Is it so hard for us to surrender to what the universe wants, rather than what we, personally, want? This world gets worse every day, yet the universe gets more beautiful every day. Maybe it’s time to put ourselves in the hands of the professionals, and stop thinking we know best. We don’t know anything, but if we’re willing, we can be a part of everything. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
John: The crux of the meditation dream was that everything was in a delicate balance; the slightest variance could send situations over the edge, in this direction or that direction. And there’s no right answer because if it tips this way, it’s going to have a particular kind of effect that might be another type of meltdown, than if it tips that way.
So, there’s simply no way out of the dilemma that’s evolved. And it seemed that, for a good portion of the dream, I was kind of in the position of thinking that I needed to be on the razor’s edge with it all. In other words, I know that if something happens this particular way, it’s going to have this kind of effect. And if it happens this other particular way, it’s going to have this other kind of effect.
And deep down, the confusion I have is both of them in a way are going to be hard on life, and hard on people, and hard on everything, and neither of them are an answer to anything. They’re just a result of the conditions of the way something is right now cannot continue. The fabric of something that has held a particular demeanor over the course of time, has now been destroyed, and the vestiges of something slipping either this way or that way.
Well, for the longest time, I’ve been confused about my role. Am I some sort of peacemaker, or arbitrator, seeking to perpetuate a dire situation? Or kind of ameliorated or hold something that is destined to breakdown and fall apart? That has to change? That has to shift?
But then what I saw that really inspired me is that holding some sort of tenuous situation or status quo was not my calling. In fact, deep down I really didn’t care which way it tipped. I mean, because I knew that it didn’t matter: this wasn’t what it was about.
Each end was a disaster, so, you know, you don’t pick sides. Nor do you try to hold the status quo because as it tips this way or that way, that that means, what? That you have to go through some dire consequences, so it’s better to stay in the trance you’re in? No. The disaster is a given. It can’t be averted, and this is where I have gotten.
My problem of course has been exhausting me and heavy on the heart and leaving me frustrated, wherever I turn, is that I’m trying to maintain some sort of balancing act, instead of letting something just go all to pieces. Because my role works—to my surprise to find out—my role comes into play when the situation tips over the edge. This is kind of perverse, if you think about it. I even seem to welcome the idea of it bringing it on, so to speak, even though it’s a state of confusion that’s going to have everything chaotic.
My whole dynamic was that of contending with and finding a flow. In other words, to be able to work in the guidance, the steering of that, that made the best of the dire conditions as they broke down. An image that surprised me. I would never have guessed that I am designed and wired to come alive during the breakdown. Until this, I was basically a monitor, neutral, to the inevitable and even opposing something that was about to change that could be for the dire.
I mean if you apply this to where we’re going to Egypt, or where we went to Israel now, there’s something that’s going to fall apart there. We’re not trying to be peacemakers to try to keep that destiny from happening. That destiny is going to happen. The aliveness is what is made possible when that happens. That’s where the excitement comes in. That is where the role is at.
But as long as you have a bias in your nature in a particular way, as if you need to change or alter what is unfolding, then you’re going to be fighting forces. And when you fight forces, you’re going to have veils. And when you have veils, you’re not going to see anything of any consequence that is more important, and the veils and the mannerisms and whatever it is that you’re fighting, that hiddenness then drains you, and you lose a certain heartfulness. You lose a certain connectivity or intertwining that’s possible. There is no exaltation. There’s just pins and needles kind of thing. And whatever direction and decision that you make, there is always something opposed to it or offsetting it. And so wherever and however you are seen, there’s always something that is going to have another perspective.
So you’re not supposed to hurt the feelings of anything, no energetics, not even the dark energy. So, you bring it on, you welcome it, who cares? You know how to work with it. You know how to play with it. You know how to guide it. You know how to steer it around. You know how to intertwine with it. So nothing is hidden. Everything is revealed, and when it’s like that, it’s an exaltation.
So, the meaning is, it’s a common conception that we are keepers of a way that keeps society and mankind from destroying themselves. In other words, we have our religious conceptualizations of how something needs to be ordained.
Deep down, I feel that what is breaking down is actually a natural inevitability. It’s at a point where something has gotten to this and it has to happen. And so if I am opposing this, it is a hopeless rear-guard action that, in the end, will fail. Well, it fails all the time when you get exhausted. It fails all the time when you stab the heart. It fails all the time when you take positions that seek to make something different occur.
You change things. You affect things by holding the need inside, connecting to something and allowing what is a momentum to occur. Now, that momentum has a lot of force to it. And that part that you have inside of you, that can do something about this, is a kundalini energy.
But anyway, to a degree that I may be looking at the teeter-totter of things, knowing that we live at a time of suspense on the edge of a precipice breakdown, it is not my role to try and avert those consequences. It is my role to go with the flow of the breakdown and help to shape and establish a cadence in the dire effects of it all. It’s actually okay, the dire effects are okay. It’s only our concepts that it needs to be such and so, in terms of a particular kind of packaged arrangement.
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