Being Too Forward

Cat_s-Eye-NebulaBecause of the way we learn and are educated in the cultural system, it is common for us to believe that we are in charge of things, or that we control and guide our lives. And, of course, in many practical ways, we do. But not in the greater scheme of things. Figuring out how to surrender ourselves to what “it” wants from us is one of the most subtle aspects of a spiritual journey, but an issue that we must, eventually, sort out. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: In the meditation dream I’m kind of like bantering, from a distance, at what the real issue is because I am aware that there’s a stable energy within, but the images that I’m confronted with kind of keep it at bay.

So I see myself as simply a person who is around others that do practices that tend to keep the average person from flipping out. Which means I have my indulgences that, in a roundabout way, slow things down.

And because I see myself as taking a feeling that is thrust upon me, that creates a concern, whether I like it or not, that I just have to surrender to the fact that if there is the stable energy that I sense, that I will catch up with it in the end.

The concern is whether or not I am affected by outer conditions such that there is an image of myself unable to let go because of the way of the physical senses. What I am describing is a format in which I am able to use an inner access to go within and access an energetic I can essentially immerse myself in, or bathe in. for inner strength; a strength that lies dormant behind all that exists. I have learned to not underestimate it because this is an energetic that may seem predictable and readily understandable, but I can’t be making that as an assumption or I will get stigmatized from reaching within to something more meaningful.

So that’s the first part of it. And in the second part of the meditation dream – which isn’t that esoteric in the way of describing it – I have an image of being up front in a hall where there is kind of a program going on.

In other words, by upfront means that you have people that have come and are sitting in seats, and I have been up front in the front of this hall, not sitting in the seat but just sitting up in front in between where the seats start and go back and where the stage is at.

And now, as time has progressed, people have come, they filled in the seats, and suddenly I realize that where I’m at isn’t comfortable. I don’t have a proper chair, just maybe a cushion that I can find, and that I’m rather forward and perhaps even presumptuous to just think I can stay there.

And it’s at that moment that I realize that there’s no seat around. When I went there, there were plenty of seats but now, all of a sudden, there’s no seat around. And so I wake up with the trepidation-feeling, acting like I don’t know what to do.

Do I go to the back or something? I can’t stand the feeling of suddenly finding myself in such an unnatural condition. Suddenly it’s become unnatural. I mean, to start off with there was nothing going on.

So the meaning of the dream is, the way I’m trying to position myself, whether naturally or otherwise, is the subject of this dream image. And, of course, the prior you could say had a little of this effect upon it, too, because I couldn’t seem to find that which I knew was latent and latently solid.

I seem to be seeing myself as trying to cope with a particular energetic condition which is: I am up front and in a forwardness which is awkward and unnatural. Because it’s not my place, my skin even kind of crawls – vibrationally speaking.

How do I let go without flipping out or experiencing a letdown? I am at a loss because I do not know what is missing. All I know is what isn’t present, just like in the first dream I knew that that energetic that’s important isn’t present. I know that it’s to be found, it’s there, but it’s not present – and that’s the case here.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Being Too Forward

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