Inner Commotion

Jonathon Rosen

We can see in this how the subconscious presents the idea of different inner aspects in a dream. Here we have a situation where you can travel in a car, or in a stagecoach. And then we have accomplished doctors and sloppy adolescents. Nothing seems to make sense until we remember that we are all the characters in our dreams, and we can see that these are inner elements interacting, trying to find a balance and a speed to move forward together. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: Okay my first dream seems to take place, I feel like I’m visiting a western area because sometimes we ride in cars and sometimes we ride in something like a stagecoach.

And I just remember going out and looking at things, but I also have a feeling that maybe sometimes we work on something, because when I come back there’s a group of us that are staying in kind of like the basement bedroom, that maybe also belongs to the adolescent son of whoever owns the house, but it’s a large area and a number of people can stay there.

And there’s even a group of young doctors that suddenly come and they’re going to pair off with some of us for when we go out and work, so we’re all kind of all standing up checking out them as they come in. But then I kind of go over and I’m looking at the basement area, and I kind of lift up the lid on one of the toilets, which is out in the open, and it goes way down actually, but has kind of like a pit under it, and I can see some boy’s underwear down there.

So it’s kind of like the teenagers that actually live in the place, the sons of whoever owns it, I realize that even though they and their friends may do fine when they go out and are working, they’re really kind of slobs around their home, you know, like we’re going to have to unplug that to get everything working again. That’s all I remember of that first dream.

John: I was beginning to think I wasn’t going to know what this meant. The stagecoach versus cars has a certain energetic vibration. In other words, the dream is compelling you to assimilate the two speeds, the car and the stagecoach. The reason it’s causing you to have to assimilate that is that, unless you do, you’re not going to be able to see, or take on properly, the two sides of a complexity in life.

In other words, there are the doctors and then there are the boys, and the doctors have a certain acuity, and you might even say a certain speed to have become doctors, to have been successful. And the boys have a certain adolescent quality that is still raw, but still in the stagecoach phase. And one has to be attentive to the rawness of life in order to be able to bring the two together.

In other words, there’s something quaint and something nice about the stagecoach. A part of you senses that in the beginning part of the dream. Sometimes you’re in a car, sometimes you’re in a stagecoach. You have to be natural, in either a car or a stagecoach, all the way through, in a complete way, so that the doctor side of yourself and the adolescent boys, the raw energy side of yourself, can come into a balance.

The underlying issue is a kundalini issue. In other words, there’s a part of you… In other words, another aspect of kundalini energy is you learn to handle it by developing certain parameters upon which you allow yourself to be exposed. And kundalini energy, in and of itself, is a type of energy that can be inclined that force you to have, if you can’t handle it, force you to have to have defense barriers in order to be able to function or process. And when you establish these barriers to where you can keep it from being over the top, you can create a blindside.

It’s essential that you have the kundalini energy available to you in order to be able to go to a depth in yourself, but you can also refine yourself to a point where you seemingly make your life more balanced, but that you do damage to yourself in doing so because you control, or are able to not fully come to grips with a certain quality of this raw kundalini energy that throws things around, that’s disruptive.

Your dream is intended to cause you to recognize how you are able to handle this sort of thing, otherwise there will be a disturbance, otherwise there will be something that gets thrown away, that shouldn’t be thrown away, otherwise there is a depth that you aren’t able and aren’t properly reconciling in terms of pulling something together.

The way to understand this dream you almost have to know what the theme is right from the beginning, and the theme at the very beginning is, how do you quiet something in a way so that it is all there as an inner presence? And you do not quell it by suppressing it, or by hiding it. You have to let it be there, and at the same time be able to turn it off. This is where words become difficult because it is not actually a turning off, it’s assimilating. It’s like a turning off, but it’s an ability to assimilate just like at the very beginning, there’s something quaint, there is something possible with being able to use sometimes a car and sometimes a stagecoach – and yet there’s something bizarre about that.

In other words, that seems to be possible, but then when you take it in to real life where you have an environment in which there is the speeding up, and then there is the backwardation, and then there’s the raw energy, you find yourself then in terms of the raw energy that may not have the acuity of a car, is the stagecoach modality. You have to be able to bring the two together in order to not have something that remains amiss, or disjointed.

It’s a very subtle training. In other words, what is bringing something like this up maybe is the better way of looking at it? What is bringing this up? Something has disturbed you. In other words, maybe it’s the idea – just to make something up – maybe there’s a subtle reaction in you having to bite the bullet, and you see yourself doing that, you’re able to drive a car, and you were able to drive a car. However, you would have rather stayed in the stagecoach in that instance, and so there’s a certain… there’s both a relief in terms of doing it, but then there was an agitation or a nuisance about it in terms of contemplating it.

And those two sides of yourself, the relief is a breakthrough. It enables you to feel something wonderful. It’s not as dependent as you would want to define things in terms of ordering life in a certain way, and by doing that you cleared something up or otherwise there would be like a rubbish, an energetic rubbish, that would remain, that would have been a source of uneasiness because things wouldn’t have been kosher, and wouldn’t have been right, and it would have been left in an irresponsibility – just like the adolescent boys with their socks down a deep toilet type pit hole, or not their socks their underwear or whatever, is an image of something that needs to be in another state of attention.

The issue has to do with understanding these states of attention. I guess we can take and look at the Kundalini energy as states of attention. The state of attention in which something isn’t getting done, or is dragging or malingering, has this whole kind of image of the underwear at a depth in a pit hole. The contrast of where something is taken on and you push through it is where the car speeds up, is where you can now use the car, as opposed to something that’s more limited, in which you’re keeping yourself more limited – and okay with being limited, too.

In other words, you can be in the stagecoach. In fact, that’s a choice that you have made of being in the stagecoach, but then you’re saying that you’re not limited to the stagecoach. You can also have the car. You can go either or as the situation dictates. You can realize the doctor side of yourself, or the adolescent side of yourself. You can go either or, but you can’t make a decision one way or the other. You have to have the fluidity of both.

So in a roundabout way this is even a subset of a deeper subject which has to do with the integration of inner and outer, of in-breath and out-breath. I mean it’s a subset of all of that, and this is a component, this is an aspect of handling that. And the way this comes across like this is that if it bothers you for example that something is sitting in remiss and isn’t getting handled or done or is not appropriate, the thought that you have sends an energetic flicker that affects the breath, even as you’re breathing. For a split second maybe there is a very subtle reaction and your breath varies just a little bit to accommodate the flinch, or the reaction or the uneasiness about how it is that you’re feeling something.

Now if you integrate both the in-breath and the out-breath you develop a rhythm, a cadence, and an auric vibrational clarity and presence that effuses out. But when you don’t, then you have this distraction or commotion from within, because you’re misaligned so to speak and not taking in both directions, both qualities, that you can do. You may not want to do them, you may not think that you can do them, but you can do them, and you can do them in such a way so that the degrees, or the extremes, are pulled together into a balance.

Do you see how that is? It’s a very a complicated dream.

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A Finer Presence

higher-selfWhat could be more fundamental than a battle between two levels of consciousness within a life? Said another way, it can be seen as a battle between the lower-self and the higher-self. And it is really a struggle for access. Our lower-self nature wants to keep all our experience to itself, while the higher self wants access into the world through the outplay of our lower-self enactment, or living life. As we can see, both have riches that only attain value when they merge together. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: I was pondering how I would ever tell the meditation dream to the dream group because I realize that they would try to look at this as a dream, but to understand it you’d have to recognize it as a vision. And so, as a result of suddenly being able to see this as a vision, I was able to recognize that the difference is that the transmission is more direct from the inner into the outer as a vision than it is as a dream.

As a dream, you have the variables of your psyche, and all of the experientiality that your soul has over who knows what schematic of time, that feeds you reflective images that are called a dream, from which you are able to, little by little, get to the point where you can see that there is something behind those images that speak of a higher-self moving around or awakening.

Well, in a vision the images are overwhelmed. They don’t get in the way. The transmission comes directly through, and it hits you straightaway. And so it caused me to actually, after all these years, kind of understand what Bahari meant when he said he didn’t believe in dreams because the way he put it, how do you know the difference between the evil one and something that’s divine? And what he really meant by all of that is that dreams, too, are reflective. They’re reflective from the standpoint that to understand them you have to be able to go through the churn effect of your synapses, and the images it throws up in its floundering capacity, because this innerness is not something that can be grasped straightaway.

However, as a student advances they get to a point where you don’t have this synaptic firing off that gets straightaway in the way, and then you can have more of a pure transmission, and that would be a vision. And that’s how you come to understand what Bahari said.

In order for me to recognize a vision, I actually have to have something that ’s so bizarre that you have to get it directly, or otherwise it’s just straight bizarre.

So in my meditation dream, there is an image of a battle between two levels of consciousness. So in this image, I am at a lower level and I represent Carthage. And I am confronting a level of consciousness that is above Carthage, or higher-self level of energetic.

Now I am concerned going into this battle because I am of the opinion that the higher level of consciousness always prevails. In other words, it’s always an inner coming into an outer. And I have to live under the terms of an agreement which are that, to the victor belongs the spoils.

So, before this battle begins, the two levels are seen as being like in an alignment, or polarity, in which I as Carthage are at a lower level ,and up this pole or however you would characterize it, is this energetic force I am going up against. To my surprise I win. Per the agreement, to the victor goes the spoils. The riches of both levels before this battle ever started, were placed in the hands of a neutral party. To my surprise Carthage went into this battle with a lot more riches than the higher force of energy. Because Carthage won the riches of the higher self was revealed to me. I have access to those riches. I give this away to my opposition.

This is what it means: to the victor goes the spoils. The loser keeps the riches it has, and I keep the riches I had going into the battle – but I already hold onto the larger amount. In other words, I’m closer to manifestation. I hold onto the larger amount. And so what has been put up by me is much more than what has been put up by the higher consciousness. So in a way the proportionality looks unequal when you look at it, but the higher consciousness that I am able to now access seems to be given back. I can do this because technically I have access to it now, and so I do not need to take this and add its exceptionally fine riches to my current overall bounty.

Although the bounty of inner wealth is less than what I have, it is pure. In other words, you can’t really mix the two together, and so I have to access it by shifting. From my perspective as Carthage, a stronger more grounded but denser overall energetic force, in other words, because I’m more grounded and denser and more in the outer, I am so glad and surprised that I won -because of my spiritual conception that the inner always comes into the outer and that is what you hearken to – and I won and now have access to this much finer level of consciousness as well, I feel l need to try to even the scale a bit. That is why I let the loser also retain what they had.

In other words, I leave the higher self. I can’t disturb. I don’t contaminate the higher self. It stays as a consciousness that it had going into the battle because it’s finer. It doesn’t mix with my greater abundance of wealth that I had to put up, but it’s of a lesser contend or metal or value, even though it’s more. To this very fine gold I also allow the loser of this battle to take a little from my over abundance, a few shekels, not a lot, that he can add to his treasury if he likes because I have way more than what I need. As the victor, I do not need to take the fine gold. I have access to it. It is simply now on another level in my awareness.

To mix this fine gold with my baser-grade coinage would create a confusion on this general level that I’m in in manifestation, and I don’t need that. So I choose to remain as I am, a consciousness on this plane of manifestation that is the dominant force. It is okay that what I have is not as refined. I do not mix this together. I simply hold the finer wealth as an inner level I can shift to as need be.

Because I have no need to shift my awareness to this finer level all the time, which wouldn’t make sense because I am located in manifestation where I have access to all the lesser grade wealth that there is, this is enough for me. I am resigned to that.

Meaning: this image is like a vision. In this vision I am seeing more how it works in terms of the universal consciousness of the creator. The inner is not going to obliterate the outer as I conceptually feared and believed as I was going into the battle. Such a belief is a spiritual illusion which gets in the way of the awakening process.

It’s true that the inner is a much finer substance, and there’s not as much of it by far and away. In other words, you’ve got a whole bunch of things that you can see and perceive and get caught up in that is in the outer, but the inner simply makes itself accessible to its lesser grade counterpart in manifestation as part of awakening.

I exchange this inner level as taken in to manifestation. In other words, the way I handle it is it works as a means in terms of becoming more grounded, the inner does. It becomes more grounded, otherwise it’s too intangible, and it gains a footing by way of the few shekels it didn’t have before when it was simply hanging out in its higher consciousness.

This is a vision establishing the understanding of life I had been misconstruing. The loser actually doesn’t ever lose their fine wealth. If this was so, this would defy the laws of the natural world. Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it merely shifts and changes in subtle ways. As the so-called victor, I have access whenever I need to access the higher consciousness by shifting to this higher consciousness that is within.

Because I am located and agree to remain in manifestation in which there is a lesser grade vibration, that’s a reflective one actually of something that is really real, that’s the innerness, I freely give up what I have here in abundance and perhaps someday even all of it to this innerness so it is able to come down into manifestation more. To the degree I do this, is the degree I bring the inner into manifestation.

I have been changed. I am now a foot soldier in manifestation that has access when needed to this finer inner presence, and correspondently from what I am able to let go of, this finer consciousness is able through me to be more grounded in manifestation.

The inner comes into the outer in a shift in consciousness. As the veils drop, the access becomes more and more apparent. That is how it works. My lesser grade awareness, to the degree I’m able to truly let go of it enables me to ground this finer inner vibration as a substance of my innerness. Such a shift enables the inner to come down more and more into manifestation, to enrich and quicken the world’s soul upon this plane, with this subtler, but virtually inaccessible, inner essence.

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Entwined, or Entangled?

webIt seems to be coming up more and more these days, this territory of being able to hold something on an inner level no matter what is happening around us. This ability is important because it allows us to be balanced when things around us are in upheaval. That helps us, and it helps those around us. And it is something that we have to constantly choose to uphold, rather than just being swept along by outside forces. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: I just seem to have this one dream in which I didn’t feel like much was happening.

I had gone to live in kind of a little more desolate area on the property. It almost felt like a ranch. The property was owned by the people that ran the ranch, so they had a little house that they rented, so you could almost walk from their house to where this little house was. And this little house is just one of those little ones that’s about a kitchen and living room all run together, and maybe a small bedroom and a bathroom and everything in there is rented, including the stove,

And it’s very simple, and it feels like when I’m ready to move out my sister’s going to move in, and there’s snow on the ground at that time of year. And I go to town one day and I come back because I’m moving the next day, and I’m looking around, and I’ve noticed that while I was gone to town that the landlords moved the stove out.

The stove is part of what you rent. Other things were mine, but maybe I was leaving like I had a barbecue or something. I think I was leaving that for my sister, and I have these special keys that fit the door, or fit other things, and I’m taking those keys off the keychain to either pass to the sister in front of the landlord, and then I feel like I’ll mention to them something about the stove that they could just move it back in because that’ll be part of what she rents.

But maybe she needs to talk about that with them, and that I just have a few things to load in my car and then I’ll be going. That’s like the whole dream. It’s very quiet in a way.

John: It seems like the dream needs to continue.

Jeane: I know. That’s what I felt like, too, but I couldn’t get back to sleep.

John: Because the theme of the dreaming had to do with being able to hold a kind of presence or awareness in which you let go of things in the outer, you let things happen in the outer. You have the ability to let things happen in the outer because you have an inner quality within that is able to intertwine and effectuate the changes from afar, or basically through the ethers, or from within.

So where I would have thought the dream needed to continue would have been, it wasn’t really clear that the stove would be put back into the cabin as an essential component to this being able to be passed on to another. And so, how you actually handle that was not how you’re meant to actually handle that. It needed more following up it would seem.

Had I had this dream in relationship to the way things were unfolding last night, I would have had to come to the realization and recognition that if I try to micromanage, or get too intense over, the issue I actually lose a certain perspective or sight because I do not intertwine or work with the innerness in this other capacity that is possible. So what I’m wondering is if you picked up on the vibe, but not completely.

So there’s a little bit of confusion over how you’re… and for you it’s more of a confusion over how far you need to carry your scope of attention. For me the bigger issue is letting go. For you, you can just let go and act like it should go to someone else as a responsibility, but I can’t look at it that way. I have to look at it from the standpoint that it either gets handled, and I have to overindulge to make that happen, which I am shown destroys a cadence and an unfoldment both in myself and in others, or I have the wisdom to know how to step back and hold a space in which something then comes through, or flows through.

And in some instances, even when that doesn’t happen, I need to have that trust in a greater whole – as if there’s some other power that knows better. That power, of course, is all inside of me, but I can’t catch up with that understanding inside of me if I’m flinching and reacting all the time. And it’s hard not to keep flinching and reacting when you have this reflective domino effect that can occur on the outer, and it may be insignificant or meaningless in terms of the scheme of an inner unfoldment, but you don’t necessarily get that inner unfoldment memo when you’re indulged, and caught up in something, and thinking that it needs to be this or that, and can’t see the forest for the trees because you’ve gotten so entangled, rather than intertwined.

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