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Archive for May, 2015

yin_yang-95Ann has a dream of stark contrasts: a black stillness and a pure white. And when an image heads down a staircase, or goes from higher to lower, it implies exactly that – that she is delving into the denser parts of herself. What does she find there? The fundamentals of masculine and feminine aspects in their pure form. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Ann: I had kind of an interesting dream. The first part of this dream, I think I’d been moving around. You know, you’re moving around in the dream but, all of a sudden, there’s this massive set of stairs, big marble stairs or something and I’m walking down these stairs.

And, all of a sudden, when I get to the bottom of these stairs I had a moment of complete stillness and I was almost like shocked. I mean there was no noise, there was nothing. It was like complete, absolute stillness and it was just absolutely black, and there was just nothing.

That’s the first time in my dream I’ve experienced that. And then I looked and in this blackness all of a sudden there was this pure white, and it was absolutely pure white, and it was almost like this marble slate or something; just absolutely pure white.

And so that was what I dreamt.

John: What you were doing is you were going into the denseness of yourself, going down into the denseness of yourself. And your ability to do that got to the point where you were able to catch up with… See, the black symbolizes the color and light of the feminine path, strictly a feminine path, kind of catching up with an understanding or an awareness.

And that feminine path has a charge over things created in God’s image as the lower realm. When you’re able to do that, in other words, as long as you still have your moods and whatnot you’re still going to have your attitudes, and as long as you still have your reactions you’re still going to have things that you’re not going to be able to accept. You’re not going to get to the white.

And the white is the clarity, the seed, of so much more in the wholeness. That’s the light and the color of the masculine, a masculine now that is just pure masculine without having taken on the traits of the black of the feminine.

So you catch up with the depths of your role, responsibility, and wholeness in the overall, in the outer, by taking on and embracing all of that. And when you’re able to embrace all of that, because your moods and whatnot will keep you from being able to properly embrace all of that, to embrace all of that you have to accept, you have to forgive, you have to have the light or the quality of the white of the seed of the universe.

This is a dream that is still process-oriented. However, it does have ladled into it a very scary part that was a little bit of what was going on earlier this week. That’s why it’s a good dream for what we have been talking about.

And that scary part is when you’re going down into the depths of yourself, into the blackness, you see the end of all of that. Just like this world is created in God’s image and yet, in a density, it appears to have a physical construct to it, and when you see the end of all of that you see it as a stillness, as a void.

And you could be at a point where you then turn around and let go, drop it, so to speak. And what are you dropping? I don’t know, because you hit the stillness. You let go. But when you let go, you were flooded then with seeing the light, the whiteness of things.

This is a part of something that’s going to take a while to noodle out, too, because there’s a lot in here. In other words, what you’ve done is you’ve taken what I have said, in relationship to getting to the stillness, and very subtly there’s another wrinkle here, another wrinkle into this equation. You’re adding that wrinkle and I’m not just sure what all that suggests and implies.

There’s a certain vibration in the air and how you’re able to denote it, and noodle it out, has resulted in this set of information being presented to you. And within this set of information that’s presented to you is another little aspect that I can’t quite put my finger on completely.

Whether it’s part of it in a greater way, whether it’s just all part of process exclusively, or whether it also has this revelational step. Now, there is something to this in terms of seeing. In other words, when you’re going down in the blackness and the darkness and the depths of yourself you’re going down subjectively. And when you’re suddenly bringing in the white light, you’re bringing in a seeing.

Now how do I take the seeing that you’re having that has accessed a stillness? How does that dynamic work in terms of what I am now looking at as visionary, as outside of beginning and end? In other words, premonition-al now?

Because when you hit that white light with having gone in and hit the stillness in your way of fully catching up with the revelation of things in manifestation, now you are in a state having done that where conceivably you will not be taking and having anything left out yet to have to deviate with, and now you hit the seed light of things.

Doesn’t that imply that you can now take the seed light of things and not have to twist it and turn it in some fashion for the beneficence of yourself in a darkness? Because that darkness is a stillness. There’s not some ripple there going on by which you would still be taking whatever you think to know into some other aspect.

This is another good way of saying it isn’t it? All in a dream.

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325quasara_1Humans live in motion and seek, through their life, the deep inner stillness. The stillness, from which all movement arises, seeks to connect to that movement through the human. We are the only creature refined enough to offer creation that service. We are part of its unfolding, not the other way around, which makes what each of us does with our lives of great importance to the whole. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: The way this has been coming across is: beginning and end are one and the same, up and down, inner and outer, above and below, basically reflections of the same time.

There’s only a oneness. There are not two gods. There’s not this Satan and this other, and each religion tends to have maybe has evil another separate stream of evolution. Really what we consider evil is usually just ignorance.

That causes me to ponder maybe even what is considered evil is just a different octave of ignorance – which means it’s all God yet. It’s all a letting go, because in the process of redemption and awakening you’re having to go into the depths of yourself in order to scale to the heights of yourself.

And that whole sensation is a sensation of taking a journey of which there is no beginning and there is no end. You are always complete. At some point you realize that it’s all complete. The whole thing was done as part of an eyes and ears or something way of happening, and so it’s the journey that’s real.

But now I’m not so sure, because even in the end the journey has to end, or otherwise you’re continuously trying to make things subtler and subtler and subtler in a greater and greater more consciousness. And therein will lie a problem. And thus I’m sitting and seeing what might be meant when it says that no one group, or tariqa or whatever it is, can do this work.

If you took all of the answers, if there was a total of only 100 questions in the universe, and you took and were able to compare all of the notes and put it all together, you could get 100. You could include everything in it, and when you include everything in it you have an absolute total stillness.

Or otherwise you’re still going to have the greater jihad of this and you’re always going to have the battle of the sects. And yet the differentiation between them when you back up to the storyline seems pretty, pretty trite. And yet out of that has devolved a raging war over there.

This is an interesting paradigm to catch up with, and it caused me to ponder the whole quality that some people have that is a rebellion, that is a rebellion and a push off towards what they see everybody else going through.

And it’s almost as if they have a repugnance towards that and that repugnancy from that end, call that a direction or an end, is no different than the repugnancy of someone who thinks that they’ve got everything figured out, they’ve got the best wife, the best house, the best job, the best bank account, whatever it is that makes them feel all hunky-dory in that direction.

The other is a sense of security from a sense of knowing something somehow, someway, and maybe there’s a quality typically of a cynicism in both directions. You pull the plug on both of those and that inflects something so much more; so, so, so much more.

Thus you come to understand the meaning of forgiveness. And the forgiveness is part of the letting go that opens everything up. But if there’s still going to be the holding on, in some little context, maybe I’ll still keep a little piece of the action there just in case, just in case. It’ll give me a good jacket if the weather turns bad.

And then all of a sudden I went through the crackup, and the crackup was the shock of the stillness. That was my crackup, suddenly realizing that you weren’t always constantly trying to have spiritual solutions to everything, that there’s no such thing as that. There’s just the letting go.

The exposure is very, very important. In other words, you’ve got to be in the world, but not part of it, so to speak. You’ve got to have that exposure. You’ve got to walk through that door somehow, jumping off into that void. Unbelievably scary. Just the shock of that obliterates the dreaming on the inner dream level, just like the shock of the senses hitting when you open your eyes obliterate the dream level of the sleep.

And the same can be said in another way. Now that I am lucky enough to be able to meditate and have experiences in the meditation, that sets a particular octave. I don’t necessarily understand it. A part of that octave is the stillness, and then there’s the contamination in it.

And then when I go to sleep and have a regular sleep dream, then I get a reconstituting kind of attempt to align it. Then when I wake up and have pulled it out, then I have to put it into a context of “in the world, and out of the world” or otherwise it’s bookish. It doesn’t do anything then, either.

So this is more like the process. What we dream now, we dream for the future. And what was dreamt in the past we are living that now. Thus we are at this point where we’re at this crescendo of things coming together. And how is that going to be?

There always has to be something more. Who knows what it’s going to be. With my eyes open I don’t see the revelation everywhere. I only am seeing it in infinitesimal glimpses.

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Roy Connelly

Roy Connelly

As described here, we can think of letting go as a process of cleaning out unnatural behaviors. That means cleansing ourselves of our attachments, our biases, our defense mechanisms – all the remnants of our personal ego. Of course that sounds difficult, but it is merely the process of making one more thing conscious in us, rather than unconscious. It takes a lifetime, of course, but if we’ve understood what’s really going on, there’s nothing else to do. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: Now this idea of contamination is an ancient, ancient principle and even the Catholic Church understands this if you go far enough back. It used to be believed, or is believed that… see, the Catholic Church has this practice where they do what is known as canonizing saints. And they discovered that if the person has become pure, or has totally let go, has totally purged in some fashion, that you can exhume the body after five, ten years, and it shouldn’t have decayed.

But if there is an imperfection, the body will be all rotted and decayed. And then, of course, out of that came this whole thinking of how to preserve the body, to slow down this process of decay. And so that’s where we developed the embalming practices and stuff like that.

And in the history of people who wanted to be viewed as having gotten somewhere, in some sort of sense of consciousness, they may have duped the system to a certain degree, and so it became known that if you dig the body up after ten years and it’s all decayed, well, I guess they weren’t quite what they were purporting themselves to be.

Which has caused one to then ponder, what is, where is the contaminant? Now I’ve been catching up with this idea of the contaminant as being something that’s synaptically correlated. In other words, it’s like you have maybe a mannerism or a defense side of your nature that, when a certain thing happens, a certain response will automatically come out. You might say that’s a synaptic nature.

Well, dropping the word “synapse,” lets go to the word “blood,” in the blood. And so in families you have things that are born that are patterns and characteristics, or karma or whatever you want to call it, that’s part of a lineage, or family tradition even. And so how do you get beyond that?

Let’s say you’re born and you’re just a baby and for the first three years you don’t know any better than to take and contend with the ups and downs of the vibration of the mother’s soul, and so you do that.

And so if she’s a little haywire and is drinking, or doing whatever she might be doing that’s a little off, you, somehow or another, have to take that as real, as your reality. And then as you come out of that, and you might say that’s a very, very subjective side of yourself, a very womb-like side of things, then you go through the phase of adolescence, and in adolescence you’re challenging everything.

Well, you’re not going to do a very good job of challenging it because you’ve already bought into a lot of it in the subjective phase that is contaminating the pure subjective of yourself. The subjective side of yourself is an ancient, old memory and it’s mired over by having to accept the malarky that is imposed upon it when you’re, let’s say up to three years old and coming off of the mother’s soul. And then as you are growing up to about the age of 12 or 13 you’re still having to learn off of the qualities and the principles, you’re having to be taught, is I guess is the way of saying it.

So now you’re adopting that. Some of it might be good, most of it is baloney because the parents don’t know, they just pretend to know. And then when you go through the adolescent phase you have kind of caught up with the fact that this a bunch of bullshit, but you don’t know what’s bullshit and what’s not – so you just rebel. You fight it all.

Because of blindsides that exist, the woman tends to adhere to the father because that’s the flip side chemistry of magnetism, and the guy, the masculine, tends to protect and honor the mother. And so women fight with their mother, guys do a tug-o-war with their father as a process of evolving, and that leads to developing scars and wounds and everything else. But because of the bloodline correlation, there is usually this bonded connection that rarely goes to a point where it gets to the point where it’s enemy, or total rejection.

There’s still a connection, and it’s almost as if this is a process that’s designed this way in order to help you to somehow or another learn to let go, learn to recognize that it’s not as it appears. And then, after adolescence, you go through the adult phase where you go out and you come with the best idea of whatever it is is your dharma or conceptualization of how you see yourself needing to be, as an expression, as a sum total.

And a lot of that has to do with the noodling of something into the fiber of your soul being that has a quickening, like a bubble effect type state that has to be experienced to be lived out in order to be completed. And so you go through that and then you hit, if you’re meant to hit it in we’ll say this lifetime, if you’re meant to hit it you reach a point where you realize none of that goes anywhere either. It only looks good, sounds good, but it doesn’t really go anywhere.

And so that then can start you on the way of letting go. So what is meditation? Meditation is a process of letting go. Meditation is not a process of sitting and concentrating on how to thread the needle differently.

Meditation is not a process of sitting there and listening to sound and following your breath, because you don’t know how to do that without trying to control, without trying to keep it in some motif, your conceptualization of what it is, and how it is that you need to drink up this essence, whatever this essence is, which you don’t even know.

Yet in the letting go somehow or another you fall into it. Now drop the word “letting go”: in the stillness. So what’s so fascinating is, if you can truly be in the stillness, and that’s why maybe it’s said that only those who have been through the Ring of Fire can do this work, when you’ve truly been in the stillness you can see what’s going to happen. You have these inflections.

In other words, there’s no time anymore. It’s like you’re in the sum total of it all, beginning and end is one and the same. But the problem is again it comes across as a thousandth of a second inflection that is not register-able by a world full of senses that operate in bifurcated motifs fashion.

And so, when something like that hits it quickly gets noodled into a redirecting to try to do something. And this is where the ideals come in, this is where the self-sacrifices come in, this is where the conceptualizations is that you’re getting closer to something.

This is where the idea of a process comes up, and where you see in the process that you’re polishing the heart, and that you’re getting closer and closer but still just subtler and subtler. And it’s rare to get to a point where you have this exasperation where this thousandths of a split second of something leads really to its full consummation, where you just totally let go.

And then when you totally let go, this leads to this dilemma: Wow! What about the story of manifestation? Manifestation is something that was created in God’s image. God loves it. It’s a place where he can come to see and hear himself, as opposed to it just being in the stillness of an all-knowingness. Yes, everything is known, but nothing is for sure, something like that…

And so man’s given freedom of choice and he goes off and this and that and the other happens, and by golly by gee, I mean you could take this into the negative, well okay, we’re on the verge of another crackup.

Or you can take it to the positive and you can say that we’re going to get to a point where there are going to be those who will be able to walk around invisibly with a freedom to knowing how to touch without leaving traces, leaving everything kind of as is, yet able to be here but not really here, also somewhere else simultaneously.

And that as long as a person has to identify with the reflective aspect of any kind of state, whatsoever, they’re not able to be both here and there. And what is there? There is the soul, the world soul of which your soul is just a piece of the whole, of that world soul.

And what is the world soul? The world soul is the soul that takes in the entire universe. So in answer to that little question, you put the heart of another in your heart. You put the world in your heart. Your heart is big enough to include the entire universe because you’re created out of all of the pieces of it all.

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