A Price to Be Paid

uncertaintyTo be able to “find” inner peace is not a matter of switching from one way of being to another, instead it requires that we sort out all the things in life that take us out of a peaceful state. We need to ask ourselves why something upsets us, and then see if we can find a new viewpoint, or an elevated reasoning, so that we can see that same event in a new light. Through this process we can work everything that is not peaceful to us out of our systems. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So then I have a hard time going to sleep and, when I finally go to sleep, the first thing I dream is I am coming into accessing information that has to do with something that I don’t indulge in so directly that I block it from happening. In other words, I’m shown how I do this in a reversionary way so to speak.

But I can’t describe this in-betweenness very well, because I’m still bifurcated. I mean this would be kind of somewhat of an in-between application, in-between in relationship to the dream that follows, and I can’t even quite do that. So I have to take a bigger step down because this is drowned out by a louder dream that comes in and keeps me from depicting the other.

In this image, I am standing next to a building when suddenly what I think is rice is dumped upon me as an antic from above, you know a couple of characters opened a window and just poured it out on me to see what would happen. In other words, I guess from their point of reference, to jar me out of kind of a malaise or trance that I’m wandering around in – or just to see how it is that I would react.

So, I step away and am able to kind of shake this off, and almost blot it out, but then I notice that this seems to have affected my being more than I realize. And so I take off my trench jacket and it’s a funny sensation to watch myself go through a process of extricating, or reconciling, the jolted effect.

When I take the trench coat jacket off, I see that in the arms of the jacket that I have to shake out so that the jacket arms are more free and open, this rice is no longer like a rice, it’s now like a gobbed bunch of noodles. And when I shake it out it falls out, and it’s actually funny to people watching, but by shaking it out I seem to be freeing myself up.

What was so odd was, I do this but I still can’t help but wonder what it would be like to re-experience the effect again. In other words, that was interesting. It caused me to catch up with something by shaking it out – but I had to catch up with it by way of being disturbed, or affected, or shocked, or have this imposition put upon me.

And, of course, as I ponder what it would be like to go through something like this again, I have the suspicion, or suspect, that if it were to happen again this time the rice would coagulate into a noodle but would affect other hidden places in my being, which may not be as easy to shake off, or to shake out. I guess I’m pondering this sort of disturbing of one’s self, being affected by something out of the blue like this, as a kind of inner challenge towards awakening.

Well the meaning is, the image I lost had a more subtle and unassuming way of accessing, in a vibrational way, the outward that is meant to be unseen, in other words, through a vibrational language. But I am not very good at doing it this way. This is still something that is shocking to my ordinary outward way, which gets in the way. So as a result I have to settle for the more overt effect.

So in the dream I catch up with what is unfolding within when I am subjected to an effect that I must reconcile or shake off. In other words, this is an indirect approach. Instead of just naturally being in a state of balance or peace, I find myself still having to be involved in a way in which I free myself up from various diversionary indulgences and, in doing that, come to know more about what it is that is unfolding.

If I do not experience the intrusive behavior it seems that a laziness or amnesic part of myself keeps me from feeling compelled or focused to unfold or proceed with this vibrational language in a natural way. And so I give an example of how yesterday I had to try to shake something out. In other words, I compelled myself against my will because I hate the way that this is apt to stir up something inside of me that is unpleasant, but I compelled myself to face the issue that’s unpleasant in order to seek and try to better understand it and, in doing so, address the pent up anxiety. And there’s a whole fogginess about it in terms of how to say it, or to clarify it, or to better visualize what it is that is going on that is bothersome.

So in doing this the issue yesterday involved trying to describe, in a way that would be clear for anyone else that is involved or similarly situated, like a part of myself, or as I call it cellular partners, so that they would become free of a deception that is being perpetrated upon them that they don’t even know about.

The idea was that by bringing the issue out in the open that a clear flow would awaken. Of course, it would have been better if I could have silently inputted the understanding, but I’m not there yet. I have to wrestle with the diversion until I untwine its uneasiness effect, and then steer that back to how it correlates in a natural interconnected way. To sit in an uneasiness without shaking this out leaves me feeling removed from that which is trying to awaken, which is intertwined.

I kept thinking that that was really, really removed from the meditation dream. It didn’t sound so bad by going over it, but that’s probably because I’m accepting a price that has to be paid to be at a point which is in the state of peace – and I haven’t paid that price yet. I keep trying to ignore it.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: A Price to Be Paid

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