The Giving Process

PlantingaTree_0This imagery brings up an important aspect of spiritual development: the personal responsibility required. Being conscious doesn’t just mean being awake, it means developing a greater consciousness about our thoughts and actions. And when we begin to do that, then the issue of greater responsibility comes up, because a conscious act carries the weight (and energetic potency) of our choosing, whether it takes the form of a public action, or whether it’s an internal thought about another person or thing. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: I had some additional dreams but they just popped out. The only thing I remember is my impression: it feels like I’m maybe with you and there’s some energy in two different columns and I’m trying to figure out – it’s almost like which column to implant or kind of hang with. So I kind of plant one energy and then maybe the other behind it more, and then I bring one forward and set the other back.

I’m trying to figure out how these columns should go, almost like which one to be in more than the other. That’s the most I could describe it.

John: The theme of this last little bit of dreaming had to do with a type of taking a responsibility for energetic expression. In other words, you’re looking at it in terms of an unfoldment when you’re putting it into columns and stuff like that.

How you do that, and the way you do that, and what you do there, in terms of how your nature works in that area, is probably what you’re looking at in terms of little nuances that you have to take into account.

My way of doing it has been entirely different in that, because I am such a loner, I actually do not like, a part of me does not like, to get too intertwined with the affairs of others because when you get intertwined with the affairs of others you have to take responsibility for that intertwining. So, as a result, I tend to go the other extreme and hold back even more than is naturally necessary.

So what I have done is, over the years at Christmas, I never give anybody any presents. I kind of deny that process because it creates some sort of obligation, or stigma, or over-involvement that has an effect upon my sense of freedom.

However, that aspect, or that process, also denies me from a sense of involvement and freedom, and I choose to be denied from that sense of involvement and freedom so as not to have to contend with something that requires one to have to take responsibility in terms of the giving process.

Because the way the energetic works is that giving is more than just giving, giving is also in knowing how to properly intertwine and also, in some instances, know how to restrain or pull back. And, as a consequence over the years, I’ve never developed the acuity to know how to make those kinds of energetic shifts.

So it’s awkward for me to go to a party, for example, and leave, so I tend to hang out and be one of the last ones to leave because when I’m one of the first ones to leave then you have to go through the motions of saying goodbye or something. And if you’re one of the last ones you just kind of amble out the door as if it’s just what happens in a process of closure.

But when you’re one of the first ones to leave, it’s like you almost have to make your amends or something, energetically, and that’s something that I don’t like to have to contend with.

So I’m dreaming about this quality of how I have been, and how I’m switching to have to be, or how I am and then how I have changed to go along with having to be, or going along with being – because an aspect of the feminine has opened up – only to find out that in doing that, which is something I must have intuitively known but never really made conscious before, you have to take on the responsibility. If you do something like this you have to take on the responsibility of knowing how to pull back on the energy, or to even take back the energy that you have given if it’s over-the-top or inappropriate.

I guess I had never thought about that before because I conveniently avoided putting myself into situations in which that could possibly come up.

So, in the dream I have this, what looks like a pallet, or maybe a type of Christmas sleigh, and to begin with I’m just going through the motions. I have maybe a few things on the sleigh, but it’s nothing of any consequence because I don’t have my heart in it.

And then something changes and there is a lot of consideration that is put into it and, if anything, I might even be a bit over-the-top. And I guess I attribute that to maybe something changing in my feminine nature to do something like that because normally I would purposely remain and even, if necessary, stab myself by being in a state of avoidance to something like that.

And so since something has changed, I even provide or allow a little energetic space between the gifts so that they integrate without it being too big of a collage. In other words, it keeps a proper energetic distinction if I’m going astray when you’re causing this to occur.

But what is more interesting is because I’m putting attention into it, what I’m doing is having an effect that wouldn’t have been possible before. And, of course, it’s the type of effect that I tend to avoid, and tended to avoid, because when you have an effect that wasn’t possible before there is this other intangible that comes in, this other level of consciousness that can come in, in which you have to know how to toy with the clarity of the energetic to the point where, in some instances, you dumb it down, or take it back, or something, which is something I would have never guessed.

And yet, as I’m seeing it, it makes perfect sense as to why one has to do that, and also why I have avoided doing it, because I wasn’t ready to do that yet. My attention when it gets over-the-top is into the energetic that corresponds now to a need.

The significance of the dream is, in a way, I am going from one extreme to another. I’m putting my energetic nature into the process, when before I was merely going through the motions. The responsibility is complete, but with an energetic twist. I take back a kind of conscious clarity expression that is energetic when it goes over-the-top, or is something that a person isn’t able to properly appreciate yet.

It flickers there, but then something hides it again. And I hadn’t noticed that I knew how to do that before. By not participating, or not putting energetic heart into the process, having to take back that which is too much was not a consideration before.

It appears that I have been purposely avoiding the issue because we’re dealing with the energetic component – this is a necessary aspect in giving – so what I did in the past was one, either not doing it, or two, not having my heart in it, or three, creating a hidden plausible deniability so this can’t create an effect I would have to take responsibility for.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: The Giving Process

Leave a Reply