This will sound familiar to many of us: feeling an inner pressure to grow up, or be more responsible, or try harder. Those are psychologies we developed in response to our circumstances growing up, but we tend to also apply them to our spiritual journey. But a spiritual journey is different because it is about reconnecting to the most natural parts of ourselves, the parts that take joy in just being a part of what is ongoing, and being able to participate. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
Jeane: In my first dream, it’s like there’s this house that’s made almost out of an erector set. It’s like you can kind of see through the walls in a way, and there’s even something like a Ferris wheel made out of steel in there, except everything’s smaller. There’s a key to something hidden in this house, and there seem to be two siblings, young boys.
So, there’re two boys, they look like somewhere between 9 and 11. They’re brothers, but one of them is kind of the evil twin. And they’re both searching for a key. The mother’s locked up somewhere in the house. They’re both searching for some kind of a key that would kind of give them control over the house and anything that’s hidden there.
And normally you expect the good kid to find it, but the evil kid finds it first. And then the good kid knows that he’s essentially either going to be done away with, or locked out, or not going to be able to help the situation because the other one beat him to it.
That’s that dream.
John: So what you need to denote, that is keeping you from finding a happiness and peace, is that you have choked off the connection to an easygoing ambivalent innocent side of yourself – and you’ve made everything way too serious.
And so you also have, without realizing it, dreamt the part about happiness and peace. In other words, using the first components of what you were meant to understand in that you have to get into life, you have to experience life, and you experience that by dealing with the activity center of your chakras that is in life; which is depicted to be, in terms of life, the faster parts of life in the outer. It comes through your dynamic with the colors, the lower chakra colors of red, orange, and yellow.
And then you were shown that with that carried up into the heart, because everything vies for the heart, that you then are able to then go from that, awaken the dynamic of that kundalini energy, and carry it up towards the crown, or up to the third eye, and hold that there and develop a state of knowing. And then, of course, if it went out the crown and out the top, you would develop a nausea, or you could feel yourself getting completely scattered and everything. You would lose a certain kind of memory and whatnot. And typically speaking we have done that, and we do that, and we are not holding our sense of self, which is a type of power or presence of our being.
And to do that we have to turn the attention back down. In other words, it’s like climbing the chakras which is considered often a spiritual journey for those who follow Yogi paths and whatnot, only to realize that when you get to the top you don’t let it go out and release it and become too transcendent, you turn it back down, and you come back down, and you find the heart again – and are in touch with that vibration, and that infuses you with the power that you need to try to hold all of this into context.
But you can have a dilemma in that this dynamic inside of yourself can become too serious, doesn’t necessarily accept that it’s just like a type of lily in the field, it’s not something that’s meant to go out and do this, that, and the other. I mean the idea that we’re a crown of creation and have this responsibility and that responsibility tends to create more spiritual illusion than anything, and if you get into that then the seriousness of that keeps you from finding a happiness, and peace, or a joy and peace.
When you hold the energy inside of yourself you also are meant to be able to hold a focus to everything that is going on around you in the outer, and hold it in a way in which you appreciate it almost in an innocence, or in a kind of ambivalence, and in a form of accepting. And if you don’t do that, and stay serious, then you come to know the mean kid inside yourself – instead of the young boy inside of yourself that just plays, and carries on, and lets everything in life go by in a way that is free and joyous.
Now, this is the part that we miss today, this is the joy, this is the peace, is you turn down into yourself and let everything go. And when you let everything go, it’s like you reincorporate the whole essence of yourself coming into life and going through the stages that you have forgotten and lost, that has to do with when you were carefree and didn’t take on the weight and burdens of the world and, therefore, have to contend with all that needs to be done, or that’s haywire, or all of the sophistication that comes with becoming grown up.
When you’re able to be like this, as well as carry the power, the knowing, and in life, when you’re able to have that there as well, now you have made yourself simple and innocent enough so that something truly can flow through you. Otherwise, you’re going to be kind of functioning in some sort of conceptualization. In other words, you will feel that something needs to be ushered in, in other words, if you buy into the spiritual illusion aspect of being the crown of creation. Yes, you’re the crown, but not necessarily in this notionality that you have to become weaponized as a consciousness so that you can, so to speak, be part of the action.
You’re part of the action when you’re able to take on all of the ambivalent child-like qualities as well, access that part of yourself that you rush through, that you don’t have a good frame of reference towards because you were compelled and pressed to become grown up, to grow up, to understand this and understand that, and thus took on levels of sophistication and seriousness that got imbedded in your nature. And so you lost the ability to be a kid, or to find that part of yourself that knows how to just play, and enjoy, and hang out and doesn’t have to carry the weights and the burdens of the day.
And so the problem with being on a spiritual path is it becomes very, very easy to get an idea of where and how something is going. You can actually kind of get that from a type of knowing, but you need to throw that behind you, too, in order to be able to effectively touch life because that is too transcendent. You have to bring that down into the heart, or you have to go through the heart. You have to stay in the heart.
That’s the idea of coming back down. You have to stay in the heart. In other words, you just do not go up and down. You embody all of that simultaneously even though there’s the sensation of going up and the sensation of going down. You embody all of that, and then you take it one more step and you hold onto the innocence and the childlike qualities and youthfulness of your nature instead of glancing back at all of that and having opinions about one’s upbringing, or childlike quality nature that tends to think that it needed to put pressure on itself to grow up. And that’s the mean boy, or the mean kid inside of you, as opposed to the one that knows how to just be at ease with everything and doesn’t have to adopt a manner of sophistication that then gets in the road of being able to be how you’re meant to be able to be.
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