Embarking on a spiritual path can teach us how to connect to our inner, or higher, guidance. Yet in the beginning these connections are tenuous, as we revert back to our old ways of viewing the world from our personal viewpoint. That is why a spiritual path can only be fully lived if we consistently choose it every day and make it the lens from which we see and experience life. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
John: So my first dream was like a type of continuous repeat dream that’s been happening for days and days at night. I go through some stage of this and don’t find a good answer. And the reason why I don’t come up with a good answer is, what I experience I can’t write down – because what may be true on that deep inner level isn’t true in an outer level.
So when I wake up and try to write it down it doesn’t come out. And the reason why it doesn’t come out isn’t exactly translatable from one side to the other yet – and it’s meant to be, but it isn’t.
So in this dream, meditation dream, I’m wrestling within and what I’m wrestling with within is an opinion that I have that less is more, in terms of inner awareness. And so I find myself trying to prove that. I’m trying to prove that to myself. I keep dreaming this inside, but I’m not exactly quite convinced, apparently, because I can’t bring it out, wake up, and write it down succinctly why that is clearly true.
In other words, in order to try to come to grips with this knowingness, I go within and I seek from within to have an experience to that effect, in other words through a dream or something, that is so clearcut that when I come out it’s obvious. In other words, to be able to come out with this, or to bring the vibration into a world which has drifted away from this as a truth. This is where I feel that I’m going to need help seeing because I can’t quite see it. I can’t quite get what I need to get. I still see that with mixed feelings. I can still see how there is something that isn’t quite right about this idea that less is more because there’s something about substance that still has its hold on me.
So what I’m doing is I’m reporting to myself where I’m at in terms of this theme, the theme of letting go like this of things. And I’m noticing that I’m not convincing myself, although I am still struggling to do so.
That’s an odd meditation dream. That can actually throw you off a lot because a person needs to have something codified. Even if it’s untrue, they have to have something codified. And something like this that doesn’t quite come together one way or another, leaves one in a state of bewilderment, which can actually throw things off.
An example of being thrown off is this dream, where again it’s a meditation dream, and I am trying to reach an inner consensus awareness with the dream group. I am having trouble zeroing in on that, in other words because they have a perception that is different. So I’m trying to determine where to go in my dream notebooks. In other words, I’ve gone to my dream notebook to prove it, to try to pull this out, to lay it out there, because the dream group is in a different state than what I can tend to be in, but I’m not always in a heightened state. So I get caught in the malaise of the dream group, but I know that something needs to be pulled out so I resort to my dream books where I’ve got things written down to try to bring it out.
But as you have said, who can possibly read that? And so what I read to begin with only causes a further disconnect. In fact, I struggle so hard to try to figure it out that I even have my back turned to them – as if that will help – because I don’t want to lose the attention of what I’m doing but when I do that I lose their attention and cannot find where to begin. I turn my back in order to try to zero in to at least get it narrowed down to where to begin, and I’m flipping pages back and forth and I can’t even find that.
And of course a dream like this means that one is at odds with themselves, in terms of understanding, or of what’s unfolding within, can put one at odds with themselves. And then I hear a voice that states the problem I’m having in doing this. And what it says is: it is because there’s gambling involved.
Gambling is an interesting term, when one indulges and gets caught up in things they tend not to zoom in and take what is literally going on in terms of a realness inside themselves, they tend not to fully address that. They get caught up in the motif of things. It’s like a game, the outer is like a game and you get caught up in it – and it’s gambling, gaming, gambling.
So when you get like that you’re tuned out, you’re tuned out to something that is more real inside and also, therefore, you’re tuned out to everything around you, too, that might have something trying to awaken in a real way because you’re dealing in this gaming or gambling sense. Which means by tuning myself out, I am not sufficiently in the heart for something to be brought through. You’re riding on a tangent.
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