A Home Within

FRACTALHEARTA phrase you may hear when speaking of a spiritual life is the idea of living life from the inside out. From the image in his meditation dream, John is able to bring together the seeds of this idea from a number of different paths, yet all pointing to the same thing: if we can listen and act from our inner guidance, our inner knowing, we become more in tune with life and the universe. When our life is lived by reacting to outer events, and using only our brains to rationalize our next steps, we act in a disconnected way. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So, you asked, of course, what time was the crash? And I said it was between 2:30am and 3:00am, and that I had come out of my meditation image dream or whatever you call it, at about 12:30am. And it took me two hours to write up what only constitutes a page, because it’s so difficult, and so profound, and it’s so unusual for me now, that it takes that long for me to wrestle with the vibration to kind of get it so that it kind of makes sense.

And as I kind of glanced at it I’m not sure that I even know what I wrote down because it’s outside of my skill set or something, in the outer, in my normal dense state, which is more crashed I guess, naturally crashed, or at least I’m not catching up with the naturalness right.

So, what I wrote down, like I say, it’s less than a page, two-thirds of a page, that I fumbled over for two hours, is that in the meditation dream, I have gotten to a state, in which there’s a stillness within, that I feel, well, which I express, or define, as in the following experience.

And in this following experience image, there is a horse that I am riding, and this horse has reached a depth, in other words, it’s kind of a lower area inside of something – or which is really a lower area inside of myself is probably another way of characterizing it – and in this place, everything is accessible.

And when I’m in this place, I’m at ease with everything and I relate naturally to life. And from this place, I even have a guidance that exists. So, you know, it really feels whole, it feels good, and of course I’m not used to this horse getting to this depth, that the horse usually only gets to somewhere in between.

Now in terms of understanding this, you have to use a little natural symbolism. A horse is, in a dream, a symbol of power. And so, in this dream, this power transports me into a depth where there is a wholeness, I mean it’s all inside of myself, of course. In reaching this wholeness, or home within, I find myself to be in touch, or in a state, or maybe you’d even call it a station yet to come, where the sound of manifestation, that sound therein, is my guidance.

Now, this is a sound that you could hear ringing in your ears when you are in a certain stillness or quietness. And it has gotten these days that I can stop at anytime during the day, no matter what’s going on, and just pause for a second and listen and there it is. That sound, in its subtle acuity, is a guidance. It just sounds like a buzzing, or a ringing or whatever now, but it is a guidance.

It somehow or another effectuates, in an unseen way, or unknown way, or a way that I can’t just relate in terms of mind, sense, and ego, how that is directing a greater wholeness inside of myself, but that’s how it works.

My understanding of how to meditate is changing, because I live such a chaotic outer life and I have this habituation to go on streaming tangents inside myself, wrestling with this issue or that issue that’s bugging me or bothering me. When I sit down, if don’t turn that off, then that just goes and goes.

And the only way I know how to turn it off is to pause, glance back at that sound, and let that sound transport me somewhere – and then something happens. And I’m shocked that it can work that way because you’d be convinced that I had crashed, so to speak, to such a degree that there’s no way I’m going to be able to pull, or handle, or pick any of this out.

This process incorporates a little bit of the understanding that comes from the Chisti Order, in which, if the body is quiet, if the body is still, the mind stops. Well, I’m not quite saying it all, but also that echo from that sound of the universe, is able to take over.

It also incorporates one of the techniques that is taught in Raj yoga, which is how to listen to the inner sound. In other words, there’s a light technique, a sound technique, a nectar technique, and a vibrational technique, where you can immerse yourself into a vibration. And that vibration that you immerse yourself in kind of sweeps in those other three characteristics, that kind of come up when you do that.

And I suspect you could probably draw some analogies in relationship to how that works, in relationship to the idea of how the Naqshbandi meditation works, in which you feel something that you love, which is a vibration that’s very subtle and very amazing, and then you put everything into that and you just keep putting everything into that.

That would be the noun aspect, or the Word as it’s called, if you use the term out of the Bible—in the beginning was the Word, the Word with God—only this time, they’re using the word, the noun, and Chisti as the principle of love. And you put yourself into that vibration, and when you put yourself in that vibration you go somewhere and it’s called the Dhyana meditation. You don’t have any memory of it, you’re just really soothed. But you can have a memory of these things.

So I’m starting to see how all of this stuff kind of comes together as a result of a dream like this. And it really did help listening to your dream, where you maintained, 90% of your time, you dismissed the wispy part and you spent the rest of your time dwelling with the consequences of having to contend with being crashed. And that dominated over your whole frame of reference.

So, anyway, that was my meditation dream. It stopped after me realizing that this is where my guidance comes from is through the sound. And the reason why it comes through the sound is the sound has an affinity to the light. And so the two come together, the inner and the outer is light and sound come back together – and that’s how consciousness emerges.

That’s why it emerges at the interval of the breath, and not on the breath coming down or the breath going up. That’s why that interval is more dynamic because that’s the zone, that’s the important zone, especially where the in-breath turns to the out-breath, where the sound is carried back to the light. Wow.

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