A Pent-Up Feeling

by agsandrew
by agsandrew

We’ve all heard the phrase: pushing one’s buttons. And, as we develop, we need to see clearly what our “buttons” are. But that doesn’t mean we have to “fix” them, or “cure” them, but we do need to put our consciousness on them. In other words, raise them from unconscious reaction to conscious awareness. Then we can decide how we want to proceed. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: Well my second dream, which was just as frustrating, it’s like I’m in a room and it feels to me like the room has a lot of different shades of green in it.

And there’s a line in front of me, and I’m looking at that line, or I’m facing that line, of people, just a short line, and I’m trying to either find a formula, it’s almost like something I can see in the air, I’m trying to find a formula that one says, or does, to recover lost time – and I just can’t seem to find it.

I know I’ve done it before. The pattern’s there somewhere, but I just can’t seem to find the formula that would free things up, or recover the lost time. And I’m going over and over it trying to do this.

It’s very frustrating, so much so that it’s like when I woke up I was a little angry because I wasn’t going to have more time to have a dream that got me through it.

John: This is taking what was in the first dream, and it’s now portraying it as a pent-up element inside of yourself. In other words, where you’re lurching in this way and that way, instead of a way that can have a kind of natural cadence in terms of the unfoldment.

But what isn’t explained to you, is why is it that you’re doing that? I mean, what is there about your latent, basic nature where you have this memo you somehow hear, that you need to do this? Why is that?

And this dream is trying to put you in touch with the vibrational feeling of how it is that something gets pent up. And when it gets pent up, it needs to release or come out. And the whole sense is trying to figure out how to steer or direct through the gap, and you just need to know that when you’re responding, you’re responding off of synapses that are firing off like that, thinking that it has to do this, that, or the other or else something will go awry.

It’s explaining this to you as a type of pent-up energy that you’re carrying that comes across. It comes across because you feel it’s important. If you think about things, we carry all kinds of things in our nature that are reflective, that we don’t realize.

In other words, if something happens, like you get bumped or something, each person has their own reflective response, whether they get mad about it, or they apologize as if it was their fault; each person has a conditioning that they rely upon that’s like a pent-up response, especially when you’re caught or hit up by things that are out of the blue – or seemingly out of the blue, because nothing is out of the blue.

You’re always somehow or another influencing in the outer, the environment of the outer, based upon how you’re perceiving the inner. And so where this gets magical is that you can function in a way that operates etherically, without words, by holding a space. When you address the pent-upism and articulate it, and verbalize it, you kill the energy.

Just look at how your dad said a lot just by disappearing when he’d had enough of something. He’d go take a nap or do something, and his quality of doing that held something that was important for his own well being.

He didn’t get into anything to cause reverberations. He may joke or humor about it to the degree to which it kind of might get to him a little bit, but other than that, by letting go, by releasing, the whole quality of this experience here all summed up to be wonderful.

Of course, he could have gotten caught up in this, or caught up in that, and that would have undermined the quality of the experience.

This is another area that you’re being shown that you can play with. There’s one word that I have heard long ago. This word kind of has a mental quality to it and, if you think about it, it’s hard to put into practice as a way of being, but the word is called forbearance.

What forbearance means is that you see a situation, you see something lurch inside of yourself in response to the situation, like it’s pent up, and you somehow or another let it go. You exercise forbearance.

Forbearance is an important word in terms of equanimity, in that you find a stableness then that doesn’t rock boats, that kind of keeps things even, so that you don’t have an adab in the outer that keeps you from catching up with a deeper meaningfulness from within that you can naturally reach and find.

These are both interesting teaching dreams on a subject that you are always having to play with, but it’s the theme of the evening, which is the same subject that I have to play with basically, too. It’s just that I go at it with a different context.

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