As our consciousness awakens, we begin to deal with higher and higher energies – energies that are too potent to come to us without our invitation – and that invitation is made when we choose to be in service to something higher than ourselves. It’s a natural process where we continually need to adjust and rebalance ourselves to be able to take on more and more. That is the real definition of development – being able to attract, hold, and use higher essences through our lives. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
John: It causes me to want to ponder the traveling dream I had.
And in it, I’d come with a couple of companions and, to begin with, it’s almost as if the area is somewhat familiar except I’m on maybe the neighbor’s property who has a pond that has been off limits to me. And the pond comes right up to the back deck of the neighbor’s house, or of this person’s house, and we come over uninvited and have gone up on the deck of the house.
And looking down on this pond to begin with it doesn’t seem like it’s a big pond, but it’s full of great big fish in it. You could see them swimming around at the bottom. And in the enamoring of watching these fish swimming around a railing gets knocked off of the deck into the water and one of the big fish comes up to check it out as it hits the water.
It’s at that moment that I realize that we made a commotion and that we’re apt to be seen, or heard, and that the owner will come out and we are trespassing. My two friends are indulged in the fish and in the pond and so they’re not paying attention, or realizing anything that could be awkward, and there’s nothing much I can do to get their attention because one has to move immediately.
So, they’re to my left indulging in the pond, and I just slip into the water and start swimming to my right – swimming out of sight and out of the way of whatever might come out on the deck to see what’s going on.
So I swim and I swim. I’m amazed that the water seems warm; I expected it maybe to be cooler. And I’m surprised how far the pond goes on and, at some point in the pond, where this horse is walking on the bottom is bugging me, it’s bothering me, it’s sticking its nose in my face. It’s making it hard for me to swim.
And I go right into a main street of town, get up, realize, okay, this is an incredible horse it’s so friendly and everything, I jump on its back bareback riding and I stick my fingers up near the horse’s head or face because it didn’t have a bridle, and I attempt to steer the horse along. It doesn’t work out very well, but that’s what I try to do is just try to get the horse to proceed like that.
Well, in this part of the dream what is happening is the fish stand for a consciousness that is awakening, but there’s an indulgence in the fish. There is an indulgence in that, and that indulgence is keeping a certain flexibility spontaneity from being there.
Just like in your dream, you had an indulgence and the way things were waking up, and waking up, and waking up, and then the question became enough is enough, or when do you stop? And just the finding of it seemed to be sufficient. It seemed that if you were to stop you would live it in some capacity, or do something different with it that would make it all make more sense.
And in my dream the indulgence, the parts of me that are indulging in the fascination of the consciousness that’s waking up, I’m not fully paying attention to something, and that part is running into what could be a type of crisis, or collateral issue.
But another part of me that gets it is finding the power that it needs, which is represented by the horse – but I don’t know how to ride the horse. I don’t know how to handle that. That’s not an issue of the power. The power is there, it’s friendly, it’s accessible to me, it’s that I don’t know how to work with it, or to deal with it, so that’s the limitation I have in that aspect of the dream.
Then it’s like the dream shifts, and I seem to be traveling with a woman that is someone who you never quite know when it is that she’s liable to do something that’s in her own personal best interest. She’s friendly enough, she’s well meaning enough, but she just has that strange kind of trait.
And something about this atmosphere makes this whole thing awkward in terms of traveling. It seems so pained to travel like this. And even the food that I eat feels like junk food and there’s no way to know where to dispose – there’s no convenient place to dispose of the container.
So I kind of carry it along and, at some point, I’m even kicking in front of me as we’re passing through kind of an area that’s like a part of a city or something. There are lines of people lined up and they’re going from place to place and getting junk food to eat – like soup lines, like poor people.
And here I am kicking this empty container that held junkiness along, and this woman that I’m with she even indulges in some of that food that’s there and oh, I just, you know, that’s bad. And then she even has the audacity to wipe her dirty hands on the back of my shirt as I’m walking along. It just is too much, this unconscious demeanor and indulgence.
In other words, the container thing isn’t coming together, which is the feminine aspect and whatnot. I just keep kicking things down the road when I’m not carrying it, but I can’t carry it all the time, and so it’s just not working.
So I end up finding myself on my own again, traveling. I have no idea where I’m traveling. I have no idea what will happen, and what it is that I seek or anything like that. And I wake up carrying this peculiarity in my nature.
That was like two dreams there, and both of those had in common a kind of indulgence, or limitation aspect, that was in the way of something unfolding. The first dream with the fish indicated that the consciousness was awakening, and that I was drawing the attention of the consciousness even, but something about that process was an indulgence that affected one part of myself.
Another part of myself realized that I just needed to get into the water of it all and swim along and, in that regard, letting go of it, I accessed a natural power that came right up to me. It wasn’t like I even had to find it. It actually bothered me, nuzzling me as I’m trying to swim, as it seemed to like just naturally walk in the water. But I don’t know how to handle or to ride that, so that’s an initial imbalance. I don’t know how to live that, in other words.
That’s an initial imbalance, and so the dream that unfolds from that adds information to the prior one, seems to suggest that there is something wrong with the quality of my feminine nature – that it is still indulging in personal aspects of things in life.
And getting its hands dirty, and acting according to its own, where it should know better, and yet in terms of how this has opened up for me, and with me, and in terms of me in my presence, there is an uneasiness.
It’s just not working, which basically means that aspect of the feminine is the quality or trait that isn’t quite coming together so that I can own the power, and live the power, and ride the power that is available to me to go along with a consciousness that is made available, which rises up to me as well, that can be shaken and awakened.
So without the feminine principle properly aligned there is an indulgence, and so that portrays the delirium that I sit in.
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