A Valid Expression

ES-Fractal-MandalaIn this series of images, John is moved incrementally closer to the idea that how he behaves has an effect on the whole, whether that’s in a room of people, or in the universe. Yet our expression has to be natural, rather than fear-based, or caused by personal neediness or other defense mechanisms. We are meant to be a part of, and a unique expression in, the world. Just discovering what that means is a worthwhile journey.  (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: In this next dream, the way I have to approach it is I have to approach it from the standpoint of pointing out that in order for the alchemical, or the wholeness, to work, I have to trust in the outer. I have to trust in life as having a way of making this happen – of there being a graciousness that extends and bleeds through. 

In other words, it’s coming through, it’s channeled through me, somehow or another I am in such a way so that I communicate more than I realize that I communicate, and I have to not be concerned over the fact that I do this. It is okay when I communicate. Others can figure it out even though it’s at their own pace.

So I start off with a dream to show what it’s like if I sit in a quietness, completely absent all energetics, and how that works. The first image is that I’m observing this empty house on a hill; that empty house is me. 

And it sits on a corner, on a hill, and the yard slopes down, there’s a lawn that slopes down. It has the sidewalks like in a city that cycle around, and there’s the next house around the corner. 

It would be easier if kids that lived there, and go back and forth and play, it would be easier for the kids to pull their little red wagon or something along the sidewalk, but there’s something so fascinating and it’s kind of a nice little house, quiet house. It’s empty. It doesn’t give off any vibe of any restriction or anything, so the kids cut across that. It’s their shortcut as they play.

And so in the image, I see this little girl, I think it’s a little girl, and she’s pulling this little red wagon with her toys on it, and she’s pulling it up over the slope of this lawn, and the lawn is sloped, of course. 

It would be much easier if she just stayed on the sidewalk down below where it’s all contoured and evened out, and this house is sitting on the slope, but she takes a shortcut. And in the final image I’m seeing her yelling ahead to her other play friends in the yard across the way, that instead of cutting the corner, which would have been easier, she is speeding along going across the lawn. 

And what’s interesting about this lawn is, the house is dormant and whatnot, is in my paranoia I can’t help but think, if this keeps up it’s going to cut a trail across the lawn. But the lawn looks fine. The lawn is okay with it. It seems to be able to accommodate it.

And so the image is pointing out that I need to be an accommodating presence that graciously lets the carefree spirit find its way. So, there’s that particular component in me, and that component would be somewhat comparable, in your dream, to the police element control or protection mannerism of the masculine. 

In my case, this is a feminine quality of being able to let something be. But the feminine quality is also a communicator quality, too, in terms of it radiates. It’s an open book, and it has to allow something to be recognized in order for it to be properly appreciated. 

So in this other image, someone is trying to get me to talk. I seem to be staying quiet. There are some people around me that I usually am responsive towards, at least that’s the idea if these people are brought into the setting, I’ll respond. 

And a person is observing this to see if that’s what’s happening, but realizes that this isn’t the right scenario to get me to open up, either. So this person says, “Okay, bring in the gypsies,” which are even more outrageous in a way that perhaps that will cause me to open up and be responsive.

And the gypsies come in all dressed in black outfits, wearing the color black. And the significance is the idea being that gypsies are just outlandish enough that this will bring me out.

And the meaning is, that when I open up and let people know what is on my mind, or how I am, or what I’m feeling inside – because they can’t grasp this, they are tighter in their nature, they can’t grasp the fluidity of things like I do – but if I open up and let it come out they’re able to accept, understand, and relate. Otherwise, they get all twisted.

And it’s this that breaks through any confusion that keeps a distance. I simply need to be more open, in other words, not worry about being more open like I tend to do, thinking that that just breeds more problems. I can accommodate this inner quality quietly, as shown in this empty corner house on a hill that has this yard sloping down to the street, which the kids pass through as a shortcut as they play and go about just being kids. 

And so the gypsy dream is indicating that I can bring a communication, in other words from the quietness now, that harbors and holds something and allows something to be. Then there’s the communication thing, that the gypsy dream is directing, where it’s outlandish and reaches out into things that brings a communication kind of connection through vocally as well, or demonstratively as well, instead of just quietly. 

And in this dream I am confronting with the scenario to see if I will finally open it up and let it come out. The idea being that this will bridge a gap.

In the final dream, I see Shannon in the distance. Now Shannon is the bank officer up the street, and I just come to this branch and make my deposit, and Shannon is a naturally open, communicative person who likes to talk to everybody and thinks that she needs to have a relationship with everyone.

And, because I’m making the deposits and the stuff that I do there at the bank, she feels that she needs to know more about where I’m coming from, at least in a relatability standpoint. And I just tend to go up, make my deposit, and walk away, and I can always tell that there’s a little bit of an imbalance because I didn’t say “Hi.”

She’s actually also very community oriented that way. She approaches the community in the same way that she approaches that job. So Shannon has this need to go out and effectuate her presence in things. And when it comes to me, I don’t allow that to happen. I just stay in my own little shell, and in my own little way. 

So in this dream I see her in the distance involved with some community event, but she is that way of course, and I see myself holding back at a distance, admiring that she does that, but noticing that there is something that’s not quite right about it. But I’m not going to change my holding-back quality, so I leave a kind of stigma that’s there.

Well the meaning of the dream, is what I see would benefit by my effect, by clearing the space in a small way. I am lazy in that regard. I tend to want to stay back in my own little private hiddenness. And I tend to like to leave things as they are and let others fend and figure things out on their own – thinking that they should be able to do that.

But it doesn’t work that way. In order for me to be more interconnected in the overall outer environment, like in the gypsy dream, I need to let go of this demeanor. In letting it go, no matter what people think, I clear the air and environment that is stifled. In some small way it’s stifled, or impacted, and can’t break free on its own. 

It probably has tried in its own way to get my attention and I just won’t acknowledge. And, of course, this backs all the way up to the meditation dream that when one does this, this sets in motion where the energy that comes racing in real hard and fast, in the way that it comes racing down, can then be accommodated or channeled, the vice regent quality of myself that is something more can then bring this through as an inner coming down, coming through and into manifestation in a way so that it can be handled and can flow in terms of how manifestation needs to take it in.

And so this is all a big sequence of events. Of course, if you were to look at the difference between your dream and my dream, my dreams tended to have a little bit of an openness, like the feminine accommodates the whole, and the feminine holds something in a quietness in relationship to a bigger picture, even though that can tend to be dormant, and so this is an aspect of a kind of a feminine nature that I’m catching up with.

And yours is an aspect of a masculine nature in which you see about yourself that there are the protectiveness forces that accommodate and support how you need to be, but you can’t quite get the full benefit out of that because there’s also something that is aloof and strung out, spun out, that’s unacceptable as if it’s in a drunken and in an asleep way then, as a consequence, that also needs to be pulled down and grounded.

And in doing so, it then takes on that quality that doesn’t mean to be doing something haywire. That quality flips and then adds and can then do something so much more, thus like the farmer or something, it can do something much more productive. It can come down from on high where it’s intangible, right down into the valley of life where things are fertile and can be a valid expression. 

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