Hearing the Closeness

closenessThis dream image follows the theme from yesterday (see A Mannerism of Doubt) where Jeane is trying to sort out energies on the inner plane – which is a common process in dreams. This sorting during sleep allows our unconscious to make connections for us that would otherwise be blocked when we are awake and in a conscious state. As we see, however, it’s not without its struggles. The different aspects of us have to be ready and have to reach an agreement. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: As the dream shifts, I must have either seen a wedding, or attended a wedding maybe, and then I came back to an area and there was a woman there, an English woman, who hadn’t gone to the wedding, and she seemed almost a little peevish about it.

I’m trying to talk to her about how it’s okay. Meanwhile, she’s talking to some other women, who maybe would go to a wedding, and they’re actually sitting at a little table with some wedding cake in front of them. And I think she slices open the wedding cake and, I don’t know, she may even eat some.

I knew in the same movie, I had been somewhere into a theater so it seems that was like the scene right before this. It was like I was in a theater and I was originally watching the movie. It’s on a Saturday morning. The back of the theater is filled with kids, and they’re making too much noise, and I move back a row because I then spot the little boy who’s actually making all the racket and do something to try to shush him a little bit.

He’s just sitting there with a tub of popcorn on his lap and kind of acting out. At the same time, I realize, that that’s not going to work overall because a lot of the kids come to this movie. Maybe it was in the movie I saw the wedding. This is kind of their Saturday morning activity and they’re actually just there to act out in certain ways rather than just watch the movie, so it’s kind of not much point in trying to get them to be quiet.

I think I go from there to the hotel, where the woman is just looking at the wedding cake or slicing the wedding cake, as opposed to eating it or going to a wedding, because she has some attitude about weddings.

And also maybe she thinks she doesn’t have the right clothing. And I’m telling her that all of that doesn’t really matter. I mean I could go with her to her home and come up with something, but it’s almost like she’s already set. For some reason her energy reminds me of the person who isn’t coming to group, partly because maybe they’ve set their mind about certain things.

That’s about all I remember of that dream.

John: Well that’s a lot of trying to sort something out there.

The masculine energy that’s not settled back and taking in the movie, is representing a lot of input that’s happening, that hasn’t been grounded.

The feminine part that’s looking at the movie from the standpoint that there is a wedding, or cake, or something, is looking to try to bring out the opposite, which has to do with a closeness, pulling something of meaning together. You’ve got a gap. Where’s the middle?

Because the masculine’s attention has to be caught to something where it suddenly finds the movie interesting rather than just being fickle and cut up—cutting up and carrying on. And the feminine has to see a flow in something. You can’t just have the cake being cut up or this, that, or the other.

So, it has to have kind of an input flow that comes through in order to make a closeness out of that. So you have the distance and the closeness. You have the raw energy, separate from the aspect of the closeness. So, when you have that, that means that you’re concerned about something. It means you’re worrying about something. It means you’re pondering something.

And so one has to evaluate what that scenario could be. When you have the extremes like that, it means it isn’t disclosed. Because the closeness is the closeness—there’s an identity there—and the cutting up is the cutting up and there’s the recognition of that, and yet you haven’t broken through the barrier. That can leave one feeling kind of shut off, or confused, or out of sync, or overwhelmed, so it’s kind of a continuation of the same thing.

In my case, how that applies is in terms of how you’re able to hear the raw energy, how you’re able to hear things. If you’re having trouble hearing things, or rejecting what you’re hearing, or rejecting what is coming through – it’s hard to say – if you’re rejecting what is coming through, that is a type of sight, and the closeness that you feel is a kind of hearing, isn’t it?

Closeness is a kind of hearing. Sight has to do with the raw energy coming through. If you’re not able to take that in, then you can’t find the flow, then you can’t get it to resonate in terms of hearing the closeness, because everything that is happening is intertwined.

And if you can’t see the intertwining, you can’t find the closeness. So it’s seeing, then the seeing becomes a hearing, which becomes a closeness. The hearing and the closeness are feminine correlated. The seeing and the raw energy of things of the flow coming through is masculine correlated.

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A Mannerism of Doubt

2079435_deeper-stillIt is part of our life’s baggage that we tend to overreact to, resist, or defend ourselves from, the new and the unknown. Just as it can be true in outer life, it can happen on the inner life as well. When our journey and effort results in new aspects of our inner selves opening up, it can be a shock to the system; we don’t always know how to handle the new found energy. That’s where trusting the inner system comes into play, because otherwise our fear can build new veils for us to contend with. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: I didn’t dream the first part of the night that I remembered. But this last part of the night, in the dream, I seem to be going to this house off and on. In this house, I run group meetings in one of the rooms, like therapy groups. And sometimes a lot of people show up, almost to the point where I’m thinking I need to start a second group.

And other times, hardly anyone shows up. Out of the group that shows up, I can either have a mixed group—by that I mean people that are coming that have had a background from counseling and also alcoholism—or sometimes it might just be the group shows up that’s been having more trouble with drinking and I never know which. And there’s also some Native Americans that show up, like men and women and different ages, and I’m trying to have a dialogue at times with them.

At one time, just as I think I need to start a second group because there are so many coming, I come and no one showed up. So I go to an area of the house where people come and socialize and dance, and I think it’s there that I find out that someone had started a rumor that I was an alcoholic. And I am talking with some people, but we’re all in the dark while we’re talking and someone’s coming over and standing next to me and even joking, so I know they’re there. It’s almost like they’re pretending they’re there, or they’re not there, but they are there.

One part of what we discussed is how hard it is to confront a rumor like that, because even if you hardly drink, which I rarely do, if someone starts that kind of a rumor, people that have that problem believe it; they project it onto you. Then the more you defend against it, the more they believe it.

So I’m used to expressing my frustration about that and one of the guys, I think he’s a Native American, younger guy, I can tell he’s standing next to me in the dark, maybe even joking about it because he may understand it. I don’t know because you never know who starts the rumors. So in some ways, it’s just going around there, or sensing the people that are in the room and some of the qualities about them.

John: So the theme of the dreaming has to do with, it seems to be a feminine theme of dreaming, in that this is not a way that I look at things, typically. It’s the way the feminine looks at things.

The feminine, when its trying to awaken, has to contend with something that creates a stimulation, or creates something of a level of excitement or interest. What the feminine has to sort out is whether this excitement or interest is of any value or importance to how it is that she sees herself, or feels herself.

And these qualities or characteristics that take and cause something to churn away or to become open, or for one to have to relate to, is kind of like masculine, outer raw energy. Some raw energy is easily embraced – and yet it doesn’t take much to create a stigma towards it. You can develop a mood, or an attitude, and shut off that which is visible very easily.

And when that happens you can then stare at whatever it is that was generated as a problem and wonder: how is it that I get rid of what I just took on as a mood, or an attitude, or a mannerism that gets in the way? Because it can get in the way to such a degree that that which was quite present before, is no longer there. Or, if it’s there, it’s in some sort of invisible capacity again which means it’s veiled, and yet it had been really, really open. And there had been a way in which you could perceive the ebb and flow of it.

But then, all of a sudden, with this something else that’s been brought in, that’s created a tone or a mannerism of doubt, or of a stigma, then you find yourself unable to access that which was readily accessible and able to follow it ebb and flow. But now all of a sudden, it’s not even an ebb and a flow. It’s somehow veiled because of this part that came into the equation and created a barrier to that kind of relationship or sight.

So this is a problem that the feminine has, in that the feminine is kind of like a sponge and its container energy soaks things up, but can get violated, and/or perceive itself as on the fritz, or not able to cope or something. And then that creates a veil.

So what I’m trying to ponder is if I can see where that veil is being created. Often times it’s created or caused by a kind of identity that has to do with aiming to please or something, in which one goes outside of themselves, and goes over the top and exhausts themselves, instead of allowing it to come through and to them. If you exhaust yourself, so it doesn’t come through and to you, then what happens is you get overly tired. And when you get overly tired, you don’t get rested either. Your tiredness seems to be some sort of imbalance with the energy.

It’s interesting how all of that works and from the standpoint that it’s worth watching one’s self to realize how it is that one is attuned. Just like the masculine is in tune to the feminine side of itself in terms of being able to kind of appreciate a sense of the overall, the feminine is attuned to the masculine side of herself in order to be able to feel an excitement and aliveness in terms of what is going on around in the environment.

And what is meaningful keeps coming back. What is not meaningful falls away. And so, like the feminine side could be excited about something only to find that she’s deluded herself, that there isn’t anything in it, and that she was hearing the information coming through in a wrongful way or something. So, it’s interesting how you dreamt that.

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A Central Guidance

11680061-tuning-fork-therapy-alternative-holistic-medicineIn these images, John is contending with different aspects of himself that operate at different speeds. As we elevate in our journey, parts of us begin to operate at higher speeds. That’s actually how we get to a state of stillness – by being able to handle very high energies and fast processes. The world will then appear to be in a slowed-down state to us. An important point about this is, we have to get all the inner parts of us in unison, or we will often feel out of balance. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: My dreaming had to do with being speeded up. In my meditation dream, the issues I was contending with was that of being backed up to make it as hard as possible for me to go forward. Whenever there was any question in terms of what to do, the response would be: back him up. That was the dream. In other words, slow me down or something.

So the significance is, although this suggests never-ending limitations and drudgery, the positive feature to this was that this made me stronger than ever. In other words, it forced me to focus and channel in my concentration, and recognize exactly what was required, or the proper need, and in doing so I would gain confidence and fortitude as I would rise above the obstacles.

To get to where I am meant to be I cannot dwell upon the difficulty. I must strive to overcome, in other words, find the focus that holds the flow that has the clarity within it; in other words, the energy that comes down. And sometimes that has to be grounded because you can be overwhelmed with it, too, and generally are when you’re speeded up.

This dream’s net effect was to cause me to adopt the attitude that resistances were there as a challenge for me. The resistance I’m describing is like a type of kundalini energy. In other words, it hasn’t quite been factored in naturally. For an easily broken-glass-bottle person such barriers would be taken on in a demoralizing way. It just becomes difficult to do the most obvious, the easiest.

The barrier would be like this as if one could easily give up or act as if the world was against them. In other words, just not able to get the thing to be in sync. The purpose of the dream is to instill a proper attitude and commensurate adab.

Opposite to this trait is the mannerism of a defeatist complainer who sees the world as always being against them. That’s the opposite for the masculine. For the feminine, the opposite, or the struggle, would be to find the appropriate timing that meets the need – being right there at the moment that you need it, and that the world around would be in agreement and in support of it as well.

So this dream set the tempo, and then how I work with this was the next aspect of a dream with two parts. And one of the ways that I had to work with it was, well, first of all I had to recognize that the dreams the last two days are about being able to go as I need to go, and how I need to flow. Whether or not I have the right idea how to flow is the question, but it’s about the flow.

In this dream, working off the template of something being speeded up, and having me pay attention more to how not to be limited by things around me, or slowed down by things that are moving at a staler pace.

I’m in a vehicle. I’m coming to some event that’s being held. It’s not something I’m familiar with. I’m not certain just how everyone is going to be gathering, but I have to take into account what the possibilities might be and select a spot, this being a place where I can place the car so that when this event that I’ve come to is over, I will be able to leave without any problems. I won’t be blocked in or inconvenienced by others ahead of me that will be pushing out and then balling things up or something.

By taking all of that into account in advance – and you question why I’m acting like this because from your position you just park the car and you deal with that later – but I’m caught up in a part of me that surges out yet as if it has to take into account my speeded up adab, therefore the choices that I make must comport around that as well and take all of that into account right at the beginning.

Then in another aspect or scenario of how I apply this, is that I’m traveling with various parts of myself like a vessel in a waterway or something, and each of these vessels has its own mind or its own means of how it’s powered to flow the way it flows – and that creates division.

And so I need to make a decision which vessel is going to be the dominant vessel in terms of the flow and focus, and then the other vessels kind of de-power a little bit as they fall into line, and maybe even give up a tiny bit to the dominant vessel because they then fall in line. They don’t have to think about it. They don’t have to figure anything out. They just proceed under the direction of this main vessel.

At the same time that this guidance issue is established, these other vessels, like I say, let go of the need to have to struggle anymore in that particular regard because it’s laid out for them and made simple for them. In other words, their type of individual bewilderment confusion no longer gets in the way as they surrender to a central guidance that comes up from within.

Well, the meaning of dreams like this is first of all the issue is that of flow, and in the main meditation dream I am having to contend with an energetic that is causing me to be more speeded up than usual. It can just be something that just stirs in you and you can’t settle down. That makes it hard for me to sometimes read simple instructions. I’ve got something jumping inside that energetically does not want to ground, slow down, and take that sort of thing in. So in that regard, I am kind of unbalanced or ungrounded.

When like this, I act as if there are things in my way. I am impatient. I can’t go at an even pace. I see myself as being kind of clear about whatever it is that I want, but when I need to focus upon specific detail I struggle.

The appearance of my condition is that of having my kundalini energy more animated or activated than usual so that the surroundings around me tend to be hard to contend with. So I just can’t seem to find a proper equilibrium that comports with the pace of this inner – in terms of the outer around me.

Because I tend to dwell more upon the inner energetic, so I tend to see my condition as a type of awakening, or a need, that is important to get things done. But I can’t help but notice that something is off about this way of looking at it when the outer environment throws up resistances, or causes results that are not as fast as I am expecting.

And often times it takes me even longer when there are other aspects to contend with because, in going too fast, I’m roughing over things and can’t seem to be in sync, timing-wise, in the moment with the proper focus and clarity as I need to have.

So, in the sleep dreams, this mannerism carries over as I plan my positioning in terms of parking. And so in this dream where I’m parking I’m having to consider the options so I will not be held back when it is time to go, or get blocked off by others as they leave.

And, similarly, in the other aspect of the dream, I need to bring my faculties under one focus. In other words, it’s like I have other parts in the surroundings around me, which are like other boats or whatever, are at a different pace and I’m trying to rally or pull the momentum of everything under a simplicity, or under one focus, so that then one can direct all parts of one’s self without any confusion. And then the focus becomes concentrated.

The deeper meaning is that the dreams last night are about how to deal with inner forces that are still raw and haven’t yet been naturally harmonized into outer life.

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