complex and people are going in and getting clothing, the right kind of outfit that matches and they wear.

But it feels like every time I come by, I don’t really have time to try on the clothing. I think the last time I go by I pick something up and I realize it’s the right size, but I’m still not going to have time to try it on. I think it’s kind of orange in color, orange and white. 

Then in the main part of the dream I seem to be staying in this fairly large complex. I may even be teaching a class, but it’s almost like in one of those really large estates that’s run by a dark-haired woman. 

Some storm that had been going on has kind of broken and I realize it’s time to leave, but I also realize the lady that runs the castle or the large estate, she really never likes it when anybody leaves. It’s always going to be too soon in terms of her time.

And so she has her staff lined up out on the lawn and I’m looking towards where they are, and I know that I’m leaving and I’m leaving with some other people. And I’m kind of sucking it up because I know if she’s out there on the lawn she’s going to make it a little bit harder because she really doesn’t like people leaving that well. 

The impression I have that followed up on that was there’s something that I’m given as I’m leaving. It’s almost like maybe it fits in the mouth, but it really has to do with people and how they’re positioned, and how something goes forward. And someone else is expressing the concern about that, but I’m explaining that maybe because I had the implants or things were configured a little differently for me it will be okay. 

It’s like there’s a certain way they’re used to seeing it, but I know it’s a little different right now. That’s the best way I could remember that.

John: There is something occurring in the general overall and you no longer have time to indulge in the usual ways that you have been able to indulge, or go about things in the past.

So, in other words, it has to do with the fact that one’s attention has to be placed slightly differently now in that you can’t take the energetic that you naturally feel and direct it into activities and such like you had been able to do in the past because you don’t have the time to do that. 

Something has changed that quickly that the mannerisms, and the traits, and the perspective and the viewpoints and the way you see something unfolding – you have to drop all of that because there’s no time to be in that mannerism anymore. It has, somehow or another, passed one by. 

It’s not that it has necessarily passed one by, but it’s obsolete in relationship to what’s about to happen. 

The matriarch or the domineering thing is the pattern and mannerism that you carry about yourself, and that pattern and mannerism holds you back, keeps you from being able to make a shift, or from being able to progress, or to go somewhere or, as the thing indicates, to leave. 

In the first part of the dream it’s indicated that you have to do something because you’re out of time. You can’t keep hanging on to whatever it is that has been something that would be your normal way of putting your attention, and thinking that that’s okay. In other words, maintaining the maintaining, so to speak. That isn’t going anywhere. That can’t happen even. 

In the second part you’re shown that you’re having a problem shifting or going somewhere because you have this domineering quality side that’s like a domineering matriarch that’s holding you into having to be a particular way or something, holding you back. 

And so you feel that, and that is keeping you from taking and stepping out on yourself like you need to be able to do.

The danger when you have inner experiences is that you can become dependent upon them, and the danger of you becoming dependent upon them is you slowly shift to where that becomes part of your natural demeanor. 

In other words, you take and you conduct your life with this additional energy that you have, this additional balance that you think you have and, as a consequence, you lose or you lack a kind of graciousness that needs to be there naturally because you have been leaning upon the energy, the increased vibrational energy that is awakened inside of yourself. 

You’ve just kind of shifted. In other words, you’ve gone from one state of plight to another state inside of yourself where you have a greater quality of being, but that greater energetic quality of being is not what it’s about.

So you’re more speeded up, so you’re faster, so you have something more about yourself that makes life seem a little easier, and you’re just accepting that for what it is – and it’s not about that. In other words, it’s not about you becoming something slightly different than others. You can have that only if you can hold and maintain yourself. 

In other words, there’s something that’s gotten lost, a certain kind of heartfulness, a certain kind of graciousness, a certain kind of balanced demeanor, a certain kind of overall kindness, or something that has gotten lost in that one feels themselves to be more vibrant. 

And in this particular case, it’s like having taken on a demeanor as a consequence of what one has been able to experience inside. But one can carry a demeanor just because they cycle energy through them in a particular way that is slightly different than the way other people carry the energy coming through them, and one can tend to see themselves as different as a consequence of that, as blessed or as different.

And, if you do, then you have a whole other problem. The reason why it’s like that is that there is something that one is able to experience that really is invisible, that really cannot be communicated. And if it could be communicated, then it can’t be alchemical.

And the change and the switch and whatnot that needs to happen has to happen as if nothing took place, as if there was no difference that was effectuated, nothing that anybody can visualize or put their finger upon, because if it is something that they can do that, if there is a way that one can sit and reconcile themselves and look back at themselves and say, okay, this is this, and they lose a certain quality or heartfulness, or a certain sense in relationship to this versus that, or something like that as a general overall quality, then something gets lost. 

It kind of reminds one of the story of where the king elevated this person to be head of the treasury and he was just an ordinary person. And this person would go into the vault room where all of the treasury was held for the kingdom. And there there was a mirror and he would put on the old clothes that he used to have, and he would stand there and look at himself in the old clothes having taken off the regal clothes that he had been given. 

He did that every day in order to try to not let himself shift away from where he had been. The difference was just a matter of putting on different clothes, that really there was no difference about him at all. And he did that not to develop any airs, or characteristics. or qualities that would take him and make him somehow or another distinct or separate from others.

What I have noticed, this is a pattern in terms of experiencing something inside, is it seems to be a dilemma that a person just cannot seem to help. You get to a point where you can go for weeks, months, whatever, feeling something in a particular way that is a better condition than how it was that you used to be in – and you become dependent upon that feeling that something in a better condition than the way it used to be. 

You tend to lean on that, and it’s very subtle, and if you start leaning on it the next thing you know that happens is that if it goes away, or suddenly diminishes, or something happens in the outer that flips it on its head, you become a sick-o again. In other words, you lose it completely.

You can’t be dependent upon even that. And if you become dependent on that, then you lose a certain heartfulness and a certain graciousness that has to also be there in relationship to everything else. And if you don’t have that heartfulness and that graciousness in terms of everything else – and able to experience this something as well – then nothing can happen because you’re not quite grounded. 

You’re still experiencing something in an aloof way. It’s subtle, but it’s still aloof. As a consequence then, you are then subrogating the energy, meaning you’re taking the energy you’re experiencing and utilizing it in some capacity that makes something more happen than what would ordinarily happen. 

You’re making that something more take place. That’s a condition that’s like blasphemous in terms of it makes you some sort of creature or something, it’s like an empowered creature that has usurped the energy in a certain way so that they can pull off and get away with things – and you can’t. 

You need to be vulnerable to whatever the forces are out there, always vulnerable to the least of the forces. To the degree that you push yourself beyond the least of those forces, you create and make a problem.

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