The ego wants what it wants, whether some type of recognition, or the fulfillment of a personal view of who we are, or what we might become, or what we might “deserve.” Every one of us wrestles with this. We may think it drives us toward something, but it actually prevents what is really possible. If we are to surrender to our spiritual journey, we need to let the universe show us what it wants from us. Said another way, if we look to the universe for guidance, we can’t filter the results. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
John: This next one is very short, but full of information.
In this next dream, it’s like I’m in some sort of work area, like on a job or something. I feel really kind of out of it. I can’t seem to plug in or feel natural there, and this whole thing gets intensified when I realize that no one even wants to work with me.
And I can hardly blame them. I do not accept guidance very well. In other words, when told what to be doing, I seem to get all twisted, or not seem to know how to hear it right, or to know how to make it happen. So it’s like, “Gosh, how can anyone work with something like that? It’s amazing that I can even hold the job.”
And as a result, I just don’t stay on course with whatever it is that I am told that I need to do and, of course, this causes me to develop a self-image problem, an insecurity. And to try to compensate through that, I have to focus harder to try to stay alive.
To be like that means that my perception of myself is not operating in a secure and balanced way. I see this when I go to a fishing hole and find another person laying claim to the place. He doesn’t have the means to catch the fish, and I am the one who is there to make the most of the result. Very strange, in other words, right?
So how is this to be understood? Well, the meaning is, the pattern is occurring because I am feeling the need to thrust myself into some way or another in life. I am only becoming more unconscious when I do this. The way that I’m doing it causes me to become unconscious, because I’m taking it in as a particular way that’s a little bit pushing off me or something, and orients this to an attention upon one’s self.
To extricate myself from the image, I need to feed the part of myself that requires the attention. I need to feed it in a slightly different way. I need to feed it in a way that where one appears to give it what it wants, but knows at the same time that it really doesn’t want it. And if one can do that sort of thing, then you can cause a letting go to take place.
In other words, I must not see myself as the beneficiary of this or that, or the ego will destroy one. The self-gratification is put to an end. That is what one needs to do in order to graciously awaken and deflect the effect of this holding-on mannerism. To fail to do this, as you awaken, is to develop a sense of power energy that’s like a monster, instead of something that has a humility, and a kindness, and softness; you lack the heartfelt humility.
Now, the meaning of both dreams is the same. The two dreams are correlated because beneath all of this is a part of myself that is in the limelight. In other words, that’s what I’m thrown at is a peculiarity to have to contend with in order to let go, prove that one can let go, prove that one can not have to take on any airs.
Because one cannot be true to one’s self if you get caught, in that regard, to what is going on and then having to associate to yourself something in that manner or way, as a way of carrying or seeing yourself. The key to becoming a more conscious person is to know how to let go of appearances and realize that I am not the real doer. If I do not realize this, then I step in the way of the heart and become like a beast.
This is an outer quality, so what is this looking like on an inner level? On an inner level, my teacher is causing more and more of a real human being, in terms of myself, to awaken and come through. I cannot take the credit for what is evolving, when it is his focus upon me that is the difference.
In this dream, I make the acquaintance of a person who is moving very fast and only has time to pause for a second. Kind of like how I can get too. This person is working as an aide for a U.S. senator.
I seem to be questioning why he would do such a thing, and he replies, “For the recognition. Isn’t that the reason, and the only reason, why you do anything?” And the way he says that, it has the ring of being a foregone conclusion behind everything that is done.
Then, of course, again this kind of is a sharp way of cutting to the theme of it all, of showing how hard it is to be an empty vessel and let consciousness flow through from a deeper inner depth, without getting in the way and, thereby, causing a stigma.
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