At the end of the day, or at the end of our lives, who we are is the sum of what we choose to uphold. On a spiritual path, that means to choose to uphold a life in service to something greater, and to let that truth guide our thoughts and actions. Still, reality has a way of always knocking us off our stride, and part of the management of our lives is to get ourselves back to our core with the least digression, and that means being conscious of when it happens. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
John: In the meditation dream I need to go from where I’m staying, just a couple of blocks down some narrow streets and alleys, to something that’s like a church, or in other words, it’s a sanctuary kind of atmosphere type building, and from there I’m able to leave and go to another destination that I need to go to. But first of all I have to reconnoiter from this place.
It’s almost as if I had taken a walk with somebody to kind of show me the path, so I’m shown the way there by a person, but now I’ve come back and now I have to re-walk those steps on my own with my luggage. I feel that somehow or another I know this inside, even though I cannot rotely describe that you go this way and that way and this way and that way. Somehow I’m going to do this, and after all it’s only a couple, three blocks. How can you screw up?
But the lighting changes, and the streets change. They get narrower and there are darker places. There are things I guess that could throw you off, but only two or three blocks? But when I try to do this myself I blow it, I get lost, and I refuse to try to go back as if I could reconnoiter from where I had left and then give it another shot. I keep thinking I’m going to find it.
And, at one point, I’m realizing these bags are all kind of slowing me down too. If I’m going to stumble across this, I need to set these bags down. So now I’m making a mental note of where I left the bags as I’m wandering around. The next thing I know I’m even more twisted around, and I finally have to realize that I don’t even know where my bags are at, let alone where I came from, let alone the name of the place I’m supposed to be going to – so I can’t even really get advice from anyone.
And at one point it’s so bad that I cross some railroad tracks and I notice I’m down along the wharf or something and I’m running into a bad element; if it wasn’t the daytime they probably could have beat me up or something. It’s all I could do to kind of get back out of that area again, back in the approximate neighborhood of where this is at, but still not have any idea where it’s at.
I see myself going through a Chinese restaurant and finally I realize I am so out of it, and haven’t a clue anymore to where I’m at and what it is that I can possibly do next, that this is so miserable that I force myself to break this impossible irreconcilable condition, force myself awake.
I couldn’t handle it, it was too miserable. At least I always have an option apparently in these other dreams. I had ran out of all options. I had no idea. I couldn’t ask anybody. I don’t even know where my bags are at. I mean I can’t get directions anyhow. It’s gotten too busted up.
So, anyway, what’s going on here is this vibratory confusion was created when my act of imagination – okay, I’m setting the scenario now. In other words, when I started to meditate there was a part of me that started getting really active about something. Actually, I considered it a clarity, but you have to drop all of that. That’s kundalini energy firing up.
This dialogue inside, even though it can seem wonderful and entertaining, twists the vibe of a balance and I wasn’t able to go somewhere at a greater depth. It kept me in kind of a little mud puddle trance. And so I tried to listen to the inner sound and let all of this fall away, and it worked, but only apparently to a degree because something malingered, or remained, and that triggers this whole episode of an imbalance-like amnesia.
I’m actually not properly in the inner space, and I’m a little out of control. I’m still spiraling a bit. What is interesting is that a vibe like this, you know, and we have these vibes like this in the outer all the time where our attention goes and we get all carried away, and then we don’t do what else, and what is needed that is imperative. We can’t hear the inner qualities, the intuitional qualities or however you want to say it because we put ourselves in a bit of an oppressed demeanor.
In other words, it can get to the point where you feel you need to do something, but can’t do it because you’re possessed by this other. You can even see it as you’re procrastinating and can’t help the fact that you’re procrastinating because you’re strung out by this other thing that’s holding your attention.
To be in a state like this is to be out of touch. In other words, every person has kind of a focus and attention in terms of trying to conduct themselves. Usually it’s very linear and they’re lost by that. But it can be fluid, but still be an imbalance lilting this way and that way instead of maintaining a clear-cut focus and attention in which things continue to flow.
This dream is accentuating the miserableness I feel when I go astray of that which is pressing to come through me as a clarity that I ignore, because I am caught up by this energetic way of pulling my attention. To be like this is to get lost more and more until I just can’t stand being in my own skin anymore. In other words, that’s when you just throw it all off because if you don’t then something will have to happen that will smack you in the outer to kind of bring you back hopefully to yourself. That’s when you can get sick, you can have an accident, because you’re out of tangent with what it is that you’re supposed to be able to recognize, or to see, or to experience, or do.
In the dream I force myself awake to break out of the miserableness. In manifestation, when I go off on a tangent like this I suffer until something relieves me of my misery, which usually is not necessarily something that I like. I might just have a catastrophe. That causes the thing if I can’t drop the affliction or addiction that will do it.
The meditation dream points out what it is that I am doing to myself by such a vibe. This vibe is taking me towards a disastrous outcome. That’s how I know it to be in the outer, and in the inner it’s a point of frustration of complete confusion. There are no answers because everything is reflectively off as well.
This is a problem with a lot of people in life who are lost with how they are meant to resonate. In other words, they’ve lost the note to it, the inner overall awareness, and when you lose that, that kind of inner quality, echo side of yourself, or however you want to call it, where you lose the light would be maybe another way of describing it, you’re not able to cope anymore. You know, you’re just a walking zombie.
This is a problem in life for people who lose the inner note to their well being, can’t find it anymore, and no longer can find the insightfulness in which they reach a point in which having lost the thread they’re unable to make sense out of anything.
To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Losing the Note
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