The Sideshow

spiritual-transfiguration-1There is our spiritual life, and there is the life we lead in the outer world. But they are not separate. In fact, you could say that we’re not truly being spiritual if we still have a separation between these aspects of ourselves. Spirituality should come from our inner location into all that we do in the outer world. It isn’t meant to be turned on and off. Our journey may find us stopping and starting at first, but over time, and repetition, it can become who we are. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: In my meditation dream I start off by looking at the underlying responsibilities I carry from being here in creation and dealing with the outer. There is a role that I play, but at the same time there is an outer orientation that I must also contend with that is part of the process.

In other words, by outer orientation I mean an overall orientation that is part of the wholeness in the larger expanse of the soul. And then there is a role that I play which is the identity that I carry in terms of how I see myself and what I do on a day-to-day basis. The role I play takes up my attention and when I’m condensed in that attention, this otherness that has the heart kind of stretching out, I steal from that as if I can make that an abstraction. I steal the energy from that to try to get away with focusing my attention upon some role that I play and that chokes me off from how it is that I need to experience.

I tend to look at my overall expanse as part of a role, which is a misnomer on my part. What it takes to be here is an unavoidable factor which permeates into the overall of manifestation. In other words, what I’m trying to say is that when I take and follow a mannerism or expression or a role, I am keeping myself from taking on the whole essence of a soul that can expand into the universe, into all of manifestation, and take it in as a quality of something that like I described earlier is outside of time and space. The weight and the pressure and the limiting choking off sensation of time that time has that keeps you from being able to experience the full essence of your beingness.

So to keep that from happening for me what I see myself doing is being busy being how I feel I am meant to be. In other words, whatever it is that I see is my role in life, and so I tend to ignore the overall aspect which is part of who I am as the territory of it all, thus in terms of being here I am experiencing a very small quality and quantity and spatiality of that because I have veiled myself from the greater information. And of course information is all caught in light, and you cannot catch up with light if you have choked your heart off in some way because you veil some aspect of that information that is imbedded in the light just by having choked your heart off and you do not even know it because nothing shows you or tells you other than the fact that your heart isn’t right.

Basically what I am trying to say is I am seeing in the meditation dream this mannerism, in other words this overallness mannerism of the heart is what is most important to manifestation, and not the role I play as a side game that I pretend to be of monumental importance. And I fill myself with spiritual illusion by saying it’s intertwined into the overallness. It’s accommodated but it is not really actually intertwined when I’m finding it choking my heart.

The meditation dream is pointing out to me that if on an energetic level I am not taking into account the overallness of my being that permeates naturally throughout manifestation with its demeanor… based upon a demeanor and attitude I carry that is choking the heart. Instead, my attention is upon the so called role I play that is being treated in the meditation as the sideshow to it all. In the meditation I saw it like that. I would see that as an inconsequential event, and then there would be this other and it was like really, really hard to focus on this inconsequential event when this otherness was so much the big deal.

It is how I am carrying my inner connection to the overallness that permeates into manifestation, which is what I am seeing to be important in the meditation dream. I am seeing that what I am doing is dismissing it as uneventful when it’s paramount. I am dismissing it as uneventful in order to do the things that I do. It is my so-called self imposed roles, or way that I see myself, in terms of what I think that I have to do and contend with, that I dwell upon and of course from what I’m seeing inside not only is this of little overall consequence in the scheme of the whole, it tends to preoccupy my attention away from how it is that I can truly feel the heart.

So in terms of an all inclusive overall vibration, which permeates into manifestation, this is what is being looked at from the perspective of the world soul, in other words, my connection out to the overall soul. It funnels or I am connected through that and so it looks into all of manifestation. In other words, I’m the soul, I am the complete blueprint of the world soul, not some role or identity I play in it all as a self-styled nuance. Until I had this dream I was not putting much of a focus upon this attribute or quality of my wholeness. Consequently, my contribution as a vibration going into the outer has been mostly unconscious and irresponsible. I need to take note of this all inclusive vibratoriness that, as I pointed out above, effuses into the outer as a natural byproduct of my presence in creation.

The dream is indicating that this is what is important. In other words, this is happening anyway to some degree, but it’s not on the level of attention. It’s kind of a byproduct as I play the role and to the degree to which I get all consumed by that role is the degree to which I’m rude to the overallness and taking liberties for the sake of trying to make whatever it is that I’m doing happen, and you don’t even note that you are stabbing your heart and stabbing your heart to the point where you can get to where you can’t see a darn thing in terms of functionality in the whole.

So the dream is indicating that what is important to the whole, which isn’t my ideas, and the price and cost of this overallness I… In other words, I’m seeing the price and cost to this overallness when I treat something to be extraneous to the process and try to scope it out separately. I need to stop acting like the day-to-day process of being here is extraneous and start looking at my day-to-day demeanor and note the all effusive presence maintained by this in creation.

See, you don’t notice it. In my dreams last night I did not notice this. I barely saw it. So, as I take this into account I am embarrassed in catching up with the memo from within instead of from without. I am embarrassed because I have been placing my attention upon extraneous role model conduct thinking this to be what is important, when the whole time how it is that I was carrying myself energetically is where it is at.

In other words, behind the scenes of all of that is how I’m carrying myself energetically. That’s what is important, and that is where my consciousness needs to dwell. Or, to say it in another way, the overall outer demeanor is not dismissible as if this is nothing more than a utility bill treated as an inconvenience, in other words where overallness is an inconvenience. It is instead key to the all effusive energetic I hold in manifestation. I need to pay attention to the demeanor I have in this regard as being the imperative.

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