A Fleeting Experience

20110702_ldp001In these two dream images, John struggles with his connections to the inner, or higher aspects, of his life. First he is shown is that he is disconnected when he tries to make decisions based only on his personal view. If he instead listens to his inner guidance, his decisions will better be in the flow of life. Then he sees how higher energies can overwhelm him; like any new experience, he needs to adjust to handle the increased potency of the experience. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So in the meditation dream, I am observing an unfoldment that is occurring before me. The issue is, if I stop this from taking place, is that what is meaningful? What I see happening is that a result I sought to avert or to keep from happening occurs anyway.

In other words, it’s like I have a notion as to how something is to unfold, and so I aim to try to make it unfold that particular way. But my best conceptions, based upon my mental abilities and understanding of things in the outer, it doesn’t unfold the way I want it to unfold. Through all of my efforts to steer it one way, this other occurs anyway.

And all of my efforts are done with a focus that’s attendant in the outer. I have no linkage to the inner. I’m just working off of my synapses, or my senses, my lower-self nature. And then I come to know that what happens isn’t as bad as it could have been. It is worse than I like, based upon my conceptualizations, and I did my best to try to keep it from happening, but it failed.

However, in the fullness of time, which takes into account the inner, and the central vibration coming through, fate reveals that this end result is okay. The setting is it’s like I’m feeling something in my bones, so to speak, that I can’t put my finger on, that is occurring and is flowing through me. And what I do put my finger on, or identify with, or relate to, is a bifurcation in terms of an outer expression.

And so in that outer expression, the best I can do to catch up with something that I feel in my bones has me trying to do something in a particular way, and to avert something in another particular way – of which I fail. And what I am trying to avert is a catastrophe or whatever that hits me anyway.

From an outer perspective I view this to be horrible, but in the fullness of time it’s something that is part of what is going on that I feel in my bones in the more general context. It isn’t so bad. It’s taken into account. It falls within the domain and the consciousness of the inner pattern that is unfolding, not within the precepts of my limited outer faculties.

So the meaning of this is I am being challenged to listen closely to my heart, and not to my head, when it comes to making an important decision in life. The reason it needs to be this way is because change always happens from the inner into the outer.

What I want is based upon physical perceptions, however, in the outer. This dream is showing me that when you follow the heart first and foremost, and adhere to what it infers, that everything in the end will work out fine because the heart is connected and linked to the inner awareness.

In the dream it looks like the outer that I feared might happen, and did my best to avert, occurs. However, it is okay in the fullness of time. Only mentally is this a significant disappointment. However, when the fullness of time is taken into account this temporal result is of no meaningful importance. In other words, it’s the little picture instead of the big picture.

Or to say it another way, when I think that I know what is going on, and this knowingness is based upon my limited sense perceptions which are correlated exclusively to the outer, and I base my life according to this as my standard of well being, that this approach is limited and is asking for problems.

This approach is unable to take into account faster, more conscious flow from within, which is often referred to as the will of God. However, the heart is big enough to encompass the whole. Therefore, only through the heart is it possible to inflect what is destined to enable the overall heartfelt awareness to occur.

So that’s the meditation dream.

And so then in my sleeping dream, I portray an image that indicates how difficult it is to connect the inner with the outer. What I see is chaotic. This energy from above, it’s like seeing it coming down from above, i.e., the inner, it kind of comes down and when it touches me, me being manifestation, too, there is an effect that propels me to a whole other place.

In other words, it comes down, it touches, and in that split second in that spark, or whatever, I just disappear, I just go to some other place. I can’t handle it. The image is one in which I do not seem to be able to embody the effect.

I have an insight, however, but because I can’t contain the vibration that occurs when the two briefly touch, there is collateral damage. In the dream, even my back aches. It is as if I just can’t handle what it takes.

In other words, when the space of the higher self, or whatever you would call it, this other consciousness, this awakened consciousness, it seems to be able to look around to see what happened to me. I am nowhere to be found. I’m disappeared. This brief encounter seems to have sent me propelling, as the energetic is more than I can handle.

However, for a moment there is a residual effect, because it did touch briefly, and my consciousness got heightened. Unfortunately, I can’t seem to live it because I’m off veering away from this inner, which is causing then the inner to even look and be standing there confused as to what happened to me.

I see this inner vibration looking around to try and determine what happened as it is committed to trying to establish this connection. What surprises me is the split second when I am flooded with consciousness and light: what arises from within my nature in creation seems to move so fast in its awakening that it breaks the intended connection – causing the inner into outer to be askew again.

What is going on? This seems to be what the inner consciousness must put up with in terms of this process where it comes and it touches manifestation and it has to be grounded so that the experience benefits the plane in manifestation.

I see myself overwhelmed by this effect. It seems like this is the way it’s supposed to be, naturally, and yet I’m overwhelmed by it. And that reaction blurs the effect or the result, the intended result. And my brief experiential moment then becomes fleeting, it’s as if I barely have it.

That’s like when I remember dreams. I can remember a dream and as soon as I depict it, it’s gone because the effect creates this jarring. It’s basically able to briefly describe something that’s more than what it can actually embody, and live, and handle. Yet it did pick up the spark for a brief moment.

So what is awakened within seems to be immediately covered up with the outer density. The reason is because the effect is either that overwhelming, and the reactive process must occur immediately as a defense mechanism. It is as if this defense mechanism to the inner vibration is needed in order to protect my density, or something, because I leave the scene so that I do not have to embody this essence.

And then from the perspective of the higher self, or the divine consciousness, this just doesn’t make any sense. It’s sitting there in confusion because I should be overjoyed to be back into something that is more whole. For a split second there was a connection and in the next instant I am nowhere to be found and the search is on again.

What is interesting is this is a seeking that comes from the higher consciousness I am calling the inner, and the lower consciousness that I am referring to as the outer or, in other dreams, as manifestation, seems to either be unable to handle this natural inner effect, or is unconsciously fighting a rearguard action to stay aloof or hidden from its effect.

The net result is that I am unable to embody and ground this essence, and I therefore am left with fleeting experiences. More than that seems to be too much for me to handle.

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