Shock and Awe

flameHWe can see that the universe, the planet, and even humans like to maintain a point of balance. Yet balance is only one part of an equation, where any movement, or shift away from balance, requires the system to regain its balance. It’s a natural process in an evolution because if we want to grow, we can’t stay still. In Jeane’s dream images, she experiences this process and, by reaching to a depth inside her, she makes progress in her development. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: The thing that stood out in the very first dream I had was I had gone to a dentist. He was supposed to fix something, but in order to fix it he’d have to stick this plug down my throat and put it in somewhere and I knew he was going to block off my breathing when he did that.

So I decided not to have the procedure done right then. It’s almost like I went in, I looked at the whole situation, I sat and I talked in the chair, and I heard what he was going to have to do. I had someone else with me, but I wasn’t willing to go through that right then, to have something fixed by my breathing being cut off. It just wasn’t in my perspective, so to speak. 

That was the first dream.

John: Well, the image is one of shock. So it’s a type of shock – so what does that shock do to your heart?

Jeane: Then the result was that it felt like the rest of the evening, even though I had other dreams, that when I closed my eyes I would just see flames. It was a very interesting sensation. It was like the background was just always flames. The flames didn’t disturb me particularly, I just thought it was kind of odd that I was seeing fire all the time.

John: What part of the breath was cut off, the in-breath, the breathing in or the breathing out? The breathing in was cut off. You couldn’t get air in. So something shocking, that’s alarming, that’s like a fire, that’s affecting things… I don’t think you know what that shock is, then. What is that shock?

Jeane: Well then, it’s like I’m seeing fire, and then the rest of the dreams seem a little wispier. The fire can always come back. It wasn’t fire, it was more like flame.

In the rest of the dreams, it feels like at one point I’m guiding some people, it feels like almost two women of different ages, a mother and daughter maybe, or teenage daughter and a mother. 

And when I guide them, sometimes we have to do things like go down in manholes, and maybe they can’t fit down there with carrying a backpack, so they have to hand me their purse or their backpack so they can fit. And they don’t always like that, and I just kind of note that.

From the scene with the manhole cover I think actually there was a spot where I went to a university, but I don’t remember enough about what I was doing there. And then I was driving a car. 

It feels like as I approached the hill that I needed to go down and I looked ahead, I suddenly noticed there was a divider right in front of me and I had to hurry and scoot to the left side of the divider to be on line to go down the hill. 

At the same point, when I got to the hill I was going to have to quickly switch over to the right again, because there wouldn’t be a divider there, but there would be cars coming up in the left lane. 

So it was like I had to do some tricky kind of driving because the roads weren’t aligned completely, and I had to know when to switch – first to be on the side of the divider, and then to be able to switch back over to the right again so I wouldn’t hit cars coming up on the left side when they came up the hill.

And in the same way it felt like right before that I was doing some driving where the roadway just got tricky. It was almost like a maze and you had to go around in a half circle and avoid some barriers. And it might take you several tries to actually find how the road worked. I remember that. 

Then it felt like I came out into a dream where I’m almost in a procession going down an alley. And the procession includes, I don’t know, like strange buggies and things almost like you see with a circus. And as we’re going down there, and I even work my way towards the front, I detour for a few minutes to stop at a policeman’s house. 

He’s actually off duty and he’s sleeping. It just seems like I go up to the house. Maybe I wake him up and then I go back to the procession. Everything was wispy because the only thing that really seemed real in a way were the flames when I saw them, and all the other dreams were even hard to focus on at all.

John: When this thing kind of comes out, and shuts something off, or shifts something, that sends you kind of in a silhouette of energy that has to cycle around to find its balance again. That must have been an amazing sinking feeling, but you came out of it and found your balance again.

Jeane: Yeah, it just was a little hard.

John: That’s an amazing process of absorption. You came out of it and found your sense of balance again. 

In other words, what you got hit with was this type of shock. That shock then went into something being devastated, destroyed. From that required a letting go, required you to empty something in order to catch up again, and in that process of letting go of the security and the backpack and whatnot, you’re left, so to speak, vulnerable.

But that’s how it has to be done in terms of going to deeper depths to get a resolution. And, in so doing, then that enabled you to close the loop back because it’s almost like something came along. 

If you were to visualize the energy, you came along in a straight line and you hit this thing that’s like a shock, and then the flames fly up in front of that. One part goes this way, another part of yourself goes this way, and then they come back together. 

And what you created as an image is the heart, and the heart’s a flame. Heart is a light, it’s a fire, and you got the two sides. You pulled the two sides around together and that makes an interesting wholeness.

And most people don’t do that. They stab the heart. Something happens, they hit, the flame shoots up, they go on one tangent, and one goes on the other tangent. There’s an irreconcilable gap and they don’t have what it takes for the magnetism to pull it all the way back around and connect. And that’s what you did in your dream. 

So, how did that feel? I mean it must have been a tremendous relief to be able to come back into cohesion again. Did you even fully have to dwell with how awkward that was to be separate? 

Well, I guess you had a deeper understanding. You just knew you had to go to a depth within and you had to let go. You have that energetic knowingness of some depth inside that you know you just have to let things go in a certain way and it’s all going to be okay. 

In other words, it required a further letting go or less dependency upon something that you had been depending upon. And that image led – the fact that you did this – led to this thing being able to magnetically come back. That’s a very good image. So that didn’t leave your heart flat, did it?

Jeane: No, it just was a little odd. It was a little stressful.

John: I would say that the way that it left you, because it hasn’t been solidified so much, it left you okay, but tenuous. That’s the word.

Jeane: I hadn’t quite pulled it together.

John: Yeah, it’s tenuous. You’ve done it, but you haven’t developed the auric presence with it yet.

Jeane: Yeah, you haven’t relaxed into it. 

John: You haven’t relaxed into it. You haven’t assimilated it.

Jeane: Yeah, I was out there waking up the policeman.

John: That is a trait that occurs all the time in the dreaming process. In other words, if you make a major breakthrough in a dream that actually affects things in the outer, and of course you don’t generally know that that’s what it’s doing, you just had something that was kind of a light bulb moment or whatever that occurred through the dream.

My tendency in a masculine way is to take that insight and be a little bookish with it, like I can apply it but I haven’t absorbed it yet. And you don’t just apply it in a bookish, projected way. You have to absorb it. You have to assimilate it. It is a shift, but it has to take on its own cadence of solidity. It has to be grounded. It has to be incorporated within the other part – an aspect of your overall being. 

I think what you dreamt was an interesting shift that leaves one a little aghast. It’s not really aghast, it’s a sensitive state. In other words, you haven’t caught your full wind with it yet. You were stopped, you were shocked, in that shock there was the fire of the heart. 

When you assimilate that your breath will change, but you’re not going to notice that. That’s just kind of what happens. Right now you’re breathing in a way that’s fragilely tenuous. Isn’t that interesting?

It’s interesting how that works. And so then when you come to own this, or ground this, it’ll take on its own strength again. And to do that it’s going to have to absorb things that are a little bit askew, and shattered, and scattered in the outer, even. 

There are things that caused it, and you have actually resolved it. You don’t know that you resolved it, but you have energetically resolved it. And, as you sit with this, you’ll get more solid with it.

And it’s not like you know that you figured it out because at this particular point you’re a little overwhelmed with the tenuousness. The breath is there, but it’s a tenuous, auric breath that develops more spatiality and more presence, but it hasn’t got its full power back. I mean, you were shocked. Getting shocked is a lot like going into a trauma.

But you had a strength to work with to where you cycled yourself back. You had the depth to cycle yourself back. You had the tools. You knew how to let go. You knew how to be still. You knew that all things pass. 

Well, in this particular case, you allowed an inherent magnetism of a completeness inside of yourself to pull it back together. That’s amazing.

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