On the Defensive

B. Pate-McDonald

Two steps forward, one step back : that’s often the description of a spiritual journey. And part of that comes back to the many lives in us, because parts of us are open and adventurous, and other parts of us are more practical and concerned about safety. That’s why we need to get all these lives in agreement with the journey we are on – so they will all support it, rather than resist. We can do that by being more conscious of the needs of each of these lives, and literally speaking to them about what we “all” are trying to do. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: So this next dream, it’s like I’m going to church with Dad and I think my sister’s around somewhere, too. And on the way to the church that I attend, we run into a more evangelical-type church that maybe my sister’s part of, I’m not sure about that, because she’s there.

So even though we’re going to go to a service at my church, which is a little beyond that, we’ve stopped at this service and we’re taking part in it and it’s more informal. They’re singing. And Dad excuses himself for a minute and goes to the restroom.

Well then, suddenly he kind of walks out into a part of the room. He’s just got a towel wrapped around him. Apparently he was still wearing a catheter and was having some problems, so he came out to have my sister do something that would help him. And she kind of jokes that that’s really Mom’s job now, but everybody just kind of takes it lightly. But it seems to stir me up to get my dad to move him on, to go to the church that I’m part of, that’s beyond this congregation.

And then the dream just shifts slightly, because Dad’s not with me, but I’ve moved beyond. And now beyond that it feels like I’m going into an apartment or something where I’m going to spend the night. The people that were there have left. And it looks a lot like the rooms in the very first dream, except now it’s a place for him to spend the night instead of counseling offices.

And my only concern when I go in there is the door in my room doesn’t seem to have a lock and I seem to be a little apprehensive about what might come in. But then I find a foyer door and that door has about four locks on it, so I lock those. Then I still feel like there’s another backdoor. That it’s just something about me that I’m feeling apprehensive about where I’m at now in terms of something coming in I can’t keep out.

John: So, you repeat the pattern of the first dream, in that the importance of this dream was right at the very beginning. And then you have this whole heebie-jeebieism stuff, you know, reactive stuff, and whatnot, that gets in the way, that blurs the significance of what is important.

In the first dream, it’s like you’re trying to zero in on what it is that’s meant to come through. There’s a certain imbalance in terms of one’s soul nature on a masculine level, that’s represented by your father, that’s a little wounded or something, and needs some help in sorting it out.

And then there is the idea of how it can be done, or who can lend the help. And that’s where the part of yourself that has the camaraderie, the family connection, that tries to fit in. But your sister’s notion is that your dad should be going in this other particular direction. But you hear that, “no, no, no,” that he is part of something. All of this is part of an even deeper connection that goes all the way back to your mother, to a grounded and a rootedness to your mother. And your dad had a clarity and your mother had a depth about her that all linked and opened up naturally. And from what she’s able to give, she is able to facilitate what needs to unfold.

And then it is shown that you are connected to your mother and that you know the church, or the place, or the point in which all of this can ensue, which is the point in the church or whatever you want to call it, that your mother was part of, which means that is connected to that note. That you can take and move towards that to create the connections that are necessary for it to open up.

But then the second part of your dream goes into where you’re shooting yourself in the foot again, and you’re getting into a reactive thing, as if some heebie-jeebie or fear, or tearing of threads, or whatever it is, reaction, is going to be there, that then creates the imagination that goes off into a delirium about this, that, or the other. And, therefore, you’re not able to hold the attunement that you need to hold.

The whole thing has to do with in each of those dreams, the bifurcation has to do with essentially the same kind of energy, the second dream being like something is going to get you or affect you. So there’s the premonition of something out of balance that’s going to happen.

In the first dream, you’re distracted by this sort of thing that you note because as your energy speeds up whenever anyone’s energy gets heightened, this area also gets heightened as well. And the key is to be held and owned in such a way so that it does not obliterate or get in the way of the part of this energetic that is viable, that comes through from the other side.

You reveal a very, very interesting thing. You point out how the kundalini energy works in many, many different ways than one had thought about. It’s like a person who gets really high or excited about something and has these epiphany of thoughts and the world opens up. What also opens up is the senses. You know, the palette of food tastes better. A sensuality is more apparent and present in the atmosphere.

And all of that can then act as a dampening force or as a defensive type of mechanism that dumbs down. It can even be a defense mechanism, if what one is trying to experience on a level of acuity is too much for them to handle. This other then kind of finds room to filter through in terms of synaptic inflection and those synaptic inflections that take you off of the clarity and the acuity that was there.

People do this all the time. Often times whenever a situation becomes too intense, they intentionally go spacey, because they can’t handle it when it gets too intense. The key is to be able to hold that energy, hold that note, to sustain and maintain that.

And so in the last two dreams you depicted the aspect of this energy that has a denser quality to it in manifestation. In other words, there’s something in manifestation that opens up and links and connects to what is really real, but at the same time, you also have this element that sits there that can be like a reflective aspect within manifestation, that is very close to this because it also opens up, especially if you have karma that’s still unfulfilled in this particular area, it jumps into the spotlight at those points in time and it obliterates your ability to hone in to the degree that you would like to hone in.

Interesting. That’s the first time you’ve had a dream, I think, that took and showed you the degree to which you’re capable of holding a note, but at the same time then what you do to yourself to dumb it down.

In those last two dreams, in both instances, you dumbed down the note. I’ll have to be watching that. Whenever you shift and the energy changes, I’ll have to look to see if that shift in the energy changing is part of dumbing down something, especially when the dream that you told, the energies are so much different. You know, how does that fit?

And in this particular case, I’m able to see that it does fit, it’s just that it’s on a different level. The focus and attention and the acuity and the coming into what is needed to be and the recognition of that is all accentuated in the first part of both of those dreams. And then this other comes in to veil it.

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