A Kind of Closeness

needIt often seems as though what we seek is far, far away. But, in truth, it can be all around us and in us. We have spoken before about how this is a “feeling” universe and it cannot be grasped and connected to through the analysis and understandings of the brain – it must be connected to through the higher emotions – the reasons why we do what we do (if those reasons are unselfish). For John, these images point to him needing to embrace his feminine aspects in order to bring his life closer to the universal life. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: Now in my scenario I continue to try to make sense out of a greater overallness, having picked up on the components. And so the sense I’m left with seems to be, in terms of this dream, a kind of tone in which there’s something about a half of it is missing.

So this projects into the following dream, and in this dream I’m at a meal. Actually, there is the platter of things that have been placed out there and people have helped themselves to this platter of things, this area that you walk into like kind of in a service area, and then you go and you sit somewhere else.

It’s not in a restaurant or anything, it’s like in a normal house or something, but maybe it’s a house that’s putting on a reception or something, because you don’t eat in this room, you just go in and get what you want and then go back out somewhere else.

I’m coming back into this area having already helped myself to whatever is there, and I seem to be aware that there’s still another one-half of it that is still available, and that one-half is reflected, in terms of what’s there to be eaten, as being an egg – and I already ate half of the egg and the other half of the egg is there.

Now, I left the other half of the egg thinking that someone else might want it. I kind of had the impulse to take the whole egg, but I left half of it there. I seemed to know that I needed to have the whole meal, so now when I go back I’m still fighting that issue about whether I can take that other half.

Well, the other half is like a hardboiled egg cut in half, and it has the egg white, the white part, but not the yolk inside and, on that basis, I can take it and I’ll just put peanut butter on top. And it’s like as long as I’m telling myself I’m going to give this to others, or something, I could take it.

And so one way of looking at this is that what I’m doing, the liberties that I’m taking and the way that I’m trying to approach it, one of the miscues I make is there is something here that’s intended to occur, and it’s intended to occur for other reasons outside of myself. But I’m somehow denying myself that, which means I’m not being as aware as I need to be.

This is another kind of awareness. This is an awareness that has to do with being in a flow and allowing something to occur, taking on the recognition of what needs to be taken on. And when I do that, then it’s that kind of awareness that needs to awaken.

And if I don’t do it, then the image is as follows: a dog comes up and slobbers all over my face and I wake up. Which means one stays all blanded out, all discombobulated. And when I wake up, I’m very sad and I have this huge sinking feeling that something didn’t take place that should have taken place, or that I didn’t get the memo, or whatever it was.

And so what this all suggests is that I am not being attentive to inner impulses that take into account a larger schematic. I seem to be missing them because the imbalance, again, is a feminine imbalance in terms of the quality of the closeness. In other words, I’m weighing this closeness in a way that’s a little bit in keeping a distance element into it.

In other words, the ability to take into account what is necessary in terms of knowing the components but being able to then see all of that or, I should say, to embody all of that in the outer, that has to do with a quality that brings you into that, which is a closeness, and that’s a feminine trait.

In my particular case I have the schematics of things going on and I need a quality of closeness to the way I feel the outer to know whether that fits or not. And when one does this, this opens up a knowingness center, or a listening center, or a balance so that the inner inflections, which is spirit energy, are more grounded.

Now, when I say inner inflections as spirit energy, I’m speaking in a masculine way. Now, if I was to say inner inflections in a feminine way, it would have to do with the knowingness that just has a sensation sense of whether something is right or not.

So what I lack in the dream is the feminine force of nature – that input being there for me in relationship to the inflections that I carry inside. See, I carry these inflections inside. I have to hear this in relationship to how it resonates, how all of that comports, as a closeness into matter into the physical.

And so in the final dream, this dream just shows how there can be the split. In other words, you can go along and you can hit and miss, you can kind of catch it and then not really catch it.

In other words, on an ever greater theme level you’re trying to pull inner into outer, and outer into inner, and all of that sort of thing, so that “above” is the same as “below,” and it’s all one and the same.

Of course, the degree to which that doesn’t occur, or isn’t occurring, is like a split, and in this dream it shows that.

There’s this arcade machine and I’m standing off to one side and I just happen to have paused for a little bit to watch these two people playing on this arcade machine. One of them is standing there as the other one is playing, and I see this person put a whole bunch of coin into the machine so he has so many credits that are available to him.

And suddenly the machine malfunctions and eats all the money and shows that he’s done. And I say to this guy, “I saw that happen, and I’m willing to testify to that fact if you were to go to management and complain that you need to get your money back.”

And the meaning is, is that there’s something about an imbalance that I feel, in which the dream then reflects this condition. And the imbalance that I feel has to do with “everything is known, but nothing is for certain” kind of way of thinking, is a masculine way of saying something.

In other words, I can see all of the idiosyncrasies of things, but it needs to have a wholeness in the overallness of feminine nature that takes into account then all of the unconsciousness that’s embedded, that can then embrace the spirit energy. The inner and the outer then come together in that regard. I need to, somehow or another, live that as a condition. Instead one is reflecting, back and forth, the gap, or these outside parameters.

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