We all have some inner trauma – sometimes we understand what it is, other times it lurks in the background and we’re never sure when it’s at play. The trouble is, it can prevent us from what we want, both in our daily outer life and in our spiritual journey, by adding a layer of fear to our inner processes. This struggle can cause an inner turbulence. The good news is, our dream images can show us that this is the issue we face, thereby helping us make steps forward. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
Jeane: It’s hard for me to remember my dreams last night. I just kind of pulled out one.
I know that part of the dream it was like I was looking at something like the show that we had last night [Penn & Teller], but the feature I was looking at was the meet and greet after the show. So I just remember seeing like Penn on one side and Teller are on the other side with people grouped around them. That seemed to be what interested me the most.
So in the dream it feels like I’m a young man. I’m a newspaper reporter, but I don’t want anybody to know that, and I’ve seen something and it’s possible the police could even want me for whatever I’ve seen. I don’t remember what I’ve seen.
But I’m in this odd structure. It’s almost like the tower of a castle, but a tower that goes down, so it’s like it has different levels and I’ve kind of snuck in the bottom of the tower. It’s like a room, actually. It’s decorated and it has different levels that go up that are like windows on the wall and it’s like I can kind of scale the windows until I get almost to the top.
But then this boy that lives there and starts to come down the spiral staircase, he can see me so I have to go all the way back down to the bottom and then pretend like I’m just one of the tourists that was looking around and got lost because I don’t want him to figure out I’m a reporter. I don’t want him to figure out the police are looking for me.
And the first few times I can kind of hide from him, but then he sees me and then he has his dad, who’s like a watch keeper there, and I just have to play dumb like I’m a lost tourist and I have to kind of get him to ignore me.
And then whenever they’re not looking I try to scale the building or do something that helps me get out of the room but, at the last minute before I can get out, something always happens that draws their attention back.
And so it just kind of reverbs like that a lot until I feel like I can maybe kind of actually, since they both see me at some point and they haven’t figured out I’m a reporter, or the police are looking for me, I feel like maybe I can saunter slowly up the stairway and make my way out – but the boy is always suspicious.
John: Well this is a repeat dream in terms of the energetic, and the energetic is that you carry some sort of trauma or shock in your nature that keeps you estranged. In other words, your ability to take and face something is limited by a quality of fear or something, a type of fear that stands as a stigma in the way.
And this fear, whenever you come close to letting go of it, something comes up again that causes you to retrench, which means that this part, or quality, or heaviness that you carry, that is a no-longer-remembered event but is an energetic effect upon you, keeps you from making a breakthrough through this particular side of yourself.
So, in other words, it’s like a reporter is a person who is meant to be able to take into account something, or to see something, or to be able to take it down and make it knowable.
However, you can’t do that because there is something that has happened during this process in the past in which you have brought on yourself something that will do you harm and, because you have a fear with regard to that, that then shuts down your ability to go beyond a particular limitation.
In other words, this fear comes up and it holds you back. But this is like, it’s like a reverb, too, you peek over, you fall back, you peek over, you fall back. There’s the sense that something can happen to you, and yet at the same time you are able to report or to see something, yet you can’t quite get out or make the connection.
I suppose one of the better ways of describing this would be to make up an analogy in which something like this is established. In other words, you could have a particular consciousness that has developed over a course of time, that others saw, but because they didn’t understand it were inclined then to determine that whatever it was that you were doing was bad and needed to be stopped.
And so you’re torn between wanting to, and needing to, do this as a form of consciousness and awakeness that you feel is important. You’re torn between that versus that if you’re seen doing it, and if you’re caught doing this, that then it will bode badly for your well being, your physical well being. There’s a danger there.
As so a consequence this leaves you with a stigma. What’s interesting is to now incorporate the theme of the dreaming last night on a bigger level that came through me, and the theme of the dreaming is feast or famine.
And so the famine side of yourself is what you contend with when you fall back and aren’t able to go beyond the stigma, this trauma-like stigma. The feast side of yourself is possible when and if all of that can be set aside as no longer being a barrier or a weight that plays upon you.
The type of trauma you had was something that really kind of had a type of very plaguing aspect to it, and it was so dense, and dominant, that it choked off a flow. It caused you to go into a state of self-denial and, therefore, put you into a famine side when the feast side was right there to open up.
The Penn and Teller thing where you were observing that has to do with an aspect of how do you… in other words, you’re fascinated by something, that’s the reporter side of yourself. But then how do you gain a closeness to that? Because there’s also the stigma side of yourself which, in the dream, is the police are after you energetic.
So that Penn and Teller image tweaked a subtle vibration that then got extended into the repeated dream format in which in this dream this is what is keeping you from coming into your fullness of being.
Now what’s interesting is to look at the fact that by not coming into your fullness of being, the reciprocal nature is what’s interesting to look at. The fact that you’re trying to peek and settling back, and trying to peek and settling back.
Also, knowing how energy flows, what this does is this creates reverberation that comes across in other ways, and it creates what is called a complex between your feminine side and your masculine side in which there is this acting up turbulence based upon falling back over the consequence of a stigma-repressed energetic that still dictates over your opening freedom, or breaking through.
To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Inner Turbulence