Feast or Famine

Earth connectedThe idea of feast or famine, or good times or bad, is a personal view. And a personalized view of the world is what cuts us off from our universal connections. Yes, all kinds of things happen to us that may appear positive or negative, yet it is our view of these events that determines how we navigate through them. In universal terms, everything works out for the best. If we can hold onto that view, our connections will help guide our passage. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: Now what’s interesting is you dreamt that one way, and I dreamt how that very same thing exists for me. Now, instead of a Penn and Teller image, I had this really short thing in which, in the dream, wherever I look that which I see is part of the scenario before me.

In other words, wherever I look there’s something that I see as part of the scenario before me, and what I see is opulence. I see everything is there. It’s just better than you can imagine, or it’s like one never had it so good.

And then immediately after this is the contrast in which there is a struggling to get out of a rut, the sensation being confused. And, as a result of this rut, or this lowering of the energy in which everything shrinks, there is not much confidence that’s inspired.

So what is going on is by going from feast to famine energetically, I am both in awe and in appreciation. In other words, the combination of the two cause you to catch up with the fact that you don’t need to dwell in the famine because nothing can happen, and in the feast side of yourself you can often times take that for granted.

And so if you can reconcile those two states you kind of have an awe and appreciation that wouldn’t otherwise be possible. In other words, you can suddenly have nothing and be okay as an option, or be sitting in which everything is there. In other words, you can have a karmic quagmire in both directions.

So what I have to do is I have to explain why this is that from another level of myself there is no place for even the slightest degree of hope when I’m in the quagmire because the heavily and burdened scenario is stifling. And yet that’s just a barrier that I have placed because on the other side of this barrier everything is a feast, everything is there.

What this is doing is, what am I doing in terms of one’s heart to cause this Jekyll and Hyde feast or famine perspective? So the lesson for such a contrast is to see if I’m able to conduct myself with dignity and grace no matter how it is that I find myself.

And the meaning is, is can I remain humble and grateful at all times, or am I just a fair weather guy? The two extreme contrasts are intended to flush that out. The test is to see if I am able to stay connected to what is real – no matter what. Or if I am no better off than the mind/sense realities which are corresponding to the environment, the outer environment that is.

In other words, do you buy into that, or do you recognize the expansion/contraction between feast and famine and am able to let go of either place and be somewhere more?

So then this dream gets taken into something that is akin to your type of trauma. It doesn’t maybe dwell with it. There is something about your type of trauma that opens up where one can see this, because of the patterns and repeats and whatnot, one can see how this is something that goes way back for you and then it still has its thrashing about antics in the present; as a consequence, this keeps you reverbing.

Well, I can’t look at mine at that kind of depth – maybe because I have a reluctance to do that -but I can kind of get a hint about it. And in the dream, the setting is that my mother is ill and is in another area from where I am at.

In other words, I’m nearby, but I’m refusing to go over to see her, or I’m reluctant to do that, or just am not doing it. Also what is nearby is the teacher. He has also come into this nearby area, but I haven’t seen him. I don’t see him.

Instead I seem to have this expectation that if he’s there, then he should stop and visit my mother, save me the trouble because I’m not going to do that. And then, at some point in the dream, I realize that this is a strange expectation. I’m the one who should visit my mother.

And I even have the impression that if I do that, that is when the teacher might even drop by, actually dropping by while I’m doing that, otherwise a distance is apt to remain. Isn’t that a strange dream? So you can see how that is. It’s my mom keeping a certain aspect of something shut off.

The theme of the night is looking at the feast and famine aspect of my being. The dream is suggesting that when I cut myself off from a natural connection I miss out on a valuable linkage. The cutting off of myself is the famine side of my being.

What I am doing is I’m cutting myself off from a vital connection that I expect to be there for me and that isn’t simply being realistic. This dream is indicating that I have a stigma as a result of an attitude that I carry. This attitude is keeping me from coming into touch with the well being of an aspect of my soul. Or to say this another way, by holding back I’m standing in the way of a togetherness I need.

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Inner Turbulence

turbulence-of-the-mindWe all have some inner trauma – sometimes we understand what it is, other times it lurks in the background and we’re never sure when it’s at play. The trouble is, it can prevent us from what we want, both in our daily outer life and in our spiritual journey, by adding a layer of fear to our inner processes. This struggle can cause an inner turbulence. The good news is, our dream images can show us that this is the issue we face, thereby helping us make steps forward. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: It’s hard for me to remember my dreams last night. I just kind of pulled out one.

I know that part of the dream it was like I was looking at something like the show that we had last night [Penn & Teller], but the feature I was looking at was the meet and greet after the show. So I just remember seeing like Penn on one side and Teller are on the other side with people grouped around them. That seemed to be what interested me the most.

So in the dream it feels like I’m a young man. I’m a newspaper reporter, but I don’t want anybody to know that, and I’ve seen something and it’s possible the police could even want me for whatever I’ve seen. I don’t remember what I’ve seen.

But I’m in this odd structure. It’s almost like the tower of a castle, but a tower that goes down, so it’s like it has different levels and I’ve kind of snuck in the bottom of the tower. It’s like a room, actually. It’s decorated and it has different levels that go up that are like windows on the wall and it’s like I can kind of scale the windows until I get almost to the top.

But then this boy that lives there and starts to come down the spiral staircase, he can see me so I have to go all the way back down to the bottom and then pretend like I’m just one of the tourists that was looking around and got lost because I don’t want him to figure out I’m a reporter. I don’t want him to figure out the police are looking for me.

And the first few times I can kind of hide from him, but then he sees me and then he has his dad, who’s like a watch keeper there, and I just have to play dumb like I’m a lost tourist and I have to kind of get him to ignore me.

And then whenever they’re not looking I try to scale the building or do something that helps me get out of the room but, at the last minute before I can get out, something always happens that draws their attention back.

And so it just kind of reverbs like that a lot until I feel like I can maybe kind of actually, since they both see me at some point and they haven’t figured out I’m a reporter, or the police are looking for me, I feel like maybe I can saunter slowly up the stairway and make my way out – but the boy is always suspicious.

John: Well this is a repeat dream in terms of the energetic, and the energetic is that you carry some sort of trauma or shock in your nature that keeps you estranged. In other words, your ability to take and face something is limited by a quality of fear or something, a type of fear that stands as a stigma in the way.

And this fear, whenever you come close to letting go of it, something comes up again that causes you to retrench, which means that this part, or quality, or heaviness that you carry, that is a no-longer-remembered event but is an energetic effect upon you, keeps you from making a breakthrough through this particular side of yourself.

So, in other words, it’s like a reporter is a person who is meant to be able to take into account something, or to see something, or to be able to take it down and make it knowable.

However, you can’t do that because there is something that has happened during this process in the past in which you have brought on yourself something that will do you harm and, because you have a fear with regard to that, that then shuts down your ability to go beyond a particular limitation.

In other words, this fear comes up and it holds you back. But this is like, it’s like a reverb, too, you peek over, you fall back, you peek over, you fall back. There’s the sense that something can happen to you, and yet at the same time you are able to report or to see something, yet you can’t quite get out or make the connection.

I suppose one of the better ways of describing this would be to make up an analogy in which something like this is established. In other words, you could have a particular consciousness that has developed over a course of time, that others saw, but because they didn’t understand it were inclined then to determine that whatever it was that you were doing was bad and needed to be stopped.

And so you’re torn between wanting to, and needing to, do this as a form of consciousness and awakeness that you feel is important. You’re torn between that versus that if you’re seen doing it, and if you’re caught doing this, that then it will bode badly for your well being, your physical well being. There’s a danger there.

As so a consequence this leaves you with a stigma. What’s interesting is to now incorporate the theme of the dreaming last night on a bigger level that came through me, and the theme of the dreaming is feast or famine.

And so the famine side of yourself is what you contend with when you fall back and aren’t able to go beyond the stigma, this trauma-like stigma. The feast side of yourself is possible when and if all of that can be set aside as no longer being a barrier or a weight that plays upon you.

The type of trauma you had was something that really kind of had a type of very plaguing aspect to it, and it was so dense, and dominant, that it choked off a flow. It caused you to go into a state of self-denial and, therefore, put you into a famine side when the feast side was right there to open up.

The Penn and Teller thing where you were observing that has to do with an aspect of how do you… in other words, you’re fascinated by something, that’s the reporter side of yourself. But then how do you gain a closeness to that? Because there’s also the stigma side of yourself which, in the dream, is the police are after you energetic.

So that Penn and Teller image tweaked a subtle vibration that then got extended into the repeated dream format in which in this dream this is what is keeping you from coming into your fullness of being.

Now what’s interesting is to look at the fact that by not coming into your fullness of being, the reciprocal nature is what’s interesting to look at. The fact that you’re trying to peek and settling back, and trying to peek and settling back.

Also, knowing how energy flows, what this does is this creates reverberation that comes across in other ways, and it creates what is called a complex between your feminine side and your masculine side in which there is this acting up turbulence based upon falling back over the consequence of a stigma-repressed energetic that still dictates over your opening freedom, or breaking through.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Inner Turbulence

The Light Side

anthonmy760It may seem a great barrier that a spiritual journey takes a long time. There are many reasons for this, but a basic one is that we must adjust to the higher energies we connect to. This changes us in a cellular way, as we rebuild ourselves because of our energetic connections. Over time we can handle more and more, and we receive greater insights and knowings. It may take time but, from a certain perspective, there’s nothing else to do during this life. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: The dream that corresponds to your dream, I wrote it up almost as if it has very little semblance of dream energy in it, or of dream images in it. It’s mostly the energetic.

And perhaps what you said will help pull it together, too, because trying to make the dream alive, as opposed to the experience inside, is now starting to become more and more difficult.

But the best way I can describe that is that I noticed that on a higher, more speeded-up level of my being, where the need exists to try and decipher what is going on, that I am jangled because of having to speed up.

So I spend the evening in my sleep looking at the things in life that are grounded and, in this comparison, look over at the state of affairs in which I am spinning and more imbalanced. In other words, I’m looking back and forth. I’m trying to reconcile the difference. I’m trying to take in this higher speed flow and ground it so it doesn’t throw me for a loop.

Being speeded up is invigorating, but it is also discombobulating when correlated to everything else, that is everything else in the outer. To reach a point within where I have an innate awareness that is able to appreciate the inner flow more directly, and to be more free because I am closer to a sight from this state, I have to be able to handle such a flow.

Because I am not used to it, the effect tends to space me out. I have to concentrate harder to function in the outer. This is what it is like when this area of greater spatiality comes through. It affects our way of conducting ourself in a mind/sense and ego. It takes a while to be able to handle it or, to say it another way, it takes time getting used to handling the light side of our being. It is from the light side of our being that we access a natural knowingness.

In my dream what I am doing is trying to reconcile the two states. Usually I fall back upon what is familiar to me and avoid disturbing myself and having to contend with a more speeded-up side of my being. However, if I am to keep from being a victim of the collective energies around me, that are on the plane of outer reflection and corresponds to the mind/sense state of understanding, I’m going to have to figure out how to make this shift.

This is a shift that takes me into a knowingness that is more speeded-up than the plane of mind/senses which dumb things down. And when you’re more speeded-up then you can’t ground, or you can’t think, and you can’t focus, which is evidence of being off the ground.

To begin with I’m trying to make sense of this greater overallness in relationship to the mind/senses of outer life. This doesn’t work out very well. I’m having trouble functioning. I am not able to contain this energy. I’m struggling because I am not letting go of a world in which I rely upon my mind/senses.

I have not yet learned to flow in an overallness through this heart knowingness. To do so is to be more upon the level of the world’s soul. To do so is to become accustomed to a reality that is more open because it is free from the personal mind/sense/ego, or more free anyway. It’s always a question of degree.

So I find myself in a conundrum. It is as if there is an entity in creation that has a fear of dying, and if this were to happen, so to speak, from the perspective of what feels like a type of entity energy, it would lose its mind/sense/ego reflective personality. To the degree that I carry the solution, I struggle and go through problems that limit who I am meant to be.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: The Light Side