It would likely be a shock to anyone who has a family member die in a dream, yet in this dream image the death of a brother points to an aspect of the masculine in the dreamer – because we are all the characters in our dreams. The outcome is representative of the idea that what is being shown to the dreamer remains unresolved. If a resolution had been reached, in the sense of being able to incorporate this energetic into one’s life, the outcome would have been different. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
John: So now what happens is, just like your dream took and went to a point where something was lost and then indicated where part of what pulls things together is the need to find the protection. That’s how it works for the feminine.
For the masculine, they need to get aligned. In other words, they need to come into grips with a seeing of something, as opposed to something that is too much based upon things bouncing around, some of which they repress the images, or the sight of. They don’t pull it all the way necessarily through and, thus, leave themselves disjointed or even traumatized or, because they know that it’s supposed to be there, they can leave themselves in a type of huge sorrow or grief.
And this dream starts off with my brother, and my brother is a person who is supersensitive and aware in a very subtle way, but then is plagued by a condition and that condition of course makes him awkward – but almost in an innocent way because you tend to want to try to help him, even though he can’t quite really help himself because he’s indulging on his grief, too.
So my brother and I go away from the rest of the family. In other words, everyone’s kind of in a mall area, or something, shopping or who knows what. And we take off, kind of on our own – sort of rebellious in that regard. And this is a pattern that kind of repeats as a type of trying to break free, or find one’s balance or something more, except my brother is even more outrageous in this pattern, as if he has been wounded.
And he even lets you know about it with his conduct. In other words, you know that he feels like he’s been hurt. And you kind of see that, or sense that, and so you almost inflect upon the guilt yourself. My brother doesn’t mean to project that but you can kind of see that in him because he has such a quality of gentleness that that other comes through because it looks pouty or out of sorts compared to how he can be when everything is wonderful for him.
So to go where we’re going, we go through the mall area and on the outside of it we come to kind of an interesting backyard area, in which it’s like almost like a type of mountainside, or hill that’s like a mountainside, in which you can go way up into it and it’s really a beautiful scene.
And about half way up that we can see some people up there, and just the fact that they’re there adds some fascination to the quality of this place. Now, the sense is that when you see that it’d be kind of like nice maybe to go up there and see what that’s like, but I don’t feel that we have time to be doing that. We need to be getting back.
But my brother, he’s a little more feeling that he has a certain rightness that needs to be there or something. I don’t know, maybe it’s part of his dilemma. So he gets it in his mind that he’s going to fit it in.
Now this is something where you need to climb carefully, but instead he races up the mountainside just like he’s going to get up to where he needs to get real quick, and fit it in, and throw certain precautions aside, which, when he does this, I realize that’s amazing how fast he can climb. But from my perspective one should know better and go slower or something.
In other words, he’s figuring why can’t he do what other people have done on the slope, but he’s doing it too quickly as he tries to reach to this interesting spot. And he figures if he hurries he could do this, and then we can go back.
I mean, that’s kind of a manner or attitude he has. But he’s out of control and he slips, but he catches himself momentarily. But then he loses his grip and he falls all the way to the bottom.
What’s interesting is if he would have just fallen to the bottom he’d have probably killed himself anyway because it’s such a large drop. But he does more than just fall to the bottom, he falls into a large crevice that I didn’t notice was there. He hits it perfectly.
It’s like a split in the ground and he goes way down, and he goes down to where I can’t go. I couldn’t rescue him even if he was alive. I can’t see him he falls so far down in there.
In other words, he just hits it perfectly. It’s almost like I could hear him bouncing around the crevice a little bit initially, which means that just makes it even worse. So I know he couldn’t survive the fall.
So because I can’t do anything, I can’t go down there, I proceed to try and find my way back. Now, my brother added a certain level of something to my demeanor, a sense of direction. In other words, he carried a certain feminine element even though it was wounded or distorted, so as I try to go back I get all twisted around.
I take a wrong turn and, the next thing you know, I’m even on the other side of the mall. And so as I cycle around to try to figure out where the entrance side needs to be, I end up going further and further away from the mall even. Now I can’t even find the mall. I’m at the edge of town wondering now if I can even find the mall.
So what’s this dream portraying? The dream is portraying a condition I carry because I have some sort of deep inner grief that I have suppressed. It’s the nature of the masculine. They carry some quality of thoughts and whatnot that aren’t quite clear. And the feminine nature is able to know whether that’s right or not, and that adds something as an awakening.
But the thoughts and the inflections that a masculine tries to bring down can be almost there, but not there, and they can haunt you. And that can cause you to do crazy things because it’s like there is the sense that it should come through because you’re supposed to have that connection to it – or you used to have that connection to it from long, long ago or something and you’re just not able to pull it off anymore.
In other words, whatever this is exists in the memory synapses as if long ago, but you no longer have a memory of what it is, or how it is, yet it influences your conduct and behavior and sense of balance. It creates the illusion that is similar to like when you owe something or, in other words, you’re required to do something. You have a duty or something.
It’s like a debt and the debt is one that, ultimately, the pain of that results in an acceptance and forgiveness as if one has messed up on, and gotten seriously wounded within, as a result. And of course if you get seriously wounded enough, you create a veil over it and you can’t create the memory back to it.
So I do not know how to reconcile this unfinished business from deep within. The barrier it creates has me repeating in my sleep scenes where I get twisted around and am unable, on my own, to get my bearing to where I need to be. I am suppressing an energetic trauma, grief, within that is my way home.
In other words, I needed to catch up with that – and then I suddenly see something. Just like in your dream where you lost something, but it wasn’t less for the wear if you eventually come back to it and have the greater appreciation. It works the same way here. That grief or trauma or whatever it is that’s hidden, if I catch up with that it actually, the fact that it plagued or played upon me and I came and was in creation or manifestation in this bizarre condition, when I bring it through then it has a whole greater effect upon all of life.
And in this dream, the fact that this dream happened and there was all of this bizarreness that occurred indicates that you’re close to the wound or the grief that I feel. In other words, just like I have a sense of what’s going on in the outer but can’t do anything about it and it plagues me. It’s a type of wound and grief.
And it’s slowly coming to the surface as I have the need as portrayed by the first dream to break out of the malaise. That is the first aspect of an imbalance.
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