Alone in a Crowd

in-a-crowd-11900In a spiritual journey, there is always a point where a person feels alienated from people and the world around them. That’s a natural result of elevating one’s energies and, therefore, their viewpoint. Still, it is just a phase, as the importance of being human is in relating to the physical world and to other humans – from an elevated place. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So in my meditation dream I see myself amidst a group of people, and I notice that they’re all experiencing something in common. And they’re excited about it, they’re having a good old time with it, they’re enjoying it; I can’t relate to it.

What I am experiencing… well, it’s just energetically different. I can’t have that easygoing, haphazard, lackadaisical look on my face that they have because that just doesn’t fit, that just doesn’t comport to how it is that I’m seeing myself.

And they don’t see me at all. They just see this and everyone in this crowded scenario. It’s almost like a type of convention it’s so crowded. They all are this way. And so I can’t explain in the dream why it is that there’s this discrepancy, in other words, not able to relate to my comrades because, even though I’m amidst them, I seem to be preoccupied or holding an attention upon some other level separate from their collective imagery.

So I cannot share what I see with them, and I’m not interested in paying attention to that which they find as meaningful.

So, there is the awkward sensation that everyone around me is excited about what they are perceiving and looking at and whatnot, but I don’t relate. None of their interests are taken in by me because my attention doesn’t accommodate that. They indulge and are fascinated by what they collectively see, but I see myself acting different because I do not know how to convey the difference that I feel inside myself to them.

So that’s like the first dream. I have to interpret that along with the second dream.

And in the second dream, I am pursued by a man and a woman who are after something that I have. I go down into a cavern hoping to elude them but they catch up, and so there’s a little brief battle, but I’m able to outmaneuver and open a door and drop down even deeper. And plus I’m able to then close the door and lock it behind me.

So as I go into this deeper depth at the very bottom, where I now have to start going through tunnels again, I come across a person who tells me that in order for me to be able to go further I must let my body become less stiff because, as it is, I won’t fit through this area. It’s barely big enough.

I know that it’s big enough to get through because people get through it but, somehow or another, I’m feeling myself in such a way so I can’t imagine how I could possibly crawl through there.  And I have to make it through the space up ahead because that’s what is required, and I also know that this person, who has pretty much given me directions on how to do it, is now going in the opposite direction so it’s only a matter of time before they go up and open the door and help my pursuers after me.

I’d like to tell them not to do it, but I can’t quite bring myself to do that either because it’s the way it has to be.

The meaning is I’m experiencing what it is like to be unable to relate to what I am experiencing. I am unable to relate that to others, and they cannot perceive what is going on with me – so there’s this gap.

Consequently, based upon the two dreams, I am finding myself actually alone in a crowd yet I am seeking to be at a peace from my obsessions. From the two images it seems that I am unable to escape those obsessions. Obsessions are just part of what one contends with on the path and in the process, however I do seem at this point to be all alone in a crowd.

But the meaning of the dream is that a naturalness that I have gotten used to seems to have gotten lost or was taken away. There comes a time when the masculine reaches a type of clarity that what it perceives is no longer able to be communicated to others because their attention is, in terms of issues and consequences of what they see as important, in other words their clarity, is caught up in some other outer consequence.

They don’t perceive this and, as a result, that leaves you alone. When you’re alone you then lose what is important for being able to come closer to things because, even though they are caught in the reflections, those reflections do, in a very slow way, help to guide and shape something towards a depth of what is more meaningful.

And so, if you are shut off from the ability to relate to people who are caught in a reflective world, then you lose a naturalness. And without the naturalness, then you tend to become overly indulgent in the degree to which you obsess over whatever it is that you’re looking at.

So it’s important to be able to lose that, or to have a means that embraces the reflections, that doesn’t deny them, because if you start to deny them as if, okay, the outer is in the way, or meaningless, because the outer is all based upon reflections, then you pinch yourself off from your heart, a heart that is twined and linked to how things are in the outer.

It’s twined and linked to that because that was created and then man was created, and their principle of love was the basis upon which that was created, and you have to catch up with – that that leads to humility and all kinds of wonderful traits. And if you do not catch up with that because you repudiate it as something foreign, then you develop an inadvertency that has consequences. In other words, yes, it’s about isolation, and it’s about indulgences, but how is it about those, the isolation and indulgence?

And in my case, it’s about the isolation and indulgence because I am skewered off to one side and not properly contending with that which lies in front of me reflectively.

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